His kin. His son. But that dredged up more misery, and more fear, because if Kalfr really came, what then? Would he bring his new woman with him? What would he say to Raye, after everything she’d done? Would he want to speak to her, let alone reconcile? Did shewanthim to speak to her, after he’d betrayed her? With Gaelfr, who’d spent last night in herbed, and touched her like that, andleft?
Gods, it was such a confusing confounding mess, aching behind Raye’s eyes, and she only vaguely heard Svein asking whether he could go with Gaelfr to this…Skai scouting track. But when she darted an alarmed glance up, Gaelfr was already shaking his head, setting a firm hand to Svein’s shoulder.
“No, it is too far away, son,” he said. “But I shall seek to come back before nightfall. And then we shall spend more time together, ach? We will test these wooden swords of yours with some sparring, mayhap.”
He nodded toward the corner, where Svein had stood the two wooden swords Kalfr had sent him. And in return, Svein’s eyes instantly lit up, and he launched into a series of excited questions about what kinds of sparring Bautul did, and what kinds of swords they used. All of which Gaelfr again answered with steady patience, while also rousing the fire, and plucking a pan from Raye’s row of hooks on the wall.
Raye blinked at him — he wasn’t making breakfast, was he? But yes, that seemed to be exactly what he was doing, tossing the rest of yesterday’s leftovers into the pan. “Whilst I do this, you ought to dress and ready yourself for the day, son,” he told Svein. “And you also, woman.”
He didn’t even look at Raye as he said it — ordering her around, behaving as though he owned her,again. And once Svein had obediently trotted off to his room to change, shutting the door behind him, she shoved herself out of bed, and glowered at Gaelfr’s forbidding back.
“I told you, you donotown me, Gaelfr,” she hissed, as she stalked toward the washbasin. “And we donotneed your —”
But then she jolted to a stop, blinking down at the washbasin. The washbasin that he’d used last night to… well. And while that appeared to be clear water in it, it could still be —
“I well washed this, last eve,” Gaelfr’s voice cut in, low and clipped. “And it is fresh water, also.”
Raye shot him a narrow look, but he was still frowning straight at the fire, his jaw flexing in his cheek. And suddenly there was the vivid, appalling vision of him last night in the firelight, standing in this very spot. Emptying himself of all thatstreaming white fluid, while his body had radiated such pleasure and ease.
Raye gritted her teeth and shoved the image away, and focused on washing up as quickly as she could. If nothing else, that wound at her neck seemed to have fully healed, though she could feel slight divots in the skin from where his teeth had bitten into her, damn him. And when she took off her dress — after making sure Gaelfr’s back was still turned — she soon discovered its neckline wasn’t stained with only a few drops of blood, but with an entire deep dark redpoolof it.
Her dismay rose as she stared at it — she was down to her last few serviceable dresses, as sewing them took time, not to mention the valuable cloth she could otherwise sell — and dried bloodstains like this were almost impossible to remove. And how would she find the time to make another one, and would she really need to meet Kalfr while dressed in one of these?
Only then did she realize that Gaelfr had turned to look at her, and too late she froze, her body swarming with sudden, humiliating heat. Because beyond the dress clutched in her hands, she was now standing there fully naked — meaning that Gaelfr could see everything. Her slackened breasts, her hollow belly, her too-sharp hips, her bony legs, her feet.
And Gaelfr was looking, gods curse him. His dark eyes running up and down Raye’s exposed body, as if he had every right. Lingering particularly on her brown nipples, and then — on that new scar he’d made on her throat, gods damn him.
Far too late, Raye flailed and clutched the dress against her front, while Gaelfr grimaced, and twisted away again. Hunching slightly as he bent over the fire, and again flipped the meat in the pan.
“I will grant you a new frock, woman,” he muttered, under his breath. “When I am able.”
Right. Of course. Because that’s what he’d been thinking about, looking at her like that. Not abouther, because why would he? He only cared about Kalfr, he thought she was hideous…
When did I say this?cut in his silent enraging voice from the night before.My ástvinur would not choose a hideous woman for us to share.
But that was before he’d actuallyseenher, and Raye kept her head down as she rapidly finished dressing, first in a clean shift, and then in another shabby, unflattering, too-loose dress. No. She didn’t care what he thought. She couldn’t trust him.
She didn’t meet his eyes again as they sat down for breakfast, even when he plunked a plate full of food before her. And despite her ever-rising misgivings, her stomach was already growling, and she grudgingly ate, as more memories of the night before flashed behind her eyes.I must feed you, and tend you, and make you full and plump and hale again.
“That was yummy,” Svein announced, once he’d fully demolished his own plate of meat. “You’re a good cook too, Papa Gaelfr.”
It rankled in Raye’s gut, even when Gaelfr scoffed, and waved it away. “Ach, no, I am not,” he told Svein. “This was all your mother’s doing from yesterday. Her cooking is the fare of the goddess, I ken.”
The fare of the goddess. Raye’s eyes snapped toward Gaelfr, narrowing on his face. Had Kalfr… told him that? Or did they just have similar patterns of speech, after being bond-brothers for so long? And also, far more importantly, why was Gaelfr complimenting her? He had to have some nefarious motive, right?
But his eyes were mild, and he nudged Raye’s half-empty plate closer toward her. “No need to squint at me thus, woman,” he said, under his breath. “I only wish you to eat. You need this.”
But it was yet more rebellious rage in the mire, more miserable memories of the night before. “I’m perfectly fine, thank you,” Raye said, as she shoved her plate away. “And didn’t you say you needed to leave soon?”
Gaelfr didn’t argue again, and Raye thoroughly ignored him as she worked her way through her usual morning chores, and reluctantly sat down at the loom for the day’s weaving. Because what else was she going to do? She couldn’t trust him, and he wasleaving, and she still needed to work, to care for Svein, to do whatever it took…
But Gaelfr didn’t seem in a hurry to leave, either, and Raye could almost feel his every movement behind her as he cleared up the table, and washed the dishes in the basin. And then, with Svein happily trailing along behind him, he went out and fetched more fresh water, and chopped an excessive amount of firewood, which he stacked up in several large piles beside the fireplace, though there was still plenty left from the day before. And finally, he went and fetched Raye’s shovel and steel washtub, and carted them into Svein’s bedroom.
“What are you doing now?” Svein excitedly asked. “Wait, are you digging mytunnel?”
Despite herself, Raye glanced up in time to see Gaelfr nodding, and yanking the trapdoor open. And after a few moments’ studying the hole, poking at it with the shovel, he began digging in earnest. Driving the shovel down with his full weight, and heaving the shovelfuls of dirt into the tub. His big shoulders gracefully shifting as he moved, his gaze determined and intent on his work, until he’d entirely filled the tub, and then carried it out to dump in the garden.
It was yet more frustration, tinged with grudging relief, because Raye had tried again and again to dig that hole deeper, until her hands had been red and blistered. And she could onlywatch in bitter silence as Gaelfr strode back in, and proceeded to do it all over again.
