My heart slammed against my chest, making my breath hitch. “Hate what?”
“That we didn’t meet sooner. If we had…” He paused, inhaling deeply through his nose as he chewed on the inside corner of his lip, like he couldn’t quite bring himself to finish.
“You can’t think like that.”
“I know,” he said, but the words didn’t carry conviction. His thumb dragged absently along the inside of my knee, like hisbody couldn’t help but seek the contact. “But I do. It’s all I’ve been able to think about since that night in the barn.” Those deep blue eyes met mine then, and something raw flickered behind them. “I want something with you, Andi,” he said, “but I don’t know if I’m allowed to ask for it.”
My throat went tight, and I swallowed hard against the pain. I wanted to say yes. Wanted to drop to my knees there in front of him and pull him closer. Wrap myself around him. Kiss him and tell him I wanted something,too. Tell him that I wantedhim. But the words lodged around that tight ball of emotion stuck in my throat, trapped behind everything I hadn’t told him yet—everything I still wasn’t ready to face.
“I don’t know if I’m ready to be someone’ssomethingyet.” My voice trembled as my hands slid away from his face to rest against the back of his neck. “Iwantto be, though,” I whispered. “But I’m still sorting through a whole lot of broken pieces, and I think tonight kind of made that obvious.” Blue eyes that somehow always made me feel seen locked with mine, and I swallowed hard again. “I don’t want to offer you half of me.”
A rogue tear rolled down my cheek, and he slowly brought his hand to my face, cradling my jaw as he swiped it away with his thumb. “I don’t need all of you today,” he whispered. “Or even tomorrow. I just need to know that you’re not walking away from the idea of us completely.” His expression softened, sending my already spiraling emotions tumbling into full on crying now. “I like whatever this is.” The corner of his mouth lifted into the sweetest grin. “Even if it’s a little messy right now.”
A watery laugh escaped me as I nodded and used the back of my hand to wipe away another tear. “Messy feels like an understatement.”
Zane held my gaze for a second longer and then shifted to stand, but as he moved to rise, he paused halfway, bracing his hands against the comforter on either side of me before leaningin to press a gentle kiss to my forehead. I almost started crying again.
“Let’s get you tucked into bed,” he murmured, pulling away now to draw the comforter back. “I think we left Cluck Norris in my truck, so while you change, I’ll go grab him to keep you company?—”
My fingers wrapped around his wrist before he could step away. “I don’t…want…Cluck Norris,” I said, barely hearing the words over the pounding of my heart. “But I don’t really want to be alone, either.”
Heat bloomed in my cheeks the second the words left my mouth, but I didn’t take them back. I meant them, even if I wasn’t quite sure how to say the rest. Zane’s eyes searched mine for a long moment, reading me like he was trying to fill in the blanks for all the parts I’d left out.
Slowly, I stood from the bed, still holding his gaze as I gently sat his hat on the nightstand, and wordlessly lifted my arms over my head. He paused, just long enough to understand what I was asking, then gently brushed his hands against my sides as he gathered the hem of my shirt. With reverent hands, he helped me out of it, keeping his eyes on mine the entire time before reaching for the oversized tee draped across the hope chest at the end of the bed. I kept my arms lifted and let him dress me like we’d done this before, his fingers brushing the bare skin of my arms as he guided the shirt over my head, and I felt that toucheverywhereas my body broke out in goosebumps.
When the cotton settled around my thighs, I reached out, returning the gesture as I rid him of his blue snap shirt before lazily lifting the hem of his white undershirt. He let out the barest breath of a laugh, making me laugh, too, at my struggle with his height as he ducked his head so I could pull the fabric over. We took turns then, in silence, helping each other out of jeans and socks. And when we finally crawled beneath thecovers, I nestled against him. His arms came around me without hesitation, and he tucked his chin against my hair.
My heart was still thundering away inside my chest. Not from fear, but from the intimacy of trust we’d stepped into together. It made me want to trust him more.
I stared into the dark, drawing in a slow breath. “This shouldn’t make sense, but it does,” I whispered. “You feel like…like something I lost a long time ago.” I pressed my face into his chest, inhaling his scent that I was quickly becoming addicted to. “Heath took everything from me.” The words were rough and uneven as they left my mouth.
Zane's chest lifted as he breathed in, then out—slow and careful like he didn’t want to break the moment. His fingers stroked against my spine, up and down.
“But you…” My tongue dragged over my teeth in a slow, thoughtful sweep as I tried to keep my voice from cracking. “You’re giving it all back. And I just…” I sniffed and snuggled closer to him, shamelessly soaking in the comfort I found there in his arms. “Thank you.”
Zane didn’t answer me with words. He just held me a little tighter, the rhythm of his fingers against my back slowing until they simply rested there. His lips brushed the top of my hair in a soft, lingering kiss.
And as my eyes fluttered closed, one quiet thought settled: I never meant to make a home here…but maybe home had found me.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Zane
Morning eased in slow—itssoft light creeping across the floor and climbing the bed, inching toward our tangled limbs that I had no intention of untangling anytime soon. I couldn’t. Not when Andi was curled into me like I was the only thing holding her together.
Hell, maybe I was.
She’d felt…restlessagainst me last night. Not in a tossing-and-turning way, but subtler. A sudden twitch in her shoulders. The uneven rhythm of her breaths. The way her hand kept moving, like it was searching for something. Me? But it was those full-body shivers that really did me in, because whatever it was that chased her in her sleep was enough to make her flinch hard enough to shake the damn bed. Maybe she was reliving the fireworks or—fuck, I didn’t even want to think it—reliving something else. SomethingHeathhad tormented her with.
Heath.
The bastard had a name now.
Hearing her whisper it in the dark hit me like an arrow to the heart, because it made him real. Not just some faceless nightmare that haunted her, but a man who’d violated her and broken her in ways I, myself, couldn’t imagine doing to anotherhuman being, let alone one I cared about. I hated him—hated him for everything he’d stolen from her. Every ounce of trust. Every shred of safety. But as we lay there, with her cheek on my chest and my entire arm going numb beneath the soft weight of her, the part of me that wanted to tear him apart and make him pay for every scar he’d left behind immediately turned into something else: this quiet, undeniable awe that she’d trusted me enough to give his name.
It damn near split me open.
She hadn’t gone into details, hadn’t had to. The name alone was enough because she’dfinallylet me in and handed me a part of her that had been locked up tight since our paths crossed weeks ago. And I wasn’t about to let anything, not even the part of me that wanted to obliterate Heath, take that from her.
