She had changed out of her clothes from earlier and looked fresh out of the shower. And even though she had almost lost her life, Giancarlo couldn't remember seeing her more beautiful, courageous, and at peace...despite the sadness in her eyes.
"May I come in?" he heard himself ask.
She nodded and stepped back, and Giancarlo closed the door behind him. But when he turned to face her again, it seemed as if she already knew why he had come.
"You've come to say goodbye...haven't you?"
Her voice was quiet and strained.
Giancarlo's jaw clenched. "You know I have to—-"
"Don't lie," Sarica rejected fiercely. "Just don't. No one is forcing you to leave. No one is asking you to. No onewantsyou to—-"
"I can't be the head of ourfamiglia—-"
"Because of your limp?" Sarica challenged tremulously.
"Yes!"
"Can you hear yourself, Giancarlo? Can you, really? Wouldn't that also mean we only wanted you as our leader because you can walk a straight line—-"
"Don't twist my words, Sarica. Youknowwhat I mean. I couldn't even save you, Sarica. I promised to save you. Just like I promised and failed my own father and grandfather—-"
"Why do you keep blaming yourself whenever bad things happen?" Sarica choked out. "Don't we know better by now?Shouldn'twe know better? It's not your job to save everyone—-"
"I just wanted to save you," he said bitterly, "and I couldn't even do it—-"
"Because you weren't meant to save me," Sarica cried out, "and I wasn't meant to save myself!" Frustration colored her words. "You know the truth, Giancarlo. You were the one who helped me see this, remember?"
All Giancarlo did was stare at her, and Sarica could feel her heart start to break when she realized she wasn't reaching him at all.
"You're not God, Giancarlo," Sarica whispered. "So stop trying to do the impossible. Stop trying to c-carry everyone's b-burdens on your shoulders. All you're supposed to do is l-love me.Love me,Giancarlo. Just l-love me—-"
But the man in front of her seemed to be made of unyielding stone, unable to hear a single word she was saying.
"Please, Giancarlo."
"I'm sorry."
Her heart shattered anew at the finality of his voice, and she couldn't stop herself from stumbling forward as she clutched his shirt to keep him from leaving. "P-Please—-"
But her words continued to fall on deaf ears as Giancarlo pulled away from her hold.
"I can't bear having another death on my conscience, Sarica. I'm sorry."
The last thing Giancarlo saw was Sarica falling to her knees as he forced himself to walk away.
He tried to convince himself that this was the last time he would have anything to do with his old life...only to find himself face to face with his grandmother, whose expression made clear she had heard every word.
"Oh,bambino." Potenziana's voice shook. "Are you going to walk away from us, too? Do you really think we will only want you back if you are capable of protecting us? We love you, Giancarlo. That is why we want you back. And we all m-missed you s-so much."
It was his first time hearing his grandmother's voice crack, and Giancarlo could not have stopped himself from pulling her into his arms no more than he could stop himself from breathing.
"You are one of us,bambino," she whispered against his chest. "Always are, always will be."
Chapter Thirteen
NIGHT HAD FALLEN OVERKivr, painting the desert kingdom in shades of indigo and silver. From the penthouse windows, the city's lights mimicked the sea of stars above, but the emptiness in his heart made him blind to its splendor.
