Jesstin slowed. It seemed so obvious, but he’d had plenty of other competition for his thoughts. “You, uh, might be onto something there.”
“Did anyone tell you how to open these doors, once we find them?”
He started walking again. “Mon didn’t know. Ryquin didn’t know. I don’t think anyone knows.”
“I’m still surprised Estelar actually locked away his own son.”
“Don’t be too impressed.” Where the hell was the market? Was it closed? Did it even have business hours? “Your uncle is only mad his own plans for you were spoiled.”
“Opening a door is one thing, but...” Elloven seemed to choose her response carefully. “I’m dead whether I’m here or there.”
“I told you to stop using that word,” Jesstin replied, rougher than he’d intended.
“Saying it or not has no difference to its truth.”
“Can we worry about one problem at a time?” He wondered if it was time to be concerned that the market was rejecting him, that it had what it wanted and no longer had use for his patronage. If he couldn’t retrieve his soul fragment, he’d return to Riverchapel a stranger. They couldn’t go back to the Forum Obscura where he’d met the Conductor. Not together. But if he could find another device like the especular...
“Even if you could, this...” She swept her hands along her body. “This isn’t real. Here, maybe, but my body, my actual body, is gone.”
“Don’t worry about that. I’ve taken care of it.”
It was several moments before her exasperated response arrived. “How? How exactly have you taken care of it, Jesstin?”
Bringing up Lexsea seemed imprudent, but he could tell the truth without mentioning her. “Your body is unchanged. It’s been preserved through magic, and it will be waiting when we cross back over.”
She didn’t seem to know what to do with that and went silent.
“Hey, El, it will be fine, all right?”
“You keep saying that.”
“Because it’s true.”
Elloven sighed. “And if it is... Ryquin cannot get in here, Jess. He simply cannot.”
He perked as they came upon another sign, but the market was nowhere on it.
“Did you hear me?”
“Ryquin can’t get in. I know.” If the nearest market had anything like the especular, he could handle whatever they asked of him. Then he’d just travel back, steal his fragment, and be back before she realized he was gone.
No, that won’t work either. The only time she won’t look for me might be moonrise, but I can’t travel at moonrise, and besides, what am I going to tell her when I need to sneak off to barter?
Elloven stopped in the road. “Even if it means I can’t go with you.”
Jesstin’s shoulders crimped taut. “Why would you say something like that?”
“You’re only frustrated because I’m willing to talk about this and you’re not.” She rankled in exasperation. “Don’t roll your eyes at me, Jesstin. You’re very good at picking fights when you let yourself feel a little too much.”
Jesstin recoiled. She had no idea what he was dealing with. “Or maybe I’m focused on finding this fucking market?—”
“Why, why does it have to be a place like that? What about searching for Mon?” Elloven shoved her hands out at her sides. “He could still be useful. Maybe he knows someone.”
Jesstin bristled at how easily she’d backed him to a wall, and he could feel the ill-fated words before they flew from his lips like spittle. “Mon’s about as fucking useful as this conversation.”
Elloven’s scoff was soft, trapped in her throat. “I know what you’re doing.”
“Do you?” What was he doing, trying to hurt her? Trying to get her to declare the prior night a terrible idea, so he could allay his own guilt? Looking for a fucking spiral, Jesstin? Look no further than yourself.
