Jesstin deflated. If she didn’t know how to find Elloven, she was wasting his time. “So I’ve been left to fend for myself, swindled, and with no idea where to go next.”
Her head tilted to the left, then right. “He lured you here with promises and expects me to keep them. How very Edmond. I will, but not for him. Aelloven needs to know how and why she ended up here, and no one else will spare the time or care to tell her, not even her father.”
“I know who killed Elloven, and I’ll deal with it. But I need to find her first, and if you can’t tell me how, then I need to find who can.”
“It’s more complicated than that. Magic keeps me from her, which means I can’t know where she is. Even if she were a room away, I’d never know. I never will.”
“How the hell am I supposed to find her then?”
“We’ll get there.”
“If we’re not there already, this conversation is over.” Though he hoped it wasn’t. Being near this shadow of Elloven was the first time he’d felt even remotely balanced since he’d watched her die. He was already dreading the moment he’d leave her.
Shioven twisted her hands in her lap. “There are markets throughout the Infinitum. Forums Obscura. Dealers of assistance. They may be able to find her, for a fee.”
Jesstin pointed at himself. “Does it look like I came here with any coin?”
“It isn’t coin they trade in.”
His mouth hitched. “How ominous.”
Shioven’s smile formed as she turned it on him. “I’ve waited a long time for someone like you. I’ve said none of what I’m about to tell you to anyone. All these years, I’ve stayed right here waiting, knowing the day would come, just not when. I lied, stole, dodged anyone who posed a threat to my continued existence, such as it is. I cultivated a reputation, one you gleaned well enough from Alice, but I’d rather they think I’m their most amorous midnight woman than know that all the men and women who have sat here, with me, in this very room, were the disparate parts of my effort to gather the truth for my daughter and find the means to deliver it. Then she went to Rivenholde, and I thought all of it had been for nothing—until I learned who she’d gone with. A White Kingdom necromancer, of all things. Do you know how rare that is? Can it be anything but intended?”
Jesstin didn’t have an answer to give her.
“Her death...” Shioven’s voice rattled. “Was the first time in either of my lives I’ve felt incurable despair. Not even when she was taken from me did I lose my hope so thoroughly. But Mon told me of the necromancer caught in my daughter’s snare. He thinks I don’t know how he and the others will remind you that your only priority is to free the masses, not save one woman, but the thing about the Infinitum, Jesstin, isn’t what it is but what it gives and what it takes. It offers fear and has the gall to charge you for it. The price is only your own humanity, slowly flaking away, like dead skin. The more you indulge the hope of beating it, the higher the price. Mon spent his years deviling the labyrinth with his band of separatists, never realizing every time he stretched himself between worlds, he left parts of himself behind, that the very freedom he chased would mean nothing when he exited this world a man who no longer knew his own reflection, outward or in. Mon scorches the path behind him for the one he believes awaits him. But every spark, every curl of smoke rising in the distance, changes the destination. He cannot see the dawn because he plants himself in the shadows.”
“I have no loyalty to Mon, and he has none to me.” Jesstin had met his share of extremists. The Reliquary had plenty, and there were the men and women who never missed an evening in Mythgarde, spending more time with their cohorts than their families. “If I can free all of you, I will. But there will be no sunlight for anyone, not even me, if I don’t find Elloven. He’s lost the humanity he fights for if he can’t see that.”
“Mon and the others, they’ll ‘indulge’ your need to find her as long as it does not waylay their plans. You don’t owe them or me anything. Never lose sight of what matters.” She paused. “Before I... Before I tell you what you need to know, will you allow me a question?”
Jesstin shrugged. “Sure.”
“I read a lot of conflict in you. And forgive me if this is forward, but I see how you look at me. It brings me back to a time when I was loved.” She nodded, her eyes cast to the side in memory. “Others have told me she’s my spitting image. How confusing that must be for you.”
Jesstin shifted in discomfort.
“Everyone says they’d travel to the ends of the earth for someone they love, but it’s an easy thing to claim when you know you’ll never have to. But here you are...” She tipped a nod at him. “Taking not a leap but an entire flight of faith, with no promise you’ll get what you need or even be able to return to the life you left behind. You’re still so young. You don’t have to tell me why you’re here, but you should at least be honest with yourself. Because when you find her, she will expect that same honesty, and she deserves it.”
He hadn’t anticipated being read like a damn book, but he should have. Elloven had seen to the heart of him within seconds of their acquaintance. It shouldn’t be a surprise her mother was just as shrewd. “That wasn’t a question.”
“No.” She chuckled and tucked her hair behind her ears. “Not for me anyway.”
“Right.” Jesstin cleared his throat and moved again, unable to get comfortable. “Should we...”
Shioven held her hands palms up. “I could speak until the dawn broke and would still never get to the whole of it. But if I show you... You’ll know enough. You’ll have everything you need. With it, when you find my daughter, you can protect her as I never could. Not even Esmeray, in her misguided...” Shioven hung her head with the unfinished thought. “Will you put your hands over mine? Will you receive this message, for Aelloven?”
Jesstin had no idea what she was actually asking but nodded.
She gestured for him to add his hands to hers but then withdrew them. “Have you heard of... Do you know what I mean when I say the word Meduwyn?”
He’d heard it but wasn’t placing where. He shrugged, trying not to take his impatience out on her. Everyone harped about time but treated it carelessly. It didn’t help that being so near Shioven was a dangerous trip to an explosive, confusing time in his life, where the answer to her not-quite-question lived.
“How about Ilynglass?” she asked.
Jesstin grunted. “I’m familiar with the myth.”
“It’s no myth,” she said. “It all began there. Many years ago, it ended there, when every door leading to that world slammed shut, including the one that allowed the dead to travel from the Infinitum to the Halls of Ilyn. Now, those who would reopen them all are close to the answer, but if they find it... If they succeed, it won’t be a joyful reunion with the past. It will be the beginning of the end. And Aelloven? She’s the result of years and years of desperation to reunite the worlds. She’s not special... To us she is, but not in a mystical way. She just has the exact perfect mix of heritage, and they’ve waited a long time for it. Now I don’t care about all that, Jesstin. I only care that my daughter never falls into their hands again. So when you save her, you get her far, far away from the curias. You’ll see why soon enough.” Her hands hovered back in the air. “There’s nothing to fear. No shock, no pain. You’ll close your eyes...” She waited for him to obey. “Slide your palms gently over mine.” Her smooth, warm hands traced his. “And witness the lengths fanatics will go to for time and chaos.”
