Allesandro dips his head in apology, and I turn back to Hollis. “Lio needs it; he feels better, safer, armed. I will give him a knife every fucking day if you try to take it away. You may be Lio's Owner and Daddy, but you are notmyOwner and Daddy.” I lift my chin in defiance.
“No,” Jude says slowly. “But we areyoursall the same, just as you areours. We care about you, both of you, and want to make sure you're safe.”
“We are! Lio’s still on suicide watch, for fuck’s sake, and I will be by his side every fucking day for the rest of our lives. I love him.” Taking a deep breath, I look down at my friend, who hasn't stirred, even when I raised my voice just now. “I love him. He is…everything to me, my light in the dark. Voi tre, più Ignacio, siete tutto per me. Ma Lio...è la mia vita. I know what he did scared you, it scared me too… But I have faith in him. I can help him fight his demons.”
“It’s not that simple, Roman…” Hollis says gently.
“I know that, but please, trust me, and him. I know he needs help, that the monsters in his nightmares don’t just go away because of the medication. He agreed to therapy…” My voice breaks. “He wants to be better for you three,” I look between Tennant, Hollis, and Allesandro, “and for me. Please, trust us.”
Ten and Hollis exchange a look, before Tennant sighs. “I don’t like it. If you suspect anything is amiss, and Emilio hasn’t spoken up, then you need to come to us. Hell, come anyway, just to have your bases covered.”
I nod rapidly. “I promise. I would never let him put himself in danger.”
“What about yourself?” Jude questions. “The whole not eating and not letting anyone see you may not have been a piece of glass to the wrists, but…you know that's not okay either.”
I look down, tugging at my skirt, suddenly hating the sight of it. “I’m sorry,” I say, just loud enough to be heard. “I…I couldn’t face a world without him.”
“Lio would never want you to live such a half-life,” Tennant says gently. “He loves you.”
I nod, still looking down at my lap. “I…I know. I just…things got hard, and now…now I don’t know if they’ll ever be okay again.” I look up at my lovers. “Wh—what Stanley said…is it true?”
“We don’t know what happened, Roman,” Hollis replies gently. “I promised Javi there would be no audio in any of the therapy offices. Visual only, so the only real indication we had that something was wrong was when Lio attacked him. I made Leandro turn it off when I realized he was watching, but what he saw only showed you were uncomfortable, it didn’t point to anything seriously being wrong.”
I scowl. “I don’t fucking care what Javi thinks. I want audio restored to the offices, especially if you’re going to make Lio go through that bullshit again.”
Hollis shakes his head. “Therapy is private, personal. The people in those offices don’t deserve to have their every word listened to, especially not when they're at their most vulnerable.”
“I don’t want something like this to ever happen again.”
Hollis looks uncomfortable, and I know he’s not going to cave. Thankfully, Jude steps in. “What if we allow Leandro to listen in to your sessions only? You’ll have to let Javi know, but will that ease your mind? Knowing that you have another lifeline outside of Lio?”
“I am never going back to fucking therapy.”
“Yes,” Tennant says. “You are.”
“No! Not if they’re all going to be judgmental, overbearing bastards who…who make me want to hurt myself!” I cry, sobs working their way out of my throat.
I remove my hand from Lio’s, so I can place both over my mouth, trying to stifle the sounds.
Tennant reaches over and lifts me up off the bed, holding me in his arms. “Shh, it’s okay, Giocattolo. I got you.”
He holds me while I sob into his shoulder; great, heaving wails that are barely muffled by his shirt. My body shakes so much, I fear I’m going to vibrate out of my skin.
Jude brackets me on the other side, his warmth barely reaching the depths of my shattered and freezing soul.
“What happened, Roman?” Jude asks.
I whimper. “He…he said I was a disappointment to m—my father. That I…I ruined the Amato name, and destroyed Cristian’s legacy. I… He said I have Daddy issues, and my relationships were proof.” Letting out a humorless laugh, I look from Tennant to Jude, not able to see Hol from my position. “I probably do have some fucking Daddy issues, but that has nothing to do with my relationships with you three, or Ignacio…or hell, even Lio! I love you all because you’re part of me. My soulmates…right?”
Doubt begins to creep in, and Stanley’s words, paired with my own lifelong insecurities, begin to cloud my thoughts.
“His father must be disappointed.”My biggest nightmare come to life. It's what has haunted me since I first knew what it meant to be an Amato.
I always knew I wasn’t good enough to carry the name; that I wastoo much, too feminine, too emotional… To have it said aloud, though? I didn’t expect it to be so devastating.
I wanted…I wanted to be more, better. I wanted to make a name for myself. To prove to Lio and Carter that I am morethan my father’s heir…that I could be useful on the Council with them. Instead, I am nothing but wasted space.
“Hey, come back to me, Little One, come on. Let me see those pretty green eyes.”
