‘That’s not entirely true. We discussed it, I feel it’s better she finds out the truth when she’s older and she has a better understanding of it. She doesn’t fully comprehend the biology yet of how a baby is made. She doesn’t get that one minute I was her dad and then suddenly I might not be. She’s going to be much better equipped to deal with that revelation when she’s more mature.’
Tom and Margaret looked at each other awkwardly. ‘Well.’ Tom cleared his throat. ‘That’s where we might have messed up.’
Xander frowned. ‘What are you not telling me?’
‘Brook had a paternity test done a few weeks before she died,’ Margaret said.
Xander felt physically sick. ‘Please tell me you didn’t share the results with Etta.’
‘We thought she had a right to know,’ Tom said. ‘We asked her if she wanted to know and she said yes.’
‘She’s six years old. If you asked her if she wanted to eat ice cream ten times a day she’d say yes, doesn’t meanyou’d give it to her. For crying out loud, what were you thinking?’
‘Don’t take that tone with me,’ Tom said defensively.
‘Shall I go and get her?’ Immy said.
‘Yes, I don’t want her sitting in the car by herself, feeling so lost and confused,’ Xander said.
Immy pulled on her shoes and coat and disappeared out the door.
Xander pushed his hands through his hair. ‘I can’t believe you did this. She is my daughter, I get to decide what’s best for her, not you. Why the hell did you do it?’
‘Well, she’s not technically your daughter. We are her blood relatives, not you,’ Tom said.
Xander waited for the pain of that to hit him but it didn’t. He’d already made peace with the fact that Etta probably wasn’t his biological daughter a long time ago, but it made no difference to how he felt for her. He’d always known that he would love her regardless. It had hurt him at the time that Brook had made her announcement, he’d been devastated. He couldn’t feel that pain again now he knew for sure. She was still his daughter and nothing would change that.
‘She has been my daughter since before she was even born, I don’t have to share her DNA to actually be her dad. You should have talked about this with me. Not taken it upon yourself to upend her entire world.’
Tom tried to stand firm. ‘I don’t think—’
‘That’s just it, you didn’t think. What did she say when she found out?’ Xander said.
‘She started crying and sobbing and didn’t stop,’Margaret said. ‘She said that now you’re having a baby that really is yours then you won’t love her anymore.’
‘Christ, I should have been there when she found out so I could reassure her that the truth changes nothing, nor does me having another baby. You have no idea how long and how hard I’ve worked to build up her confidence again after Brook destroyed her. How scared and worried she feels about the possibility of me leaving her too. I have had to reassure her every single damn day that I love her, that I’m never leaving her, that she will always be my daughter. You’ve ruined everything.’
‘We are so sorry,’ Margaret said.
‘No, we’re not. It’s you having another baby that’s upset her, not us,’ Tom said.
‘Oh, do stop talking out of your ass Tom,’ Margaret snapped. ‘Take some damned responsibility for your actions for once.’
Xander heard footsteps on the stairs as someone, probably Etta, thundered up them. He opened the door to see Immy, pale and shaken and out of breath.
‘She’s gone,’ Immy said, struggling to talk.
‘What do you mean, she’s gone?’
‘I got down to the car and saw it was empty and the back door was open. I looked around and saw her running down the street. I chased after her but she was too far away to catch up. I shouted to her and she didn’t look back. She disappeared round a corner and by the time I’d got there she was gone.’
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Xander felt like the bottom had dropped out of his world. Etta was gone. He had a moment of pure panic, unable to move, or think, or do anything.
‘Give me your phone. I’ll send a message to your brothers in the WhatsApp group, they can join the search,’ Immy said.
He handed her the phone numbly as his brain went into overdrive. He was angry and terrified and he didn’t know what to do first. His daughter was out there alone, scared, upset in the rain and the dark and he just wanted to hold her tight and tell her he would always love her. Where would she go? Where could he even start looking for her?
