24
Elinor
“Why do I feel like a naughty boy called to the principal’s office?” Edward asks as he steps into my office a couple hours after being held hostage in the treehouse. Since then I’ve taken a hot bath, changed into dry clothes, and strategically placed buckets under leaks in the community kitchen. I’ve also done a lot of thinking. As wonderful as it was kissing Edward up in the treehouse, now that I’ve come back to earth, I realize nothing about our situation has changed. This is not the time to rush into a relationship, no matter how much I might want to.
That’s why I chose to meet Edward in my office. In order to think rationally, I need my enormous oak desk between us. However, I failed to consider the close quarters of this room. I’m even more aware of him here than in the treehouse. The whole room feels charged. Or maybe that’s because our kisses keep replaying in my mind.
“You’re not in trouble,” I say.
“But I have a hunch I’m not going to like what you’re going to say.” He sits down, resigned.
“We can’t date,” I blurt out.
“Why not? I like you—alot—and if our time in the Tower is any indication, I’m pretty sure you like me, at least a little bit.”
“Of course I like you,” I stammer, blushing. “That’s never been the problem. It’s... everything else.” Edward doesn’t say anything, just patiently waits for me to continue, and I can feel myself losing focus. “It’s just... you and I...” I shake my head, trying to find the right words. “Don’t you see? I think we want different things from life. And I don’t know how to ignore that.”
I glance down at my hands. “I don’t want to waste my time pretending it doesn’t matter. Not when it does.” My voice softens despite myself. “You have every right to make the business decisions you’re making. I can even see that they’re smart ones. But Norland Park—it’s not just a project to me. It’s... home. And watching you change it...” I trail off, then force myself to finish. “I don’t know how to reconcile that.”
He studies me. “What if I quit the Norland Park Project?’
My head snaps up. “I don’t think it’s reasonable for me to ask that of you.”
“So I’m damned if I do and damned if I don’t?” He stands up and walks over to my side of the desk, desperation on his face. “Elinor, I’m not ready to give up on us. We can make this work. We can find a middle ground. Iwantto find a middle ground. We can find a way to revamp the parkandpreserve the parts we both love.”
“Edward, I’m not going to have you upend your career over this... this...” I wave my hands in the air. “Whatever this is between us. Fine, we’re wildly attracted to each other. So what? It’ll pass.”
He pulls something out of his notebook and slaps it down on the desk. “Elinor! This is not just physical attraction, and you know it.”
As he lifts his hand, I see it’s one of my letters. He holds it up to me. “This”—he gestures back and forth between us— “is the first thing in my life I’ve felt like fighting for.”
His voice softens. “I’m a coward, Elinor, honestly. Did you know Caroline is the first woman I’ve ever broken up with? And it barely even counts as a breakup. I’m so conflict-averse I usually just wait to be dumped.”
“You’re kidding, right?” I can’t help but laugh.
He shrugs and puts my letter back in his notebook. “I once dated a woman six months after I knew the relationship wasover.”
“I really hope you’re exaggerating.”
“I’m not. I have always gone with the flow. I don’t like hurting people’s feelings or having them mad at me. I loathe drama. I always play it safe. And the funny thing is when I finally worked up the nerve to break up with Caroline, she was going to dump me anyway.”
“Seriously?”
“Yes! We both knew that neither of us wanted to take it to the next level. And truthfully, I was still thinking about this gorgeous painter I met last fall.” Edward shakes his head, as if to clear it. “It probably sounds ridiculous, but I couldn’t get you out of my head, Elinor.”
I’m stunned. Edward is speaking with so much raw honesty, and I so desperately wish that our situation was different. “If it weren’t for extenuating circumstances, I would definitely be into you,” I say. “Let’s be real, Iaminto you—you know that. I’m just being reasonable here. We are in no place to start a relationship.”
“And I’m just begging you to be unreasonable for once in your life. Give me a chance!”
“You said it yourself. You like to go with the flow; you hate to upset people. No matter what you do with Norland Park, someone will be angry at you.”
“I know that, but I can’t just walk away from you. You’re important to me. Themostimportant—”
“You can’t say that . . . I’m not . . .”
“Fine... I won’t if you don’t want me to, but it’s still true. You’re it for me, Elinor.”
“You can’t possibly know that so quickly.”
