She rubs her little face all over mine in greeting, purringaway. I’ve missed her so much. Her soft noises bring me comfort, but it also reminds me of the guys’ purrs and how they made me feel safe and wanted, which only brings more guilt and confusion.
I finally stand up, still holding Bellini, and take her over to the couch with me, petting her and giving her her favorite chin scratches. Harper puts on the electric kettle and pulls out two mugs for some chamomile tea. She doesn’t ask any questions, letting me collect my thoughts while the tea steeps. When it’s finally ready, she takes both mugs over to the couch, setting the tea down and patting her thigh.
With my head resting on her thigh, I curl myself into a little ball, Bellini tucked into my chest, and I tell Harper everything. The alphas, the rest of the trip, and Jensen—everything she has missed since I last spoke to her.
“I know they care about me. Besides you, no one has ever cared like they do, but I only know how to be independent and alone. It’s all I’ve ever known. It's why I have my sugar baby rules.”
“They sound like the type of alphas who might be worth breaking the rules for.”
They are.
When I don’t respond, she asks, “Are you done with them forever?”
My heart squeezes painfully, my stomach rolling with nausea at the thought of never seeing them again.
Could I live my life never feeling cherished by Zachary again? Go without feeling the safety of Alric’s arms, or never laugh at something Hunter said?
“No. I don’t want to be.”
I could never be done with them, not after the past week of them weaving themselves into my soul. No matter how I felt before, a lifetime without them would be empty.
My bottom lip wobbles. “But that doesn’t change the fact that I’m not going to be a good omega for them. For anyone. I chose to be a sugar baby because feelings were never meant to get involved.”
“Mads,” Harper says gently. “The rest of us are using it to find our packs. For most omegas in this, feelings are the whole point, besides being taken care of while we wait for our scent matches to show up.”
“I know, but for me, it was about getting what I wanted from alphas. This was about freedom, sex, and money. Now everything has been thrown into chaos.”
Pack life braids everyone’s existence together. It’s no longer about individuals, it’s about being a unit.
“Harper, what if I’m a terrible omega and they’re stuck with me forever?”
“You won’t be, and those guys seem like all they want to do is be glued to you. Sometimes life changes for the better. I know you’ve been hurt, Madi, but fate has a way of giving you what youneed, not what you want. It might be time to have a little faith in that.”
“Fate can fuck off.”
She laughs, but gets serious again quickly. “As your best friend, I think you’re perfect, but your parents kinda fucked you up. You only knew one type of pack and it was a shitty one. That sucked and you deserved so much better, but not all packs are like that. You get to mold your pack into exactly what you want. Those gentlemen standing in my lobby in the middle of the night didn’t seem like bad alphas. Are they?”
“No, of course not. Zachary is kind and tender. Hunter is a huge goofball with the best of intentions. Alric is”—I have to pause so I use the right words—“intense and maybe a little bit of an asshole, but I know what he feels for me is genuine.”
“They sound like great guys. Do you want to be in a pack with them?”
I nod. “I’m so scared everything will go wrong, but I think I want to try to be their friend to start.”
Fuck rule number nine. When I’m ready, I’ll tell them that.
I want them around, but I still need a few days to myself, so I can come back to them ready to compromise. We’ll need to start slow. It won’t be easy to suddenly stop being a hyper-independent individual and become a packmate. I don’t want to give up my apartment just yet. But I want them to get to know me, and have a real friendship grow.
Tonight’s events catch up to me, and I fall asleep before my tea is ready.
Sunday
Iwake up miserable. Whether it’s from my heat starting in less than a week or my body’s desperate desire for my scent matches, it’s impossible to tell. My whole body aches, shifting between freezing and a fever. Harper insists I stay in bed and rest, but I give up after a few hours, not wanting to be alone. Bellini never left my side, purring on my chest while I cried.
Harper’s office is below her apartment, attached to her art gallery. I take up residence on her bright yellow couch for the day, miserably wrapped in my favorite blanket. She’s on the other side of the office door, and I can hear every word of her flirting with an alpha who walked into her business. She has him wrapped around her finger, encouraging him to buy her latest painting, a $3,000 piece.
She's wearing a light blue dress that matches her eyes and highlights her fantastic curves. The top can barely contain herimpressive chest, the skirt clinging to her ample hips. I wouldn't be surprised if the alpha out there is drooling onto the marble floor.
Her fake laugh echoes around the space at whatever he says. “You are so funny! Once you complete your transaction, we can pop some champagne and really get to know each other. Cash or card?”
