The earliest were when he was around seven or eight. Isn’t that a bit strange? Plus, she must have given birth to them really close together.
I’m thirty.
Ah, I see. So it’s the age thing that’s the issue?
I so wish I could say it’s just the age.
It’s so much more, though.
Also, he’s Aileen’s brother, who considers me a friend as well. Does this mean I broke some kind of code by sleeping with Levi?
My anxiety grows the closer we get home and it confuses my mind, making every breath I take heavy and difficult while various images swirl in my head, each sadder than the other, where I inevitably end up alone with everyone turning their backs on me.
It wouldn’t be the first time, but I can’t survive that again.
I’m not strong enough for it.
So you seduced a twenty-year-old guy and feel ashamed?
I didn’t seduce him. I wouldn’t know how to seduce anyone. I was a virgin.
Okay, I so did not mean to write that.
And he was one as well?
No. He has a very colorful past. He got around a lot.
Dead silence follows, and I bite my lip, wondering if I shared too much with Lev, who never signed up to listen to me vent.
Maybe he considers me a perv now too.
What’s really the issue, then?
What do you mean?
He’s an experienced adult who, I assume, has engaged in consensual physical activity with you. In fact, it sounds as if you were the one being seduced. So, as long as you’re both single and willing, what’s the issue?
What do you mean, what’s the issue? He’s twenty! People would say I corrupted his mind and blame me.
A thirty-year-old virgin corrupted his mind? You’re funny.
I can almost hear the mocking in his tone, pulling at the strings of my mind, finding familiarity in it, yet I can’t connect the dots to make sense of it.
And he’s right.
Levi lives a far richer and wicked life at twenty than I do at thirty, and if we were to compare life experiences, he has way more than I do.
Not that it excuses me from lusting after a younger man.
I wonder if my brothers had the same issues when they fell in love with women half their age, or am I the only one who feels guilty?
If we forget about the age, he’s still technically family. If anyone finds out, we’ll both be in trouble.
Why does it matter?
What?
Why does it matter if your family will have a problem with that? Have they asked your opinion regarding their private lives?
