And there I went again, off on a tangent that served no purpose except to distract me from myself and my reality. It was time to stop this shit train, and to grow the fuck up.
I disentangled myself from the warm snuggle of Luc’s grasp, and knuckled my fists into my eyes. “I think we should find out what else Rosie and Dalziel know about the Fae. All I’ve done is tantrum about what a fuck-up my life is, woe is me, poor Charley. Everyone else has been trying to help me sort it out. I should be pulling my weight.” I shot Luc a watery grin. “And working out how to get you to stop looking like your dog died and to fuck me ’til I can’t remember my name, but that should probably wait a while.” I sniffed inelegantly, and just managed to stop short of wiping my nose on my sleeve. “I forgive you, Luc, totally. You’re a wolf shifter, and you’ve been brought up to distrust the Fae. It was never your fault you reacted the way you did.”
Luc gaped at me. “That was some speech.” He rolled to his feet and held out a hand to pull me up too. Wiping the last of the tears off my cheeks with the pads of his thumbs, he leant in and pressed a kiss to the tip of my nose. “I don’t deserve you, Charley. I really don’t.”
I barked out a surprised laugh. “God, nobodydeservesme, Luc. Occasionally though, there’s a deluded idiot who doesn’t run fast enough in the opposite direction when they see me coming. This year, you are the holder of the idiot ticket.” But I smiled as I said it, because he might be a fool for sticking by me, but right now he was my fool. And I lov—
I absolutely didnot.That wasn’t possible. I liked him, and I fancied him loads. What I was feeling was a natural combination of lust and gratitude. Insta-love was for characters in those weird-ass paranormal love stories Emily in year 9 used to bang on about to anyone in hearing range.
Well fuck my life.That was a plot twist I hadn’t seen coming. Iwasthe weird-ass paranormal. Huh.
In a daze, I nodded when Luc declared the fire would burn itself out, but we should tell Eleanor we’d left it alight, in case she wanted to check on it later. I followed him down the winding staircase, and back outside, where he tugged the door shut as I winced and screwed my eyes up against the bright sunshine. Typical: we’d come all this way north at the tail end of a grotty autumn only to find a break in the clouds. With me grumbling from inside my hoodie, we made it back to the house, where Pavel greeted us, requesting that we keep from making any disturbance while his master rested. A quick glance at my phone told me it was almost midday.
Luc assured him we’d be models of tranquillity, and pasted on a hopeful smile. “Any chance of a snack, Pavel? We could take it in the library, and work while we eat.”
Pavel gave a minute shudder, and replied in a pained tone, “I think the dining room would be more appropriate, sir. Some of the books are rather old.”
Luc looked instantly chastened. “Sorry, not used to working with ancient manuscripts. You’re right, of course. But we could take it in the kitch—”
“Let the man do his job,” I interjected. “We’ll be in the dining room, thank you, Pavel.” I hurried Luc along the corridors, then shut the door behind us as he sank into an easy chair. “Sorry. I don’t think he’s used to dealing with people who don’t expect to be waited on hand and foot. We’re making him uncomfortable.” I flopped into another chair and wriggled out of my hoodie, cracking my neck and shoulders. “Fuck, I need another hot shower. Or a long soak in a tub. Sleeping on that couch last night was bloody uncomfortable.”
“Yeah, I bet,” Luc answered absently. He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and steepling his fingers. “You’re right, of course, about Pavel. His life is all about service. It was gauche of me to suggest he should do things differently.”
“Don’t sweat it; he won’t.” I yawned, and rolled my head as loosely as I could. “I wonder if Eleanor takes a nap while Dalziel sleeps. It would make sense. Fuck it though, her body clock must be so messed up.”
Luc grunted. “Like ours isn’t right now?”
Pavel served us with tea, and an assortment of cakes and pastries. I kept my expression neutral, trying not to show my disappointment at the amount of carbs; they really didn’t do it for me. But then he bent down, and from the lower level of the serving trolley — honestly, this place was like a 1970s TV drama at times — he produced a stunningly colourful bowl of fruit salad and a jug of cream. “For you, young master,” he said with a flourish. “I’m aware your metabolism doesn’t take kindly to the same diet as Master Bradshaw’s.”
I beamed at him. “I think I love you, Pavel.”
His pale eyes widened considerably, before I saw him relax, and a tiny grin emerged. “You, young master, are a joker. It is good to have some youthful folk about the place.” He nodded to us both. “Enjoy your food.”
We dug in, and when Luc declared himself stuffed, which took longer than anyone with his physique should have been capable of, we removed ourselves back to the library in the hope of digging out anything else relating to the Fae that might prove useful.
Rosie was already there, poring over a huge volume, her face screwed up in concentration. She waved a hand in our direction as we entered. “Don’t suppose either of yous can put your paws on a magnifying glass, eh?”
We peered over her shoulders. “Yikes, that’s a scrawl,” Luc commented with a low whistle.
“Aye, I know. And faint as anything. I’m making notes, but I’m missing more words than I’m getting.”
I began searching all the drawers, niches and cubby holes. “Ta da!”
“Ya wee stoater!“ Rosie gave me a beatific smile, and returned to the previous page. “Right, let’s do this properly.”
It was painstaking, and took all three of us a concerted effort not to raise our voices, as we invariably disagreed about every other word, but, by the time Eleanor poked her head in some time later, we were fairly confident the document read correctly. The best news was, it made sense.
“Dalziel will be down soon,” Eleanor said. Lowering her voice to a whisper, she confided, “He was a bit of a grouch earlier. Please don’t be afraid of him, Rosie. Someone will take you home later this afternoon. I suspect he’d like to part on a more friendly note.” She smiled at Luc and said in her normal tone, “And after a decent lunch, obviously. I’d forgotten quite how much wolves can pack away.”
He echoed her amused grin and gestured at himself with a wiggly, camp hand that didn’t seem like him at all. “I can’t help it if it takes a lot ofinterestingfuel to keep this body smoking hot. Unlike Charley with his ‘Ooh, just some O neg and a side salad please’.”
“Oh fuck off,” I muttered, fighting a smirk, because it was funny, even if I was mildly mortified, but it was lost under the peals of laughter coming from Rosie, and Eleanor, the traitor. I mock glared at the latter, and she laughed even more.
“I’m sorry, Charley.” She didn’t look at all remorseful. “It’s actually a very good point. Would you like your lunch warmed up? Lucien did mention your first bagful was taken chilled. It’s allegedly far more palatable warm.”
Oh bloody hell. They expected me to chow down on a pint of the red stuff while everyone who wasn’t a vamp ate, well, you know, food? Around the dining table like the civilised beings we weren’t? I thought about it for a hot second. Of course they did. My Fae side had been well nourished today, and Dalziel drank blood. In fact, I didn’t know if hecouldeat or drink anything else.
My cheeks heating, I mumbled a quick, “Yeah, thanks,” and fled to the furthest side of the room, ostensibly checking out a book cover I found fascinating.
