Geva felt herself stiffening even more —hewas the one who’d wanted it like this, wasn’t he? — and he sighed again, even heavier than before. “Ach, I ought not to have called you a mere hireling today,” he continued. “And I ought not to have ordered your silence. But did you not also rage at me over a wrong I did not commit? And say I ought to sleep outside, rather than in a bed? And then call me asmug, smarmy, out-of-shape crook?”
It was an exact quote of Geva’s words, even spoken in a serviceable likeness of her accent, and she grimaced into the dark. “It was wrong of me, to suggest you shouldn’t stay at the inn,” she gritted out. “I know how it feels to be treated that way, and I’m realizing I — I clearly still have a lot to learn about orcs. But” — she drew in a shaky breath — “youdorealize I’ve faced considerable challenges of my own, too? And you threatened tofireme, and abandon me defenseless and destitute in the middle of nowhere, if I didn’t stay quiet, and obey you?”
Her voice had gone far too shrill, and she should stop, why couldn’t she stop. “And before that,” she went on, “you ransacked my employers’ house, you ruined my reputation and my career, you made me leave behind everything I’ve ever known,again! And” — she drew in a ragged breath — “I’ll never see Cecily again, either, and now she’llneverstop wondering why I abandoned her, andstolethose little trinkets from her, and —”
She bit off the words far, far too late, because gods, was she truly still fool enough to be arguing with this orc? While also actuallyweeping, damn it, dripping tears onto the damned bed — and she angrily dashed the wetness away, and bit painfully at her lip. No. What the hell was she doing. He wanted her agreeable and obedient, or else he wouldabandonher, and…
“F-forgive me, sir,” she blurted in a rush, as sharp, sickening fear plumed in her gut. “I shouldn’t have said any of that. I’m just very tired, and I —”
“Enough, poppet,” cut in Rathgarr’s resigned voice, and with it, a gentle but unmistakable elbow to her back. “I do not wish for your falsehoods, and I shall not cast you aside for speaking truth to me. I” — his voice lowered — “I ought not to have threatened you thus, this morn. For I swore a vow to you, and I shall keep it. I shall keep you safe, and then I shall see you across the sea. I swear this.”
Geva’s uneasiness was still surging cold and bitter, and behind her, Rathgarr huffed another heavy sigh. “And I do not wish for your fear, or your silence,” he continued. “Nor do I wish to lord over you as your master, woman. I wish us to be… helpmates, in this.”
Helpmates? Geva scoffed before she could stop it, the sound loud and betraying in the darkness, but Rathgarr only elbowed her again. “Helpmates,” he repeated, harder this time. “For this is what this is, ach? You help me regain my home, and my rightful due from my kin — and I shall do the same for you. This well serves us both, ach? Thus, what good is there in sniping and quarrelling over this?”
Geva clenched her mouth shut, fighting the sudden, almost overwhelming urge to point out that even before all this, he’d mocked her, he’d refused to answer multiple benign questions, he’d wanted to spray in herhair— until there was another gentle elbow in her back, another heavy sigh.
“I ken I have not so far shown myself well in this,” he continued. “I am not… used to having another to care for, thus. It has been… a long time. I am… sorry.”
Oh. Geva’s throat swallowed, her body slightly sagging against him. “And why, exactly, should I believe any of this?” she heard herself ask, her voice thin. “Why should I ever risk trusting you? You must realize that you have all the control in this particular situation? All the strength, all the leverage, and all the gold?”
But that was a snort behind her, a purposeful shift of Rathgarr’s body on the bed. “Ach, until we walk into Orc Mountain,” he countered, “and you hold my every last secret. With a few choice words, you could destroy all I seek to gain. Who shall wield the power then?”
It was a point Geva hadn’t at all considered, and for an instant she was caught in it, contemplating it.Wouldshe hold the power at Orc Mountain? Could she truly hold that over him? Over this huge, terrifying, enraging orc?
“Helpmates,” Rathgarr said again, flatter this time — and without warning, his huge body shifted closer. Enough to make her stiffen all over, but no, he was moving above her, easing himself out of the bed. And with a quick snap, the candle was lit again, illuminating the room with dazzling brightness, and showing Rathgarr kneeling beside his pack, plucking something out of it.
“A token,” he said, as he stalked back toward her, and held out the… thebook? “As a sign of my goodwill toward you.”
And wait. Wait. It wasGeva’sbook. Her family’s book. The book she’d left behind at the Fitzwalds’. And now… Rathgarr had it? He’d brought it? Here?
“Oh,” she said numbly, reaching out a shaky hand toward it — and gods, even the feel of it, the truth of its familiar solid weight in her fingers, was a strange, powerful relief. Enough that she abruptly clutched it close, cradling it tight against her heart. Gods, what had she been thinking to leave it behind, why had she agreed to any of this, to him —
Rathgarr snuffed the candle again, and was now settling back onto the bed behind her, his heavy body making it creak and sag around him. And when Geva’s own weight tilted a little more into his overlarge bulk as a result, she couldn’t find the will to wrench away.
He’d brought her a gift. A token. And he must have taken it before they’d left the Fitzwalds, right after she’d —tastedhim, and then he’d carried it all the way here. And why would he have done that? As leverage? As a bribe? Surely not as… a kindness?
“Thank you,” she said, her voice hoarse. “This book… means a lot to me.”
There was an instant’s silence, and then the feel of Rathgarr’s big shoulder shrugging against her. “Your scent was strong upon it,” he replied. “I knew you did not wish to leave it behind.”
Oh. Geva couldn’t seem to find an answer to that, and behind her, Rathgarr cleared his throat. “It is not in a tongue I have seen before,” he said. “Kraitish, mayhap?”
Geva felt a flare of surprise — he couldread,enough to identify other languages? — and hurriedly swallowed down that particular misconception. “It’s in Eziran,” she replied thickly. “My parents were both born in Ezira, but they served as state ambassadors in Wolfen. Up until five years ago, when —”
Her voice broke there — gods, she couldn’t bear to get into this, not now — but perhaps Rathgarr had followed anyway, giving her a sympathetic-feeling nudge with his elbow. “I am sorry,” he said, quiet. “Both my father and mother are laid to rest now also.”
Geva couldn’t deny another unwilling flash of surprise, an odd lurch of something almost like commiseration, and behind her Rathgarr cleared his throat again, louder this time. “So this…Cecily, you spoke of,” he said. “Is she also your kin, then? I thought you said you had no kin left to help you.”
Right. Geva grimaced in the darkness, but clutched the book closer to her chest, and drew in a breath. “No, Cecily is the Fitzwalds’ ward,” she replied. “One of my pupils.”
There was more silence, and then the feel of Rathgarr perhaps propping himself up behind her, his gaze oddly prickling in the dark. “You did not…carefor those sulky, spoilt brats at that house?” he demanded, with genuine-sounding astonishment. “Ach, I listened to them whine and wail for only half a day, and by then wished for naught more than to drop them all down a well.”
Something far too close to mirth bubbled up in Geva’s throat, and she fought the strange, unaccountable urge to turn around, to seek his eyes in the dark. “They certainly weren’t easy children to care for,” she replied, with a sigh. “But they’ve had a difficult time of it, too. Their parents barely acknowledged them, let alone offering them any real affection or support or safety. And poor Cecily always got the worst of it, she might as well have beeninvisibleto them, and —”
Geva broke off there, because why was she getting into this, either? One stupid apology — one single token — surely did not change the mess this entire day had been, all the ways this orc had hurt her? And surely now he would mock her, or use all this against her, or…
“You are very… fair-minded,” came his quiet voice behind her, surprising enough to make her twitch. “These younglings were… blessed, I ken, to have your kindness in this.”
