My lips twist. I exhale, but it’s shaky.
‘See?’ Solana hollers. ‘I told you. Too much of a cutie. And I applaud you, Ren, for taking such good care of your daddy.’
There are murmurings of approval.
‘But what wereallywant is to read Hud’s messages to Harmony,’ Angel pipes up, winking in the direction of our captain. ‘Now those DMs gon befilthy.’
‘Number one, he doesn’t have my number,’ Harmony clips, ‘and number two, since when do I have to do a dare? I had my turn already.’
‘Just messin’ with you, Cap,’ Angel says with a wink.
‘Here’s your phone,’ Jewel says to me so no one else can hear. I raise my eyes to hers and suddenly it feels as though the air has shifted. I know by the look on her face that she’s read at least part, or the entirety of, Brody’s message to me last night. I look away quickly, and turning on my heel, go to put my phone back, unlocking it in the corridor. Sure enough, Dad’s message from yesterday about the popcorn is there, staring back at me on the screen.
I clutch my cell to my chest. Tears sting the corners of my eyes. Do I pretend like everything is normal? Like nothing untoward just took place.
I hear arguments next door about whether, as ringmasters, Angel or Shawny will be doing their own truth or dare.
I place my phone back beside the door with all the others. When I re-enter the room, Jewel is back on the carpet, hugging her knees.
‘I think what weallwanna know is…’ Solana says as she looks playfully between Angel and Shawny, ‘if you two have ever…’
I witness Shawny’s blush of embarrassment. Angel, on the other hand, is unflustered. ‘That question issolast season,’ she sighs. ‘Can we just move on? Who’s next?’
I reclaim my seat on the floor. I try to catch Jewel’s attention. It’s quickly clear to me that she doesn’t plan on looking my way.
WhenTruth or Darecomes to an end, conversations flow more freely, and the atmosphere relaxes a little. I keep one eye on Jewel, because she hasn’t said a word to me since she looked at my phone. I’d almost prefer not to speak to her, because talking only leads to me telling a bunch more lies.
In the end, I catch her alone in the kitchen. When I go stand next to her, neither of us speaks, until we both speak at the same time.
‘You first,’ she says.
I take a breath. ‘I know you saw something… on my phone,’ I say.
She looks down, to a plate on the counter piled high with potato chips that have remained untouched. ‘I didn’t wanna embarrass you,’ she responds after a moment.
‘I appreciate that.’
‘Was it from a guy you’re seeing, or something?’
She wouldn’t have known it was from Brody because I never added him as a contact in my phone, yet it forces another lie out of my mouth.
I shake my head. ‘It’s some weird Mutineers fan, I think, who got hold of my number from somewhere and he’s harassing me.’
‘Ren! Why didn’t you block him?’
It’s a valid question. ‘I did. The first time.’ I shrug. ‘Then he just changed numbers.’
‘You need to tell Kathleen about that shit. Immediately. We don’t have nearly as much security as the players. Imagine that douchebag decides to follow you, what then?’
I tear up, mostly because I hate lying to her every time I open my mouth, and I’m fit to burst. ‘Jewel, I’m in some real hot water. I may have to quit the squad.’
My voice breaks as I say it. Her eyes go wide. ‘No!’ she blurts at full volume, and both of us look to the door. The other girls are all still in the living area. She grabs on to both my hands and squeezes my fingers. ‘No,’ she whispers again. ‘What do you mean, quit the squad?’
‘I wish I could tell you everything, but I can’t. Not right now.’
‘I wouldn’t tell a soul.’
‘Jewel, I… I can’t.’
