And I want to protect it.
I hand the Bible back to my sister and sit down on the loveseat next to my mom.
“Oh my goodness!” Annie exclaims. “Youaretotally in love with him!”
“This is terrible,” I moan into my hands.
“Why?” My mom puts an arm around me. “He loves you. You love him. It’s always a miracle when two people find each other. You guys will figure things out.”
“But we have so much against us. I don’t want him to lose his job, but I don’t want him to turn Norland Park into a luxury resort. And I definitely don’t want to work here when it happens.” I look heavenward. “I don’t see how we can get through this mess without one of us resenting the other—either Edward loses his job or I lose my home. Or more likely, we both lose our jobs.”
“That’s the sort of thing couples figure out together,” my mom says.
“But it seems like a big decision for a fledgling relationship.”
“It might be,” my mom gently strokes my back. “But you won’t know unless you try.”
Annie nods emphatically beside her.
“Okay, then what if it does work?” I ask. “What if I leave you?”
My mom’s expression softens. “Elinor, we’ll be okay. I know you’ve felt responsible for this family for a very long time, and I’m sorry you had to carry that so young. I honestly don’t know how Annie and I would’ve made it without you. But we got through that.”
She squeezes my hand. “You don’t have to hold everything together forever. Annie and I are grown-ups. We’ll figure things out. And if we have to leave Big Sur, so be it.” She smiles faintly. “We’ll be overly dramatic about it. But we’ll be okay.”
“Youwouldbe very dramatic about it,” I murmur, smiling in spite of myself. “But I’d hate for us to lose this place”
“Leaving home is the natural order of things. It’s scarier for you because you didn’t get to move out when you wanted to. But I’m guessing you’ll love it.”
This is a new thought. Have I been pushing Edward away because of fear—not just the fear of the relationship failing, but the fear of what it might mean if it works?
“And let’s say you move to the city,” Annie rushes to add. “We’d visit you all the time.”
“Okay, let’s not get ahead of ourselves. I’m just thinking aboutdatingEdward, not marrying him.”
“So you don’t want to see the bridal bouquets I’ve picked out for you...” says my sister, only half-teasing. “I prefer you get married when morning glories are in season. They wouldbe so unique trailing in your bouquet and for a boutonniere for Edward. They tend to wilt, but I have a few workarounds...”
“Please! Annie!” I put my head in my hands. “You’ve got to stop planning my wedding.” My mom and Annie just laugh, and eventually, I do too.
***
I wake up early Sunday morning andput a letter in the mailbox. I feel confident, happy and hopeful as I flip up the red flag. I wait for a moment at the crossroads. It would be perfect if Edward were to pass this way on his morning run. The world is fresh and glittering from yesterday’s rain. The sky is exceptionally clear, promising a hot day.
And then, as if I wished him there, I see a runner coming up the misty lane from the cottages. I let out a little gasp of happiness. Today is going to be a beautiful day.
The runner approaches, but this guy is too stocky for Edward, plus he has a beard. It’s Brandon. I step in front of the mailbox, wanting to block the raised red flag from his view. I don’t know how much Pepper and Annie told him, but it seems likely he will know about our secret mailbox and suspect my errand.
He waves. I wave back. With everything up in the air between Edward and me, I really don’t want to talk to Brandon.
Too late.
“Hey,” he stops beside me.
“Morning!” I say.
“I wanted to apologize for yesterday—especially for Pepper snooping on your mail. I promise, I had no idea what Annie and Pepper had planned, not until it was too late.”
“I don’t blame you. Or Pepper, or my sister. Okay, I blame Annie a little, but not much. And it all turned out fine in the end.”
