This gift. This trust.All of it striking too powerfully through Raye’s chest, while Gaelfr kept studying her, his stubbornness fading. “Did younotwish for this, then?” he asked uncertainly. “Did you not wish for another son with Kalfr? With us?”
With us. Raye’s throat bobbed, and before her, Gaelfr’s mouth twisted with something almost like grief. “Should you not,” he continued, slower, “you ken Rurik can yet address this, ach? He can yet stop this, upon either of you, at any time you wish.”
It struck strangely through Raye’s thoughts, enough to jolt her to stillness. “Really?” she asked, hoarse. “But… Rurik didn’t say anything about that, when we met today.”
Gaelfr grimaced and muttered something about useless entitled healers, but his eyes kept intently searching hers. “Doyou… wish me to take you to him now, then?” he asked, halting. “And stop any chance of this son?”
Raye’s heart thudded, and she gazed back at him, unmoving. She should say yes. She should instantly recoil at even the idea of bringing another child into this mess. Of willingly having a son with an orc who might still hate her, an orc who she still couldn’t trust, who might still be punishing her. Who might bedeadin ten days.
But she couldn’t make herself say it. Couldn’t force those words out of her mouth. And the vision of her and Kalfr in the tunnel was unspooling behind her eyes, how she’d touched him, bent over for him,wantedhim. Wanted to meet him. Totrusthim.
“I just,” she began, helpless, and she blinked down at her hands, which were still touching Gaelfr’s chest. “Are you sure Kalfr wants that? Andyouwould want that, too?”
It was perhaps a ridiculous question, given that she’d just accused Gaelfr of plotting to gain this exact end — but his breath shuddered out with unmistakable relief. And when Raye glanced up, the relief was shining in his eyes, too, along with a trace of his familiar stubbornness.
“Ach, we would welcome this,” he replied. “Why ever would we not?”
There was a thread of incredulity rising in his voice, as if he couldn’t believe Raye could even consider otherwise, and she swallowed, searched his eyes. “Even if the son wasn’t… yours?” she asked, helpless. “Even if it was Kalfr’s again?”
The incredulity filtered across Gaelfr’s face, now, his eyes skeptical, his lip curling with disbelief. “Kalfr is myástvinur,” he said flatly. “Thus, his sonsaremy sons. They shall always be my sons, and there is naught that can alter this. You cannot have already forgotten this, woman?”
He was fully frowning now, and Raye should not have felt relieved, or even grateful. “No, I only…” she began, and then winced, took a breath. “And… if we did have another son… you wouldn’t take him away, right?”
Gaelfr scoffed, while yet more disbelief flared across his face. “Have we not already settled this, woman?” he demanded. “No, I should not take him away, just as I have not taken Svein from you! I should never wreak such great harms upon my own precioussons!”
Despite his affronted tone, his eyes softened, as though warmed by even the thought of having sons, with her. Multiple sons. And it was enough that Raye could draw in another breath, could make herself say it…
“And if we had another one,” she croaked, “would you… stay? Would you help me look after him, and keep both him and Svein safe? No matter what?”
Gaelfr’s eyes softened further, and his hand gently slapped against her arse. “This is what vexes you so, woman?” he asked, a little gruff. “Ach. If we had another son, I would stay.”
He would stay. It swayed Raye on her feet, but she fought to think, to hold her eyes on his face. “No matter what happens with Kalfr?” she asked. “Even ifhedoesn’t stay? Or even if I… I don’t keep my vow well enough? Even if I… I fail?”
Gaelfr blinked at her, once, twice, and then his gaze slid away, to something beyond her shoulder. “Ach,sæta,” he said, rough. “Even thus.”
Well. Something burned hot and bright in Raye’s chest, and her shoulders sagged, her breath heaving out. “Do you swear it?” she whispered. “Please, Gael?”
Gaelfr’s eyes flicked to hers again, holding for an instant too long, but then he nodded. “Ach, I swear it,” he said, raising his fist to his heart. “Before the goddess.”
The relief flooded through Raye’s body, enough that she had to close her eyes, gulp down deep breaths. Gaelfr would stay, if she had another son. He swore it. And even if he’d been secretly plotting this with Kalfr all this time, even if he never forgave her either — she could still trust him in this, right? If nothing else, she could trust him to keep his vows, and care for his sons.
Gaelfr’s hand was still on her arse, and he gave it another light, encouraging slap. “Now cease your fretting upon this, woman,” he said. “I am glad you and Kalfr have faced this together today, and found your pleasure together, also. For this means we are yet well addressing all this, are we not? We are earning his trust, and granting him yet more cause to defeat our enemies, and to stay. To make a new home, together.”
He made it sound so simple, so normal, as if Raye and Kalfr had openly discussed having another son together, and had come to some rational agreement. Instead of all these vows, and grudges, and secrets, and debts. All the mistrust, all the pretending, the looming danger and death…
“Now, what shall help to settle you upon this?” Gaelfr asked, his voice deep and bracing. “Should you welcome some tending from me? Or another chance to strike me in the bollocks, mayhap?”
Raye choked a shrill laugh, perhaps borne more of the lingering tension than anything else, but Gaelfr harrumphed, and slapped her arse again, firmer this time. “Bollocks it is, then,” he said decisively. “Now come,sæta, and train with me.”
Raye’s smile back felt too grateful, and perhaps a little weepy, also. But if Gaelfr noticed, he didn’t let on, and only went to fetch her a wooden sword, and waved her into the nearest ring.
And it did help, training with him. Having him teach her and taunt her, urging her to chase him, to watch her form, to channel her strength, to strike. And when she finally landed a strong hitbetween his legs, he crowed aloud and praised her, even as he staggered and bent double, both hands clutched to his groin.
They kept at it until Raye was laughing and panting with exertion, and they only stopped when Svein dashed over from the garden to meet them. He was energized and eager, excited for his own turn to spar with Papa Gaelfr, and Raye warmly smiled as she handed over her wooden sword. But then she lurched back toward Gaelfr, and leaned up to kiss his sweaty, stubbly cheek.
“Thank you, Gael,” she murmured. “I… needed this.”
It felt almost painfully true, because — she had needed this. She’d needed him to barge in, and drag all this into the light between them.
