I’m exhausted. My body is sore. My head is all over the place.
But I do know that I feel empty without Annie and Nelson.
It’s the early hours of the morning when we land and I don’t expect to get a response for hours but I send a message.
Me
Can I see you, Annie? I want to apologize properly and I’ve got a few more things I’d like to say, in person x
Hell, if it wasn’t a crazy hour, I’d drive straight from the airport to see her at the ranch but I’m over pussyfooting around this,us.
When I park at home, the house is in darkness. I let myself in and dump my bag by the door.
“Night lights on,” I say into the open space.
What I find when the low orange hue turns on is more unexpected than Goldilocks sleeping in the Bears’ house. There’s an angel sleeping on my sofa.
48
ANNIE – EARLY DECEMBER
A Long Time Coming
The night lights come on in the lounge, where I must have fallen asleep on Tanner’s sofa, waiting for him to come home from Washington because what I have to say can’t wait any longer.
My eyes flicker, adjusting, then I wonder if I’m still dreaming as the man I love comes to sit on the coffee table in front of me and strokes my hair back from my temple.
“Hi,” he whispers.
I push up to sit, facing him. “Tanner Pace.”
“Annie Quinn.” He smiles gently. He’s perfect. Beautiful.
And I want him to be mine, forever.
“This is a nice surprise. What are you doing here?”
This is it. The moment of truth.
“I have some things I need to clear up with you.”
He nods. “Where’s Nelson?”
“At the ranch, with Daddy.”
“I’m glad you’re here because I have some things I want to clear up with you, too.”
“Yeah?”
“I’m sorry, Annie. The way I behaved at Nelson’s party was not okay. It wasn’t me but I guess emotions got the better of me. There’s no excuse for it. I antagonized Auston, when I should have backed down.”
“No.” I shake my head as I kneel between his legs. “I’m sorry, Tanner. I don’t want Nelson to see fighting like that. It’s not how I was brought up and it’s what I’m trying to avoid for my son. But I put you and Auston in a precarious situation. That’s on me.”
He runs a hand through my hair, watching his fingers glide right through to the ends. “It killed me, Annie, seeing Auston with you guys, and I knowhe’s Nelson’s dad. For Nelson’s sake, I want you all to find a way through it. But selfishly, I was so fucking envious that Auston could have everything that I want.”
His words are so raw and pained, I shuffle closer to him, reaching a hand to his face. “No,” I say firmly, unequivocally. “There’snothinggoing on between Auston and me, Tanner. There won’t ever be. I’m not convinced he’ll stick around for Nelson either but I’ve got to give him a chance.”
“You’re a good mama, Annie.”
