I grimace. Sergio Amato was an abusive asshole who only didn’t kill Cristian because it would have caused too many issues with those loyal to Cris’s parents. And Georgio De Luca was…well, he gave his teenage son to the son who should have been institutionalized, so the bar really isn’t that high to begin with.
The problem is, until Allesandro took over, we didn’t know much about the Martellis—his father burned that many bridges in his lifetime. So, whatever Allesandro endured…he did it alone, with only that dumb fuck Luca to pick up the pieces. It’s a miracle he’s alive at all with that asshole watching his back.
“I’m not saying forgive him,” I tell Hollis. “I’m not saying I expect you to all of a sudden become comfortable with him overnight because of all this, but…you can’t touch him, Hol.”
He glares, his mouth tightening into a thin line, before he finally sighs. “I wasn’t planning on it. Am I unhappy he touched you without my permission? Yes, but…at this point, I think it’s safe to say the Martellis are fair game.”
I snort. “I don’t plan on sticking my dick in any more of them.”
He raises a brow. “No? Not even when you and Ignacio are done with your dick measuring bullshit?”
I give him a blank look, but he’s immune to my charms.
“Anyway. No…it’s like when Roman kissed you that first time. I don’t feel the need to assert myself because I knew, when you told me you Daddied him, that you felt something deeper for him. It’s hard for me to wrap my head around, but that’s because of whattheydid to me. I’ll admit that. It burns. I want to… Fuck, I can’t believe I’m saying this out loud, but these past months, I’ve wanted nothing more than to cut myself open and bleed out all the pain.
“Everything from Cristian and Allesandro getting kidnapped to Roman getting hurt, and us being so close to losing him if that chandelier had hit him in just the right place…” Hollis sucks in a breath. “Hurting myself that night at the Martelli mansion was the first time in a long time that I felt like myself. It only spiraled from there, Ten. So, no, I don’t fucking understand where you’re coming from with Allesandro because it fucking hurts. It hurts so much. I don’t…”
I take a step towards him and he steps back, holding up a hand to ward me off.
“I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing. I agreed to meds because we both know I haven’t been okay for years. I even agreed to stupid therapy because I know the medication isn’t a magic fix. But talking about this shit? I don’t know if I’m strong enough. Emilio sees me as his Angel. You, Roman, and Jude see me as some pillar of strength, but that’s not me. And I don’t know how you can do this with Allesandro because I don’t get him.”
“You don’t have to, Tesoro. I promise, I’m still just as cautious as you are with him. But…I do believe him when he says he wants to be more. He broke himself open for me today, and it was beautiful. Watching it on the cameras is different from seeing it, feeling it, in person.
“You don’t have to forgive him for what he did to our Little Monster. Hell, I’m still pissed as hell over that, but…as I was reminded yesterday, this Council is bringing in a new era, and that means giving him a chance when we otherwise wouldn’t.
“We Amatos already have a reputation for forgiving when we shouldn’t, after the Carter/Cristian thing. The Martellis do as well. This is a new slate for us all, a new beginning.
“You don’t have to like him, but you will respect his place in Lio’s life, and in mine. I won’t force you, Hol. But I am asking you to trust me. I know you’re only worried for me and Lio, butthis,” I gesture between the two of us, “has only ever worked because of the way we trust one another.”
Hollis sighs before finally saying, “Because I trust you, and Emilio. That is the only way I can ever be okay with this… Maybe he’ll earn my trust, my understanding. From one survivor to another. For now… I am not taking a knife to his flesh because I love your dumbass too much to hurt you—same reason fucking Benjamin is still alive.” He gives me a look. “You need to stop this habit of collecting broken things.”
I laugh a little. “But then I wouldn’t have you.”
He scoffs. “You’re such a dick.”
“I’ve never pretended not to be.” I watch him for a moment, studying the way he takes a deep breath, how he holds onto his wrist for a little longer before finally pulling his hand away. “Okay, Tesoro?”
“Yeah. I’m fine. Your new Boy is, too. I’ll…try, okay?”
“That’s all I ask. I know things won’t be resolved overnight. His actions caused a lot of damage, but I believe he realizes that, and is working on rectifying his fuck-ups.”
Hollis nods once. “I told Lio this would be a hard road, but one I supported him in; you have the same support, Ten.”
I smile at him. “I never doubted it.”
He shakes his head and walks back over to me. “Tutto ciò che sei mi appartiene. Anche il tuo nuovoPiccolo.”
I snort and reach for him, pulling him flush against me. “I think you’re picking up bad habits from Leandro,” I mutter, dipping my head and kissing him lightly.
“Where do you think he learned them from?” Hollis bites my bottom lip until we’re sharing blood along with saliva as we kiss.
While I know this isn’t going to be easy—especially with Hollis’s past nipping at his heels and the impending therapy sessions he’s been avoiding—he all but gave his blessing for me to take Allesandro under my wing. The two of them probablyneed to be thrown into a room together to hash things out, but for now, it’s all I can ask for that Hollis understands how much this means to me.
Maybe he’s right. Maybe I enjoy fixing what others have thrown away, but only because no one ever did that for me. Cristian molded me into what he wanted me to be, while I encourage Hollis, Benjamin, Roman, and now Allesandro to be the best versions of themselves. For me, and themselves.
Because we’re all survivors, and our weaknesses can also become our greatest strengths.
Irub my head as I lean back in my office chair. Right now, there’s simply not enough caffeine to keep up with everything I need to do. Having Tennant stop by this morning and drop the bombshell on me about Sandro and him… Yeah, I need to talk to Ian.
