Mockingbirds and Grackles
The Bears played away at Indianapolis on Sunday, which meant Daddy and I were dealing with all the food for Sunshine Ranch, and all the other bits we do alongside the team, without Colton. It’s better this way for my brother. Last season was hard for him: the uncertainty of Mama’s cancer, his twenty-four seven blackened mood over my “situation” for which he blamed himself, trying to be the wide receiver the Bears expect him to be, then being at the ranch as often as he could.
Now, it’s time for him to get back to football. Not least because it’s Colton who silently keeps this whole place running, not that he’ll ever talk about money. Our land was passed down through generations but all the work and upgrades here on the ranch couldn’t happen without my brother’s generosity.
I barely even got to watch the game on Sunday, though I saw enough to know that my brother and Omar were being blocked at every turn by the Indianapolis defense. It was a scrappy, low scoring game. The Bears somehow won in the final seconds when Lamar threw a killer bullet pass to Tanner, who used his sheer size and power to get into the end zone.
But the thing I enjoyed more than anything was the way the guys celebrated that winning touchdown. I guess word spread quickly about Tanner’s run-in with our entire coop of hens because when he scored, every one of Bears’ offense celebrated by clucking around like chickens.
Not only was it hilarious but for me, it felt like anin. I haven’t been to a game so far this season and the FOMO isreal.
Watching Tanner try to get thirty-odd chickens back in their coop might have been the most fun I’ve had in a very long time. And as deluded as it sounds, that celebration made me feel as if he wanted me to be there at the game, to give me another reason to laugh my boots off.
Whether he planned to or not, Tanner made me feel the way I tend to in his company – light, fluffy, brain-fogged in the best way. It was only a celebration but itmeantsomething to me.
Now, though, it’s Monday night – the middle of the night, technically Tuesday morning – and I’m not laughing at all.
Nelson has been up all night with a roaring temperature and vomiting.
I’ve never seen him this poorly. It’s terrifying. And exhausting.
Mama always used to say that everything looked better in the daylight. I’m hoping and praying she’s right as I watch the sky through the window slowly lighten to dawn. Replacing the chirping of crickets that sounds ominous in the small hours with the brighter song of waking mockingbirds and grackles.
“How’s he doin’?” Daddy asks before the sun is up, standing in the doorway to my bedroom.
I check my watch. “He hasn’t been sick for a couple hours but his stomach must be empty.”
Daddy nods. “Coffee and toast for you, darlin’?”
“Yes, please.”
I’m not sure what my mama would have said or done differently if she was here and I know that even getting up and coming to offer me breakfast is Daddy’s way of showing he cares, but I really miss my mama.
As a kid when you’re sick you always want your mama. As an adult when your own kid is sick, you want your mama, too.
I press my lips to Nelson’s hair and slip out of bed. The smell of toast is like heaven, sanctity, the waving of the white flag on a horrendous night.
“You should cancel Betty today,” Daddy says, resting back against the countertop with a hot mug of coffee between his hands, wearing his usual ranch uniform of a checked shirt, big silver buckle and stonewash jeans. “The last thing you need is for the nanny to come down with stomach flu.”
“If that’s what it is. He could have rolled a toy in manure and put it in his mouth, honestly. I mean, that’s what I’m hoping for because we don’t need a bout of gastritis running through the ranch.”
“No, we don’t but best be on the safe side. Tell Betty we’ll pay her not to come today and I’ll tell Colton to stay away until we’re all clear.”
“What about college? I’m supposed to have a meeting about my dissertation ideas today, not that I haveany ideas.”
“I’ll drive you and bring Nelson along with me, that way you’re nearby when he wants you but he can sleep on the ride and I’ll push him out for some fresh air while you’re in classes.”
I stare at the buttered toast on the plate Daddy offers me, willing the stinging in my eyes to dissipate. “You have work to do here.”
“Nothin’ that can’t wait. If your mama was here, she’d be putting you and our grandson first, so that’s what I’ll do in her stead.” He walks as swiftly as I’ve ever seen him move out to the porch. “And that’s the last I’ll hear about it now, Annie.”
This is rough on everyone.Iam hard for everyone.
Rubbing my tired eyes roughly and raking my fingers through my tatted hair, I focus on the small things. Message Betty to cancel. Pack a bag for Nelson. Pack a bag for me. Tell Colton to stay in the city. Tell Tanner not to come here tomorrow for my driving lesson – which is more necessary than ever because Ineedto pass my test. Think of something useful to say to my tutor about dissertation ideas.
The only darn reason I’ve opted for a dissertation is because it means two fewer classes a week in my schedule, so I can be more flexible for Nelson and to fit around Colton’s training. Which leads right back to… I really need to pass my road test.
At some point, I’d love to sleep, too.
