It had been so long since I’d become aware during a shift, that I’d retained my sense of self while the animal took control. Usually, by the time I returned to myself, I was already back to being human, with only fragmented memories to keep me company.
I hadn’t needed to think about shifting back in a long, long time, not since I was a kid. I remained motionless, processing. I didn’t remember what to do.
A memory floated through my mind, one of Brooke running through the forest as her bobcat, a shared dream. Shifting came so easy to her she barely thought about it. She only had to remember what her human body felt like, that she desired to return to that form. I tried to do the same. Nothing happened. I panicked, thinking I would remain a bear forever.
Brooke’s groan of pain echoed toward me.
My mate needs me.The thought brought my focus to a pinpoint. Concentrating, I thought of my human form, that I needed to help Brooke, that I needed my hands to do that. Slowly, my bones shifted, my fur receded, my body became like sand through a funnel, one granule changing at a time. Then I stood naked beside the vehicle, panting from both exertion and shock. I’d shifted on my own, with my mind intact.
My hands shook as I stooped and picked up the remote. Straightening, I turned it off, then hit the release button.
Brooke gasped and I rushed to her side. She tore the collar away from her neck and threw it on the ground. Kneeling in the gravel, I gathered her to me, needing her close. I couldn’t hold her tight enough.
She burrowed her face into my throat, her fingers clutching at my shoulders, her entire body shaking. “This was my fault,” she said, her teeth chattering as she dug her fingers into my skin. “I called my mom. I checked my messages. They must have found me that way.”
I shook my head and held her close. They wouldn’t have found her that fast from tracking a phone call. They were already here, waiting. This town was the gateway to the north. They’d known she would have to come through eventually if she’d survived. I was an idiot to have left her alone. I’d failed her.
As I stroked her spine, my eyes went to the wreckage of the car. I’d ripped it apart, flung the door several feet away. I’d done that and barely remembered.
I was a danger to her. I’d known, but this reinforced it. At some point, I would harm her accidentally. There didn’t seem a way to avoid it.
I cared for her too much to do that.
Despair clawing through me, I squeezed her to my chest and stood. Then kicking both the remote and the collar into the muskeg in the ditch where they wouldn’t be found, I started back to town with Brooke in my arms.
29
BROOKE
If I didn’t know better,I could have sworn I felt Kane’s guilt like it was my own. We lay in our bed at the motel, safe, but he would not let go of his remorse for what happened.
We hadn’t made it far from the where he’d flipped the vehicle over when a group of indigenous teenagers blasting rap music in a Ford Explorer pulled up beside us asking if we needed help. They might have wondered why Kane was butt naked, but they didn’t ask as they gave him a blanket to wrap around his body and helped him find his wallet down the road. The town was small enough that they knew John Clark, and the teens gave us a ride to his place. Kane sat in the front passenger seat with me in his lap. All the rest of the teens had piled into the back except for the driver.
Once at John’s, Kane dressed in clean clothes from his duffel bag. I could sense his internal turmoil and thought he still wanted to go after those cougars, but his need to take care of me must have outweighed the blood lust.
So I allowed him to take care of me.
Alone at the motel, he bathed me. He fed me. Warm under the covers, he cradled me in his arms, his hands roaming over my body like he kept reaffirming I was well.
“It’s okay,” I said again, for the millionth time. “It’s okay.”
He buried his face in the curve of my throat, his beard tickling my skin, his arms tight around me.
We stayed that way until morning.
John’s efforts of finding us a way to Vancouver off the books proved to be successful. He knew a guy with a bigger plane in a city south of us, and he’d arranged for him to fly up north the next day.
We had a day to kill in town before then.
Kane wouldn’t let me out of his sight. Usually, that kind of possessive behavior would have grated on my nerves, but after the cougar incident, Kane’s constant presence calmed me. We returned to the clothing store. There was relief on the woman’s face when her eyes landed on me. Someone had found my new bag on the street and popped into the store to ask her if she knew who it belonged to. I was glad to have it back.
I was finally able to get that trip to the pharmacy, buying flip flops, deodorant, a hairbrush, toothpaste, and other essentials. The rest of the day was dedicated to making arrangements to get to Vancouver. Kane booked a hotel online using John’s laptop.
Sitting in a restaurant on main street with a view of the lake, I dipped another fry in ketchup. “Why don’t we call your cousin? We could ask our questions now and get a lead on my sister sooner. Or at least we could make sure he’s in Vancouver.”
His eyebrows twitched. I knew he’d already made sure his cousin was in the city. I thought Kane maybe didn’t want to give Landon a head start if he was in charge of the mercenaries after me and knew Kane was coming. He didn’t want his cousin to go underground. The guy was rich enough to do just that. We needed our questions answered, not to go on a cousin-hunting expedition.
When Kane shook his head, I took a bite of my fry, but my appetite had fled.
