But Alain didn’t laugh. Instead, he looked at her with that same expression he often wore when he was contemplating something she didn’t want to hear.
“Don’t,” she said, raising an accusing finger at him. “Stop whatever is running through that devious little head of yours.”
He offered her a weak smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “I can’t… not when it makes sense.”
“What does?” she asked. “The part where a madman wants me to play princess or the part where you think I could remotely pull it off? No. It’s too absurd to even think about.”
“Is it though?” He rebutted.
Nin huffed, shaking her head. Alain propped himself up on trembling arms and held up a hand when she tried to help him. Respecting his wishes, she watched as he struggled to sit upright against the wall. She averted her gaze as he studied her with a thoughtful expressionin his tired eyes.
“Nin…” he whispered, his pale fingers brushing against hers. “If it means you won’t have to steal anymore… maybe it’s worth thinking about.”
Her mouth grew into a hard line as she stared at the frayed threads in his thin blanket. “You can’t be serious,” she said.
“It’s not safe, though.”
Nin peered up to see where his attention had landed. She jerked her coat over whatever mark the nobleman—Cedric—had left on her neck when he pinned her to the wall.
“It’s nothing,” she assured him. “Just a scratch.”
“It could have been worse. I don’t want you to keep doing this just for me.”
Something pricked like a hot needle into her heart. Her jaw clenched. “I’m doing it forus. I can handle myself, I always do.”
Alain squeezed her fingers. “I worry about you. I worry you’ll get hurt… or if you’ll come back at all.”
His voice quivered just enough to cut through her. The candlelight flickered, illuminating the fear in his eyes, and she hated that she was the reason for his distress—that his honesty struck where it hurt the most.
A loud bang reverberated against the wall, immediately followed by a couple shouting at each other next door. Nin and her brother didn’t flinch. The arguments and smashing objects were a nightly routine that had continued for months. A dish shattered against the floor somewhere in their neighbor’s home, echoing against their cramped quarters. She swallowed hard, focusing on his pale hand curled around hers. If shedared meet his eyes, she would confirm the truth she’d secretly known for far too long.
She failed to provide him with the security he deserved.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I don’t mean to scare you.”
“I know, and I’m not blaming you. I just don’t want this to be all on you.”
“It’s not,” she said.
His forehead gleamed like melting wax beside him as he huffed a humorless laugh. “We don’t have to pretend anymore.”
“Alain…” she squeezed his hand.
Another cough racked through his thin frame. He doubled over, wheezing and shuddering, and she flew up to lower him back onto his pillow. Once he composed himself, his watery eyes met hers imploringly.
“I feel guilty,” he rasped. “Every time you walk out that door to support us. I can’t help but think it’s my fault—”
“No,” she cut in firmly. “Don’t say that.”
“I know you don’t want me to,” he continued, “But I feel it anyway. Every day, I lie here listening to the silence, knowing you’re out there because of me. As a man, I’m supposed to be supportingyou.And you, of all people, deserve a chance, too. Even if that means you have to pretend to be a princess.”
An invisible force clamped down on Nin’s throat.
All this time, she’d been so worried about taking care of him that she never considered how much he loved her enough to want something better for her.
She blinked hard and reached to smooth his hair. “You’re not a burden to me. Youknow that, right?”
“I know,” he said breathlessly, sinking into his pillow with his eyelids fluttering shut. “But it still feels so heavy sometimes.”
