“And you really think… Kalfr would welcome that, from me?” Raye doubtfully asked. “Or… expect that? After everything else today, it seems to me” — she swallowed, made herself say it — “that he’s only tolerating me. He’ll be civil, for Svein’s sake, and that’sall. And in truth, maybe he would still rather have that other woman, too. Maybe he would be happier to just move on with his life, without us.”
She couldn’t hide the bitterness in her voice, and she blinked at the sudden sound of Gaelfr’s low, disapproving growl. “Ach, no,” he snapped. “We are yet his kin, woman. You ought to have scented him today, when first we met. And then every time after, when he looked at Svein, or at you, or at you and Svein together. He longs to be part of this with you. Withus.”
With us. Raye’s exhale was slow and relieved, even as she desperately wished she could see Gaelfr’s face in the dark. Did he mean… withhim, too? Did he really think Kalfr still wanted to be a family with them, together? Withallof them?
“And when he spoke of this woman,” Gaelfr continued, quieter, “and saw this portrait of her… ach. He did not scent of love, or hunger, or longing. He scented of darkness, and danger. He scented…broken.”
Darkness? Danger?Broken? Raye stared unseeing at Gaelfr in the dark, while his hand kept stroking her, firm and steady and safe. “Thus, as I have said, we will take good care with him. You shall keep your vow to atone to him, and as long as you do this, I shall stay. I shall keep my own vows to tend to him, and keep him safe. And together, we shall address this, and help him,andhealhim. We shall guide him back to who he ought to be. Who heis.”
But for an instant, as Raye kept staring toward Gaelfr in the dark, she still wanted to argue that. To tell him he shouldn’t be putting all this on her, threatening toleaveif she didn’t comply, especially if there really was danger…
But what else would she do? She needed him. She needed them. For Svein.
So she lowered her head, inhaled a fortifying breath from Gaelfr’s shoulder, and forced herself to nod. But there was an odd stiffness in his solid body against her, a watchfulness. As if perhaps he could scent her hesitation, her unease, her regret.
“You do… yetwantKalfr,” Gaelfr said now, quieter. “Ach?”
Raye couldn’t read his tone — was it some kind of trick question? But she grimaced, and sighed, and forced another nod. Yes, as painful as it was to admit, she… she still wanted Kalfr. Maybe she’d always wanted Kalfr. And maybe that was another reason she’d never been able to forgive him, why she’d never gotten over him and Gaelfr in her garden, the way he’d arched into Gaelfr’s touch and his teeth…
But if nothing else, the pain and jealousy of that memory had almost entirely faded, now, and Gaelfr’s firm hand rubbed it further away. “Ach, I shall never stop wanting him, also,” he said gruffly. “So if you can again keep your word upon this, and keep yourself from scenting of jealousy and rage whenever I touch him, that shall be a great help.”
Raye frowned and elbowed at him, but only halfheartedly, and in return earned a light, teasing scratch from his claws. “If you keep learning thus,” he said, “mayhap you shall even enjoy this.”
Despite Raye’s grimace, there was still a quiet, hungry eagerness, whispering in her belly. Maybe there still was hope for this, for them. Maybe she could keep her vow, and pass thistest. Maybe they would help Kalfr, and learn what happened with that woman, and why he was here alone. And then, maybe they could find a way to escape the men, and then…
“Now sleep, stubborn woman,” Gaelfr said, with a yawn, and another gentle scratch at her back. “You can suck me again come morn, ach?”
It was preposterous, infuriating,wrong, and Raye was yawning too, and settling closer. She would argue with him later, in the morning…
So she closed her eyes, and slipped into the quiet safe darkness.
24
When Raye awoke, she was still in bed in the dark with Gaelfr, tucked close against his warm, slightly sweaty skin. But once she shifted upwards, he shifted too, his hand curving over her arse.
“Is it morning?” she asked, husky, to which Gaelfr murmured his assent, and his other hand slid down too, nudging her up closer. And Raye should have argued that, rather than easing up over on top of him, grinding up against the thick, thrilling hardness lying on his belly.
Damn, it felt good, even with that thin layer of her sleeping shift between them, and Gaelfr’s warm hands slipped to her hips, drawing the fabric up. As if he wanted this to keep going, as if he would do that, withher— and Raye quivered all over at the feel of that warm silken ridge spasming, flexing up against her bare skin. And all she had to do was slide further up it, feel that slick, rounded crown nudging just where she wanted it, ohgods—
“Ach,” Gaelfr hissed, his hands suddenly gripping her hips, yanking her upwards, away. “No, woman.”
A sharp, convulsive hurt stabbed through Raye’s chest — of course he didn’t want to, what had she beenthinking— and she squeezed her eyes shut, drew in deep breaths. While Gaelfr’s grip softened on her hips, and his groan scraped through the darkness.
“It is only the bond again, I ken,” he said, hoarse. “We do not wish for a son ofmyloins next, ach?”
Right. The bond. And hisson. And of course Raye would never want such a thing with Gaelfr, never,ever. And he would never want that, either. Right?
“And we ought to wait for Kalfr, in this,” Gaelfr added, a little rushed. “Tasting and touching each other without him is one thing, you ken, but ploughing is yet another.”
It took Raye a moment to follow that — Gaelfr didn’t mean hewantedto do that with her, did he? Let alone that Kalfr would want to witness such a thing? Orparticipatein it?
But even the thought churned up more dizzying hunger, enough that Raye’s tongue brushed her lips. And maybe Gaelfr had seen that, and his warm hand settled against her head, sinking easy and possessive into her hair. Guiding her downwards, toward —
“Mama!” cut in a high-pitched voice, dousing Raye with sudden, ice-cold panic. “Are you awake?”
Svein. Raye flinched and leapt out of the bed, dragging her sleeping shift down over her hips again. While behind her, Gaelfr lit the lamp, flooding the room with sudden dizzying light. And revealing that the door was still shut, at least, but now something banged on it, loud enough to make her jump.
“Mama!” came Svein’s voice again, far too close. “I can smell you awake in there!”
