‘I hope you’re right.’
‘Well, we don’t have other ideas, so let’s go with this for now.’
He saw the Easter tree standing proud at the very end of Cherry Lane, the Easter decorations sparkling in the streetlights, but as they drew closer, he suddenly could see a flash of red through the branches at the bottom and Etta’s bright purple trainers.
‘She’s there,’ Xander pointed.
Immy parked as close as she could but Xander was already out the car, throwing Immy his phone. ‘Text my brothers and tell them we have her. Get Margaret to tell the police if they aren’t already there.’
She grabbed the phone and he ran to the tree, crawling underneath to see his little girl sitting on the floor, her knees pulled up to her chest, crying loudly.
‘Hey, sweetheart,’ Xander said gently.
She looked up and started sobbing even louder. He sat down next to her and pulled her onto his lap, holding her tight in his arms as he stroked her head. She clung onto him like she never wanted to let him go.
‘I wanted you to be my daddy so much. I didn’t want Uncle Nick to be my daddy, I didn’t like him.’
‘I am your daddy, honey, a daddy is someone who looks after you and does fun things with you and gives you cuddles and loves you so damn much it hurts. Just because Nick gave your mummy the seed to make you doesn’t make him the daddy. A daddy is a much more important job than just giving the seed.’
She looked up at him in confusion. ‘But the paternity test said that Nick was my dad.’
Xander cursed because he wasn’t making himself clear. But this was why he’d wanted to wait until Etta was older so she understood the biology of it. How could he explain that Nick might technically, biologically be her father, but that didn’t make him a dad? That job was so much more complex than simply donating sperm. And that’s all Nick was, a sperm donor; he had never been a dad to Etta.
‘A baby is made with the seed from the man and the egg from the woman, but making the baby doesn’t mean that the man and the woman are the parents. The parents, the mummy and the daddy, are the people who raise and look after and love the baby, just like I have done every day since you were born. You know how your friend Sophie is adopted? Her mummy and daddy are the ones who are raising her, some other man and woman made Sophie with their seed and egg, but the mummy and daddy who she lives with are the ones who love her and take care of her and they are the ones that count. She calls them Mummy and Daddy, doesn’t she?’
Etta nodded.
‘That’s because they love her and cuddle her and read her bedtime stories and do all the fun things with her.’
‘So Sophie has two mummy and daddies?’
‘Technically yes. The mummy and daddy that made her with their seed and egg and the mummy and daddy that love her.’
‘So you’re not my real daddy?’
‘I didn’t make you with my seed, I wish I had, but I didn’t. But that doesn’t change that I’m the only daddy you’ve ever known and I’m the only daddy that loves you so much. This paternity test doesn’t change anything. You will still live with me and I’ll still be your daddy and I will still love you and tell you I love you every single day.’
She laid her head on his shoulder, the sobs subsiding a little bit. ‘And you’ll never leave me?’
‘Never, I love you too much to ever want to leave you. That will never change. Even when the new baby comes, I will still love you very much.’
Etta lifted her head to look at him, tears still in her eyes, and it killed him to see her so sad.
‘So you gave the seed to Immy to make her baby?’
‘Yes.’
‘But that doesn’t mean you have to be the baby’s daddy. Someone else can be the daddy and love the baby and take care of it, it doesn’t have to be you.’
That was a curveball he hadn’t seen coming.
‘But I want to be the baby’s daddy, I want to lookafter it and love it, just like I wanted to love you when you were in your mummy’s tummy.’
Fresh tears filled her eyes. ‘But I don’t want you to love the baby, and I don’t want a brother or sister, I don’t want Immy to move in with us and I don’t want to move house. I want it to just be the two of us forever.’
Xander’s heart sank. It had all been too much for Etta, too soon. He should have eased her into it gently. Not landed Immy and a new baby on her as a fait accompli. He had cocked this up spectacularly and he had no idea how to fix it.
Immy lay in bed waiting for Xander to come in. Her heart hurt. She had heard everything Etta had said inside the tree and her heart broke for her. Etta was a scared, confused little girl thanks to what Brook had done. Although her and Xander’s relationship and impending baby hadn’t helped. She had nothing but sympathy and compassion for Etta but that didn’t stop the pain Immy was feeling.
