“No,” I said. “This all came about from a desperate prayer because…” I sucked in a breath. Shrugged. Forced it back out. “I didn’t know what to do. I was alone and had no one to talk to.” My lips folded inward as I swallowed. “And I used to go to my mom for everything, so I did what I always did and…talked to her. I unfolded a map I’d bought and had no clue how to read, closed my eyes and asked her to show me somewhere I could start over and find myself again. My finger fell on Heaven, so…” A beat of silence lingered before I let out a soft laugh. “It could’ve been her leading the way from the afterlife—at least, I’d like to think of it that way.” I shrugged and let out another soft laugh.“Or maybe I was just really hopped up on too much sugar and reeling from the hair dye fumes.”
“Hair dye fumes?” he asked curiously, lifting a tendril from where it rested over my breast and twirling it around his pointer finger. “This isn’t yours?”
“It’s as close as I could get,” I said. “I wasn’t about to start my new life with the blonde hair he forced me into.”
A hum vibrated Zane’s chest, and I couldn’t quite tell if it was acknowledgement or something more…bothered. “What else haven’t you told me?” he asked, but not in a hurt or offended or accusatory way. There was humor in his voice, yes, but mainly genuine curiosity. “Let me guess…your name’s not really Andi.”
The corner of my mouth lifted as I gently slid that tendril of hair he was twirling out of his grasp, replacing it with my fingers as I laced our hands together. “Actually…it’s not.”
The porch swing stilled again.
“Andi’s a nickname.”
I felt him move behind me, and this time when he angled his face to look at me, I twisted too and met his curious gaze with an amused smirk.
His eyes narrowed slightly as he took me in and asked so affectionately, “What’s your real name then?”
“Alessandra,” I said quietly.
Zane repeated my name just as softly, and hearing it said that way, with sheer awe and adoration, made my chest pinch—like something broken snapping back together.
“But that’s not who I am anymore,” I added, still quiet but more firmly as I looked away from him and back out to the rising sun, snuggling into him as he set the swing back into motion. “Alessandra was the girl who allowed her life to be ripped away from her—who lost all sense of control. I don’t ever want to be that girl again.”
The arm draped over my belly tightened as he pulled me in closer. “Well, I thinkAndi’sdoing a hell of a job making sure that doesn’t happen.”
He pressed a soft, lingering kiss to my temple and we swayed in comfortable silence for a few beats as the world around us slowly woke up.
“Do you ever wonder what your life would be like if you’d ended up in Heaven instead of Tarnation?”
I thought about that for a long moment before answering him honestly. “I don’t think that’s crossed my mind once. I mean, sure, at first, I was bothered by the fact that I was stranded here but…this place kinda grew on me. The townspeople grew on me. Your family.You.”
I felt him grin against my hair.
“Even though Tarnation wasn’t the destination, I’m not sad that I ended up here. I asked for a place to start over and find myself, and I think I’ve gotten that. I went from having nothing of value to suddenly having friends who feel like family, working at a honky tonk, of all places, that feels like a second home, discovering mind-blowing sex with the hottest cowboy in West Texas…”
Zane’s deep, rumbly laugh shook my body as he tightened that arm around me again and pressed a kiss to my neck.
“And I have you to thank for all of it.”
“Me?” he asked.
“Yeah,” I said as a devious grin teased my mouth. “I mean, none of this would’ve happened if I hadn’t almost run you over?—”
“Ah ha!” he exclaimed, drawing a squeal out of me as his fingers assaulted my ticklish side. “The truth comes out!”
“You were standing in the middle of the road!” I laughed and squirmed my way out of his hold. Or at least I tried.
I managed to get halfway up from the swing before Zane’s arm locked around my stomach and yanked me back to him. A gust of air left my lungs as my back collided with his chest, followed by a surprised gasp when I felt him harden against my rear.
“Did tickling me really just turn you on, cowboy?” I murmured.
“Lyinghere with you all pressed up against me turned me on,” he husked against my neck, brushing my hair away so he could press his lips to my suddenly erratic pulse. “And from the way your heart is beating hard enough that I can feel it through your back, I think you might be a little turned on, too.” My head fell back against his shoulder as his mouth worked along my neck.
“I think you might be right,” I responded, breathy and already worked up.
His right hand slithered down the length of my body as he drew an agonizingly slow line from my knee and up along the inner part of my thigh. “Show me.”
I reached for his hand, sliding my fingers over his knuckles and tucking them between his as I silently guided him between my legs. Air rushed into my lungs as I sucked in a sharp breath when his fingers made contact with my already swollen clit. A low, growly sound vibrated in his chest as his left hand snaked into my borrowed pearl snap shirt, clasping over my breast and drawing a soft moan from my lips.
