“I know, I know. I’ve been dismissed,” Jean said, pushing off the doorframe. “But you’re calling it the wrong thing.”
Hot pressure built behind Cedric’s ribs as he folded his arms over his chest. “She defied orders.”
Jean didn’t argue the point. “She followed a lead we missed—and nearly paid for it,” he said. “But she found something we didn’t.”
Cedric stared into the ground as tonight’s events rolled through his mind like a tidal wave. The blood—her listless form—haunted his mind.
“She acted alone.”
Jean took another step closer. “Would you have let her act otherwise?”
Cedric refused to answer.
“You can call it defiance,” Jean continued, more quietly now. “Or you can call it instinct. Either way, it’s the reason we have anything to go on. She acted on what she believed was necessary.”
Another argument sat at the tip of Cedric’s tongue, but he couldn’t give it shape.
Jean inclined his head. “Captain.” He saluted, then turned and took his leave.
Cedric’s eyes remained locked on the floor, tracing the scuffs in the wood for several minutes. Conflicting thoughts and emotions battled for dominance.
Why couldn’t she do as she was told?
The rules had served him well. Order amid the unpredictable flow of court politics had kept him sane. Rules were predictable and safe.
Despite that, there were things he could not control.
The Duval family was known for strict command and steady leadership. They followed the law, remained loyal, and performed their duties without question. Yet Cedric and his family had once been at the mercy of a single rumor. One word had nearly destroyed their livelihood and a hundred-year legacy—born of nothing more than jealousy.
The rules hadn’t protected them.
And confinement hadn’t kept Nin safe.
No matter what he did to protect her, danger would still find her. It was in the very nature of the dutyhe had asked of her. He had put her in harm’s way and justified it by attempting to be her shield.
He had traded the princess’s life for hers.
Guilt stung within him, and he sighed. Cedric couldn’t erase that fact, but he wouldn’t allow her to face the threat alone. Perhaps Jean was right. Although she risked herself, she did what she believed was necessary.
It was up to him to guide her through what he had set in motion.
Chapter twenty-two
Nin stirred her porridge, her brow deepening into a furrow as she listlessly picked at her breakfast. Cedric had not come this morning, and his absence weighed heavier than the dull ache in her skull.
Last night’s realization sent a bitter sting through her chest. She had accepted this mission to save her brother, not to fall helplessly in love with her tutor.
What was it about the stern man that had won her over? His fierce protectiveness? His surprisingly tender touch when she stumbled?
Or perhaps she was simply a fool for thinking he had seen her—truly seen her—and that she actually mattered to him.
Her attention strayed to the bundle of letters tied with a red ribbon in her nightstand. In his last, Alain had proudly announced he was taking short strolls around their new property.
You won’t believe it, Nin. This home—this garden is all for us. I cannot wait until you return so you can see how beautiful it is. Everything has been paid off, so we do not need to worry about anything. We finally have a home!
A wash of cold spread through the hollow of her chest. Alain was waiting for her, and yet she longed for someone who would never choose her back.
The hardest part of all, more than the demanding training, more than the pressures of court life, was missing what she had left behind and mourning a happiness that would never be hers.
