“Are you kidding? She lives for it. Every time Jackson brings home a new one, she acts like she’s meeting royalty.” I impersonate Mom’s sugary voice “‘Oh, Meredith works in PR! How wonderful! Piper, maybe Meredith can give you some tips on presenting yourself better.’”
My phone buzzes again.
Mom
Piper, did you see the message in the family group? It would be nice if you welcomed Meredith to the family!
Jackson says she’s lovely. Very put-together. Maybe you girls could go shopping sometime when you’re in the city? She has such great style!
“Translation,” I tell Riya, “Meredith dresses like an Instagram influencer and Mom thinks I need a makeover.”
“Your mom’s kind of intense about the whole thing.”
“She just wants me to find ‘a nice young man’ to add to the chat. Someone who gets it.” I make air quotes. “Like that’s the pinnacle of achievement. Forget my 3.8 GPA or thedating app I’m building. The real success would be having someone with a suitable penis to add to the family group text.”
Renner Fam
Jackson
You guys are the best. Mom, we’ll definitely be there for Sunday dinner
“Sunday dinner?” Riya winces. “Yep. Jackson goes home every weekend. Which is easy when you live in the same state. But I’m a bad guy for not hopping on a flight for every Sunday dinner, even though I have no cash. “Oh, it gets better.” I scroll up through previous messages. “Look at this. Two months ago, he was bringing Mackenzie to dinner. Mom made her famous lasagna because ‘Mackenzie’s practically family.’ I think they’re insane. Or I’m insane. Someone is insane.”
“Does he warn them their group chat privileges are temporary?”
“Doubt it. He probably doesn’t even remember their names half the time.” I think back to high school, when Jackson and his football buddies would rate girls in the cafeteria, keeping actual scores. “He’s been treating women like they’re interchangeable since we were kids.”
My phone buzzes again.
I’m going to throw this thing in the ocean.
Jackson
Hey sis, just add her on socials and say happy bday. Don’t be a rude
Takes 2 seconds.
Also, Mom mentioned you’re single again? I can ask Mer if she knows anyone. She’s friends with a bunch of cool NY guys.
I show Riya the text. She makes a gagging sound.
“Again? When was Inotsingle?”
I’ll do it later
I’m good for dating, thanks
Come on, don’t be like that. Mer knows tons of guys. Finance boys, lawyers, doctors. Real catches. Just say the word!
“And this”—I wave my phone at Riya—“is why I’m building an algorithm to remove all this bullshit from dating. No more wondering if you’re poor Madison or Mercedes or Meredith. No more getting added to family group chats just to be deleted three weeks later.”
“That’s pretty dark.”
“That’s reality. At least in Jackson’s world.” I think about all the girls from high school who threw themselves at him and his football friends. How they’d brag about their conquests in the hallways, rating them like cattle. How I’d shrink into myself, already knowing I’d never measure up to their standards. “They’re all the same. Every football player, every finance bro, every guy who peaks at twenty-two and spends the rest of his life trying to recreate it.”
My phone lights up again. The family chat.
Renner Fam
