Although the question startles her, her expression doesn’t change.
“I saw her. Vinessa Redden,” I clarify. “When I went to the General’s mansion with Captain Redden. He tried to convince me she was schizophrenic, but it was clearly something else. At first, I thought she was a fragmented Mod, but that didn’t feel right, either.” I lift my chin in challenge. “Was that you?”
“Yes.” She doesn’t even try to deny it.
I feel sick. Cross stayed behind to make sure his mother was taken care of, and now I’m finding out Adrienne is the reason Vinessa is incapacitated?
“Don’t look at me like that,” she says with a harsh laugh. “We’re at war, Darlington. Sacrificing a mind or two is a necessary cost.”
“You literally just said you don’t agree with corrupting innocent civilians.”
She’s unmoved by my reproach. “The General’s wife was targeted because of exactly that: She was the General’s wife. Our objective is to destabilize the current regime. That requires hard decisions. Picking strategic targets.”
“It took many years before she was fully corrupted, though,” I say warily. “Captain Redden told me it started off like symptoms of schizophrenia and lasted years.”
“I was only eighteen. I hadn’t perfected the process yet.” Noting my face, Adrienne rolls her eyes. “You incited a woman to kill herself, Wren. How is that any better than what I did to the General’s wife?”
My throat constricts.
“When you incited Valence, you did what you needed to do to survive. That’s what we’re all doing. That’s our goal: survival. So we can sit here judging each other for our actions, or we can fight a war against the people that want to destroy us.”
“Not all of them want to destroy us,” I protest, but it sounds weak to my ears.
“Most do,” she says. “That was Merrick Redden’s intention. To dehumanize us in the eyes of his Primes. All those soldiers, the pilots, the ground troops who wiped out Valterra Ridge—they didn’t view the Mods there aspeople.”
I know she’s right. The General’s tactics were always transparent to me. Dehumanize in order to eradicate. Because if you don’t view your enemy as a human being, then why should you care if they die?
But not everyone agreed with Cross’s father.
“A lot of them do see us,” I argue. “People like Griff, my friend Tana’s father. Or the network’s other Prime allies. They don’t want all of us dead.”
“And if we can protect those people, we will. Mitigating casualties and collateral damage is a priority for me. But I also recognize it might not be possible to save everyone. That’s just the way our world works, and we don’t have the luxury of debating what’s right and wrong when our survival is at stake. If you’re going to stay here, you need to think about what you’re willing to do and how far you’re willing to go.” Adrienne lifts a brow in challenge. “So tell me, Darlington, are you willing to fight this war with me?”
Chapter 7
Gray is gone the rest of the day on transport flights to this mysterious valley everybody keeps talking about, and since I don’t feel confident enough to explore the Dagger on my own, I retreat to my quarters.
I’ve been given a room three doors down from his apartment, where I find a silver comm on the night table, a neat pile of clothes on the bed, and some toiletries in the small private bath. I take a quick shower and change into a fresh pair of leggings and a T-shirt that both smell like laundry detergent. Then I stretch out on the single bed and set up my new comm while Adrienne’s question continues to gnaw at me.
Am I willing to fight this war with her?
I suppose I’ve already agreed to it by virtue of being here, but that doesn’t mean I’m ready to shoot down every single Prime who crosses my path.
My parents had no qualms about collateral damage. They didn’t care how many civilians were caught in the crossfire so long as they exacted the Company’s agenda. They decided they could live with that cost, but…I don’t know ifIcan. The lines blurred for me when I was in the Command. I started to view some of the people there asfriends. It screwed with my head, and as much as I want to fight alongside Adrienne and the Uprising, I’m afraid I won’t have the stomach to go to their lengths.
I’m afraid they’ll find out about my parents, and I’ll never get the chance to prove myself.
I’m afraid for Cross, alone in the city without any real allies.
I’m just…afraid. And I fucking hate feeling this way.
The device in my hand buzzes to indicate it’s finished uploading, rescuing me from my turbulent thoughts. My thumbprint is required to restart it, and a moment later I have a working comm with a cheerful greeting message:
WELCOME, WREN DARLINGTON.
I scroll through the device, finding a message center, digital library, and practical applications like a camera, torch, compass, and navigation screens. I notice there’s no access to Nexus, the Continent’s online network, which isn’t a surprise, but I do find the Uprising’s version of it, an application labeledSpiderthat seems to operate via satellite signal.
I’m scrolling through the digital library for something to read when Kallister pokes my mind.
