“Yes, you know the rules,” I say in reply to his earlier question.
Andrew and I have been in a good place for a while. It took us a long time to get here. I wasn’t interested in stirring the pot again.
“Why don’t you want to go?” I stop folding the laundry at my feet and give him my full attention. Although the custody agreement is court-ordered, if I found out something was endangering my boys, I’d call it off.
AJ shrugs. “He never really does anything with us anymore. Usually, we’re entertaining ourselves while he goes out.”
I’m not upset about Andrew going out while the kids are there. AJ is mature and old enough to watch over his brother. I do have a problem with him not spending time with the boys, though. That’s the entire purpose of his weekends.
“Have you talked to your dad about this?”
“No. I don’t really talk to him at all.”
I huff. “AJ, your therapist and I both told you to stop holding in your emotions. You need to express how you feel to your father. You know, when you hold it in, it comes out eventually.” Usually in an angry outburst.
I go back to my basket of laundry.
“Since we’re on the subject of talking more,” he says. “When are you going to date?”
I swing my head around to him, forgetting the shirt in my hand. This topic has come out of nowhere. I’m starting to think he and his grandma are in cahoots.
“This seems random. Why are you worried about me dating?”
He shrugs, the favorite body movement of a teenager. “I think Dad is dating. I heard him talking to some woman on the phone.”
My breath comes out in a rush. Certain things still hurt. Even though Andrew and I are no longer together, I still had lingering feelings for him. Not saying I want him back, but I guess it’s the reminder that what we had was truly over.
I shouldn’t be shocked he’s dating. He’s a handsome, successful lawyer. That draws women’s attention like blood in a shark tank. Plus, he didn’t carry two children. His dating status reminds me of how much harder it will be for me.
“Your father is a single man, and he’s free to date whoever he wants.” That felt like acid spilling out of my mouth. “And when I’m ready, I’ll start dating too. But you boys are my main priority.”
AJ stares at me for a long moment, saying nothing. Finally, he speaks again.
“You sure you’re okay with this?”
Once again, I’m reminded of those horrible six months after the announcement. I really screwed my boys up. Even now, AJ feels as if he has to coddle my feelings like I’m the child.
I plaster a smile on my face, showing strength that I don’t necessarily feel. “Absolutely. I’m fine.”
Once again, he pauses before speaking. “Good, because Malik and I have been talking.”
I scoff at the mention of my son’s best friend. The kid is well-known for his crazy ideas.
“Malik said his mom goes out on dates all the time.”
I bet she does. The woman is gorgeous. She had Malik young, and he’s the only child she has. She’s built like an Instagram model with her delicate features. I bet that woman has to fight men off with a stick.
“Okay,” I encourage him to continue.
“He said it’s not normal for you to not go on dates and that maybe if you dressed up a little, more men would ask you out.”
That little asshole. Instead of calling up the little brat and cursing him out, I exhale and try to focus on my son.
“And what do you think?”
“Well, I think you’re beautiful the way you are.” Before I could smile or say thank you, he continues. “But I don’t want you to be lonely. So maybe you can put on some makeup the next time you and the book club go out?” From the mouths of babes.
I guess I have been frumpy lately. Even the girls from the book club have said this. But most of my free time is spent with Mitch trying to do repairs on this house. And if I’m not working on the house, I’m at work or baking something for someone. My son is right, I don’t really put thought into being pretty. I’ve just been surviving.
