“You weren’t stupid for loving the way you did. He just never deserved that type of love.”
Call me a hater or whatever the newest equivalent to the word is, but I was telling the truth. Drew never deserved Ella. A part of me knew it the first day he asked for her number. I should have intervened then, but at the time I didn’t think I deserved her either.
She laughs, but it isn’t humorous. “So much time wasted loving a man I should’ve let go a long time ago. How do you recover from that?” Although she asks the question I knew she didn’t want me to answer it.
“I feel like I’ve given the best years of my life to the wrong person and now all I have is this.” She rakes a hand down her body as if she’s nothing.
I grab her hand and place a kiss on the back of it. “Don’t do that. Don’t act like you have nothing to offer. Yeah, Drew got your youth. But there is something special about being a woman who knows who she is. And so what your body has changed. So has your mind. You’re a brilliant, loving, talented, and independent woman. You’re not the gullible teenage girl he married. With your age has come wisdom and life experiences that make you unique. I’ll take that and this body...” I dip my forehead toward her. “...over your youth any day.”
The smile that spreads over her face makes my chest expand. Anytime I make her smile makes me feel like a fucking king.
“How do you always know the right thing to say?”
I chuckle, letting her hand go. “I just tell the truth.”
For another hour, Ella and I sat on those swings and talked. There is never a lull in our conversation. We talked about everything from our past, our fears, and even the boys. By the time I glance at my watch, the parking lot across the street is empty. All the vendors have packed up and left for the day. The only light around us is the glow from the moon and the streetlights.
“So why didn’t you open up your bakery?” I ask.
We were talking about how things had changed for us after college. I remember having conversations with her back then about her bakery and what she wanted to do.
She lifts her shoulders and drops them. “At first, I realized I needed a job. I had a baby at home and a husband in lawschool. We needed money, and I didn’t have time to nurture a business. So I took my business degree and started applying for jobs. Being a medical receptionist put food on the table and kept the lights on.” She looks down as she drags the toe of her shoe through the woodchips beneath us.
“When Andrew finally graduated and got hired on at Walter, Payton, and Walter, we were better financially, but it was still too much of a risk."
“Yeah, but we both know after about three years, Andrew was making more than enough money for you to quit your job and open your bakery.”
She sighs before looking up at me. “He didn’t think it was a smart investment. Even though I had some money left over from my grandmother’s life insurance, it wasn’t enough to open a business. I would have needed his help financially to get it started, but he wasn’t on board.”
“He wouldn’t invest in your dreams?”
She shrugs. “No. I mean, the boys were still young and, you know, they needed me more. So I understood. After a while, the dream just died. But I’m happy now. I get to make my cakes for people, and I get paid for it. I guess that's as close to a bakery as I’m going to get.”
There was so much I wanted to say on this topic. I didn’t like that she was giving up on a dream. I didn’t like that she was settling for a version of what she truly wanted. However, I wouldn’t bring those things up now. I was putting a pin in this conversation.
Suddenly, a loud crack echoed through the night, and the sky lit up.
“Oh, shit,” I shout.
We both jumped up from the swings. As soon as we do, the sky opens up and icy rain pelts down on us.
“Ahhh,” Ella screamed, holding her hands over her head.
I grabbed her hand, and we ran to the truck. Even though it’s pouring, I open her door for her and let her in first before going around to the driver's side and climbing in. As soon as I shut the door, I turn to her. We both burst out laughing. I lean my head back against the headrest.
“I had no idea it was supposed to rain today.”
Shaking my head, I say. “Me neither.”
“My hair is soaked. My roots are going to swell.” She laughs.
I reach into my back seat and grab my gym bag off the seat. Inside is a white towel I used to stay dry at the gym. It’s clean, so I hand it to her. Ella wipes at her face, drying the rain. She then runs it over her hair. My shirt is soaked through, so I pull it up over my head and toss it into the back. I then pull another one out of my gym bag. Before I slip it on, I look over and find Ella staring at my chest, her mouth open and the towel that was supposed to be soaking up water, forgotten in her hand.
“You see something you want, El?”
Her face flushes and she quickly tuns and looks out the window.
“Sorry,” she mumbles.
