“Oh boy, I asked for that, didn’t I?” Her nervous giggle was endearing.
“We can talk about my sex famine, but self-pleasure is a bridge too far?”
“Curses, Jesstin, I’m sorry I asked!”
He made a pondering hmm. “I wonder if it feels as good in the Infinitum as it does in our world. I should put it to the test...”
She pinched his arm. “Now you’re teasing me.”
“I was teasing you the whole time.” He drew close to her ear again. “That doesn’t mean I was lying.”
She pulled away from his body, but her hand was still laced in his. She spun, her fingers moving inside his hand through her pivots—one, two, three—grinning more with each revolution.
“Even watching you is making me dizzy,” he said but adjusted his hold to allow for smoother turns. The lanterns lit the glow in her cheeks, which disappeared and reappeared as she whirled. She seemed so young and free and full of light.
The song ended, and she stumbled sideways with a look that said oops.
“What did I say?” Jesstin’s grin didn’t flag at all as he guided her with one arm back to their table. When she scrunched her nose and glared up at him like he was her father spoiling all her fun, he said, “You can take that look back. I just did for you what I’d never do for anyone else.”
“I danced. You looked like a rabbit who stumbled into a deer hunt and wondered whether it would be the last mistake he ever made.”
“What an explicit insult,” he said. “What rabbits do you know that are nearly eighty inches tall?”
“I hear bears can be that tall.”
Jesstin spread his arms and craned back. “You’re looking at one.”
Elloven’s eyes rolled. “Here I was getting jealous of all these beautiful women staring, when all it would take is two minutes of them listening to you to shatter the illusion.”
“You’re not jealous of them,” he stated.
“No? Why’s that?”
Jesstin leaned in. “Because I’m not here with them.”
Her playful expression folded. She looked down. “Is this real? Are you really here?” Elloven’s eyes welled. “You won’t be gone when the light rises?”
“I’m really, really here, Elloven.” An instinct as old as the world made him reach for her again, but he abandoned it, same as he’d abandoned the more primitive one when he’d kissed her in the inn.
“I don’t understand why you’d do all of this for me.”
I’d do anything for you. “I wish I could explain it to you.”
“Explain the kisses then. Am I to assume they meant nothing?”
Jesstin swallowed and answered with courage. “They meant everything.” He’d let emotion lead their reunion, and it had been as reckless as anything he’d done. Impulse and restraint couldn’t coexist. “Everything.”
Elloven flushed bright. “Don’t worry, I’d never ask you to break your code for me. Though I suppose you did it for Lexsea.”
“I didn’t,” Jesstin said forcefully. He was glad she’d brought it up, so he could correct his lie. “I’d never let that bitch anywhere near me. I needed to...”
“You needed to what? Hurt me?”
He breathed deep. “I needed you to hate me.”
Elloven looked away. “With Taven, Castien, Fabrien... I knew who they were and what I was to them. They could break me in many ways, but not my heart. They couldn’t break what was never theirs.”
The implication went unspoken, but that only made him feel it more deeply. “You deserve someone who will never be so careless with something so precious.” His voice caught on the last word. “And I’ll get you out of here, El, so you can find your happiness.”
