We find an empty table and sit down. I see Hawkins eating alone nearby, but I don’t invite him to sit with us. I’m still traumatized by the one time I mistook him for a friend.
We eat our dinner, keeping to ourselves. The chatter in the room picks up again, though I’m sure most people are talking aboutus.The inciter and the Silver Block lieutenant. We’re the opening act tonight.
I can’t hide my surprise when Gray strides up to us and settles in the chair beside mine. “Hey.” His gaze shifts to Xavier. “Ford,” he says carefully.
“Fuck you.”
“Xavier.” I stifle a sigh.
Xavier glowers at me. “He killed Tyler.”
“What about you?” Gray counters. “How many of my people have you killed?”
That shuts Xavier up. Meanwhile, the whispers all around us don’t let up. I also see plenty of silver veins as some people opt to plot our deaths via telepathy.
“You should probably eat with the others,” I warn Gray, nodding toward the table where his friends are eyeing him with displeasure. “You’re not doing yourself any favors right now.”
“Nah, I think it’s probably safer for everyone if I sit here today.”
“Did the Authority ask you to?”
“No, it’s common sense.”
“Gray,” a tight voice says, and then Karra stands over him, her black hair hanging off one shoulder and her eyes shooting daggers at him. “Don’t be an idiot.”
He arches a brow at her, but he looks more amused than offended at being called an idiot. “Don’t make it a thing, KC.”
Her angry gaze flicks in my direction before refocusing on him. “What, did she incite you again?”
My shoulders snap into a straight line. I’m about to demand what the hell she means by that, but she’s already stalking off. Xavier makes no effort to hide that he’s checking out her ass.
“You banging that girl, Sutler?” he asks Gray.
“Blake,” I correct absently. My uneasy gaze finds Gray’s. “What did she mean by that?”
There’s a quick flash of…something in his eyes. Regret, maybe. “Evlynne thinks you incited the Authority to release Ford.”
Unhappiness constricts my chest. “I didn’t do that.”
“I know you didn’t. You weren’t even in the room when we voted. But…” He shrugs. “You know how rumors are.”
Tears burn my eyes, and I lower my gaze to my dinner plate, refusing to reveal how much that hurts.
“Well,” Xavier remarks. “This is fun.”
Later, Xavier snores in his bed, a soft, steady rumble, and I lie in mine, staring at the ceiling.
The snoring isn’t what keeps me up. I’m thinking about Cross, and all the times I longed for him to be here with me. But today I saw how hated Xavier is on this base. How much they resent his presence. I can’t even imagine what kind of reception the son of General Merrick Redden would receive. Or howI’dbe received if they found out I’m in love with him.
Even if they knew he was a Mod?
I want to banish the thought, but it lingers. If they knew…That would go a long way in earning their trust and building some goodwill with the Uprising. They might accuse him of being a loyalist Mod, but better that than a Company Prime. Cross could tell them all the ways he tried to protect Mods while he served in Silver Block, all the lives he’d managed to save when his father wanted them snuffed out.
But that would require him to leave the city. Abandon his mother. Make a real choice. And he’s unwilling to do that.
I ignore the sensation in my throat, the growing lump, because it feels a lot like resentment, and I don’t want to resent Cross. I love him. I can’t blame him for not wanting to side with the Uprising, and even if his Mod statuscouldhelp his case, Cross doesn’t want anyone to know, and I’d never betray his confidence.
Eventually, I give up on sleep. I pull on a pair of leggings and a thick wool cardigan that I suspect belonged to Gray, because it still holds a faint hint of citrus.
