“Don't get cocky,” I tell him. “She was just being professionally tolerant. Plus, she's clearly too smart for both of us.”
I don’t even makeit through the front door before I regret everything.
“Troy!” Freddie’s voice booms from the kitchen. “Ethan’s back and he’s brought—wait, is that a tree?”
“He’s a monstera.”
Alfie pokes his head around the corner, frowning. “Why are you carrying it like it’s a baby?”
“It has a name,” I say, stepping into the kitchen like I belong in this house. (I do. I pay rent. Usually.)
“Greg,” I announce proudly, holding him up like Rafiki presenting Simba.
There is silence.
“You’re having a breakdown,” Troy says flatly. “Should we stage an intervention or just set your room on fire now and save time?”
“He is someone for me to care for, a friend,” I say, setting Greg gently on the kitchen island.
“Oh, this is about Paige, isn’t it?” Troy replies. I hide my wince at her name.
“This is not about her.” “Some people drink. Some people rebound. Ethan goes insane,” drawls Alfie.
Freddie’s eyes widen, mock horror setting in. “Oh my god. Is Greg your rebound?”
“Greg’s the only one who hasn’t let me down this year,” I say solemnly.
Alfie, to his credit, just tilts his head at the plant like he’s trying to understand the origin of my latest brain worm. “You do know he’s not going to grow emotional roots and validate your life choices, right?”
“I don’t need him to,” I say, patting Greg. “I just need him to stay alive longer than my last relationship.”
There’s a pause. Then Troy snorts. “Better start praying now.”
“Or get a cactus,” Alfie mutters.
“Whatever, losers,” I say, grabbing a glass and filling it for Greg. “You’ll all see. He’s the start of a new era.”
“The…plant era?” Freddie asks.
“No,” I say dramatically. “The single era, I am done with relationships for now. I will stay with Greg until after college, when I’ll possibly open myself up to dating again. Until then, it’s one night stands only. Or celibacy.”
The boys exchange a look.
“Yeah, ok fine, one night stands.”
“I’m not sure whether to laugh or call a therapist,” Freddie comments.
To be honest, I’m not sure either.
Troy laughs like he’s already planning how to kill Greg.
Alfie just walks off muttering something about “If it sheds, it’s not living in the common room.”
“What are you up to tonight? Wanna come to the movies with me and Lilah?” Troy asks. As lovely as third wheeling their movie night sounds, I pass.
“I’m busy. Dad’s picking me up to go and watch the game.”
Troy nods. “Next time, then.”
