My heart flips inside my chest, warmth spreading into every cell in my body while butterflies erupt in my stomach at his words.
I’m so afraid and guarded when the man in question never did anything to hurt me sans that disastrous engagement party.
Would it be so bad to accept it for what it is and just take the leap?
We have a secret affair, remember?
And if you remember, I said you can call it whatever you wish as long as you understand that you’re mine.
You are never going to give up, are you?
Be still my heart. I think we’re finally making some progress.
Laughter spills from me, and pressing the phone to my chest, I come to two conclusions at once.
I have no idea what relationships are like as Levi is my first everything. So far, it’s pretty hot, fun, and lets me uncover new sides of myself.
Why should I hide away from the world?
Granted, I’d still prefer for my brothers to find out after Rush’s wedding to avoid any drama, but it’s just a month away.
Phoenix is right. No one can give me guarantees, and maybe chasing them is what brings me unhappiness, as I’m not truly living. Instead, I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Thirty years of never-ending fear and suffering, and I deserve more.
I owe it to my young self, who sacrificed everything to save herself and survived to be happy and brave.
Teenage Lavender didn’t suffer so I could endure.
She suffered so I could thrive, and thrive I shall.
“Where to?”
“Levi’s home.”
Gordon smiles, starts the engine, and joins the cars on the road.
The perks of having staff who likes you are that your secrets are safe with them, and my driver proved his loyalty when he never said a word to my brothers.
Granted, I haven’t gone to Levi’s mansion since that first time, preferring to meet up in the city to avoid stumbling into his family. I know he’s there now, working on something.
At least that’s what he implied.
I never sought him out myself. He initiated all our encounters and planned everything.
So this is me making a bold move.
“You’re doing the right thing, Lavender.” Gordon stops at a traffic light and looks over his shoulder at me. “Levi is a good choice. He might be young, but there is wisdom in him that is hard to find.”
At this moment, I realize that while his approval is nice, I don’t need it, and it doesn’t matter what my brothers might think either.
Levi doesn’t have to be a good choice for anyone but me.
And if all this works for me, why should I care about anyone else?
* * *
Gordon passes by the security guard, who opens the gates for us, and it takes us less than a minute to park by the house.
