“Clenching my fists. Hawkins said I should relax, but the tensing just happens naturally.”
“Because you’ve never trained in this before.” He shakes his head in disapproval. “Julian really should have disclosed. We could’ve helped you figure this out a long time ago.”
No, I don’t blame Uncle Jim for not saying anything. He was protecting me, and I’m glad for it.
Gray’s comm dings again.
“Your girlfriend’s pissed,” I say, amused.
He checks the screen, then grins. “No. She just wants to fuck.”
I stand corrected.
“You can tell her we’re done,” I say, sliding off the couch. “It’s late, and I think I’m too tired to concentrate properly.”
I’m almost at the door when Gray says, “So he’s your man, huh?”
I glance over. “Who?”
“The captain. You told Henley you had a man.”
He never calls him Cross, though I suppose he wouldn’t. On the Command base, we all referred to him as captain or sir.
I’m not sure how to answer—how hewantsme to answer—so I say nothing. The mention of Cross elicits a rush of longing, however. I would give anything to see him right now. To make sure he’s actually okay and wasn’t feeding me a load of bullshit about what his brothers did to him. What they mightstillbe doing to him. But there’s nothing I can do when I’m in the mountains and he’s in the city and—
A thought suddenly occurs to me.
“You flew Adrienne into the city this week.”
Gray blinks at the change of subject. “She was on Authority business. She needed an escort.”
I draw a slow, hesitant breath. “What ifIneed an escort?”
“Exactly what are you asking me for, cowgirl?”
The breath comes out in a rush. “Will you take me to see Cross?”
Chapter 15
There isn’t a single star in the sky.
Is that normal? I feel like there should at least beone.Instead, we’re in a black hole. A murky empty void that stretches endlessly in all directions.
It took me three days to convince Gray to do this for me, and now that it’s happening, part of me wishes we were back at the Dagger. I told him that I was able to send Cross a message through a Sanctum Point acquaintance, a Mod who’s involved with a Command soldier. I assume Gray believed me, because he didn’t jump up in accusation and demand to know whether Cross Redden is Modified. Still, I can tell he’s not happy with the request.
I glance toward the pilot’s seat. “Are you sure you won’t get in trouble for this?”
“Already told you, I had some business in the city anyway. I told the others you were tagging along because you had a friend in the city you urgently needed to see.” Catching my wariness, he rolls his eyes. “Don’t worry, I didn’t say which friend.” He pauses. “They won’t be happy to hear you’re consorting with the enemy.”
“He’s not—” I stop.The enemy,I almost said. But in the Uprising’s eyes, there is no greater villain than someone with the surnameRedden.“All bad,” I finish awkwardly. “I know you’re judging me for this—”
“I’m not,” Gray interjects, and when I turn in surprise, he appears sincere. “I’ve gone undercover in the wards enough times to see how it fucks with your head.”
“What do you mean?”
“The Primes. The loyalist Mods. You want to view them as evil, as irredeemable. But sometimes they show you sides of themselves that make it hard to hold on to that view.”
I lean over to squeeze his arm. “Thank you for taking me.”
