“Any chance we can start this tour with the kitchen?”
Stone reaches me first, placing a hand at the small of my back. “Absolutely.”
Kodi closes the door behind us, and out of habit, I double check that it’s truly locked. This time, though, the confirmation comes with a sense of relief.
Nobody can get into my room except the four of us. Not a prison; a safe space. A panic room without all of the accompanying claustrophobia.
The hallways are made of light grey stones, and chillier than I expected. If it wasn’t for the ornate, narrow carpet running along the center of floors, I’d have backtracked for my shoes. It all fits the stereotypical, ancient castle aesthetic, with walls lined in portraits and tapestries depicting old battles, but none of them blur together. Each and every painting and the occasional framed photograph captures an element of magic. People with glowing runes running down their arms, scenes of nature that seem too beautiful to be real, people mid-shift, or wrapped in smoky silhouettes of their animals.
It’s a fantasy lover’s wet dream. I could spend weeks just roaming the halls and studying them all, living vicariously through the memories.
Crossing the threshold into the kitchen, I take in the sleek, stainless steel appliances set into the stone walls. The floor is made of a smooth stone slab, a few shades of grey darker than the walls. The two of them share a loaded glance, and Kodi picks me up to set me on the center island facing him, stepping between my legs. “Anything in particular sound appealing?”
The sound of a door opening behind me has my eyes falling shut with a resigned sigh. “Let me guess; pantry?”
A warm thumb brushes over my lower lip, and I force myself to face Kodiak’s sad expression, attempting to squash down my surge of embarrassment. “Please hold.” Brow furrowed in concentration, he curls his hands, quickly flicking his fingers into his palm. “Heads up, doc.”
With a muffled curse, Stone catches the door that falls from the now non-existent hinges, and I listen to the sound of the wood scraping against rock as he sets it off to the side.
Giving me his full attention again, Kodi winks. “Nope, just a kitchen alcove we store food in for the sake of convenience.” His amusement falls. “On a more serious note, I have to ask. Is it the dark, the cramped space, or just the fact that it’s a pantry? Raiden wasn’t clear on that when he filled us in.”
Buzzing my lips with my heavy exhale, I contemplate it for a moment. “I’ve psyched myself out on the concept, I think, to the point even considering walking into one makes me want to throw up. But honestly, if I were actually closed in a regular closet, it would probably trigger the same flashbacks. So... all of the above?” I frown. “Wait, no. The issue with the dark is only if it’s so pitch black I can’t see my hand in front of my face. I’d have a heart attack if someone grabbed my shoulder and I didn’t even know they were in the room, but I don’t feel guilty about that one, because that would freak out ninety-nine percent of the population, too.”
Looking up at Kodi, I grimace. “You don’t need to go ripping doors off their hinges, I need to get over this. It’s ridiculous that you guys need to walk on eggshells around me. As long as you don’t lock me in a closet or make me go into the pantry to grab something until I work through my issues, I think we’re good.”
“Amara, you don’t have toget throughanything,” Stone declares, returning with an unopened box of crackers and a new jar of peanut butter. “All of your worst memories happened while you were confined in some manner. It’s okay if you’re never okay stepping foot in a closet. You have three mates that can grab whatever you need, and are more than willing to renovate and give you more open spaces so you’re comfortable in your own home.”
Kodi adds, “And until then, we’ll get you one of those grabby claws in case we’re not around. An extra long one.”
Rummaging through a drawer, Stone withdraws a butterknife, opening everything in front of me and assembling some makeshift sandwiches. “We all have things that we avoid like the plague. Trauma doesn’t have an expiration date, and pretending otherwise is a recipe for unnecessary heartache for everyone involved.”
He passes a cracker sandwich to me and I pop it in my mouth, inhaling it in two bites. Scarfing down another couple, it gives me time to formulate my response. “If you’re okay sharing, I’d like to know what you guys struggle with. Not to commiserate, but if you’re going out of your way to try and help me, I'd like to return the favor.”
Stone releases a weary sigh. “Allowing myself to enjoy anything without self-sabotaging. It’s been a massive adjustment over recent weeks, and I still feel guilty most days, but I’m finally coming to terms with everything that transpired thanks to you.” He palms the back of my neck, kissing my temple before moving to the sink.
Kodiak’s gaze hardens as he stares at a spot on the wall over my shoulder. “Churches. They’re a hard no for me.”
Knowing better than to push, I hold up one of my mini-sandwiches as a peace offering. “Maybe I’ll keep closets as a hard no too, then. At least for a little while, if you guys are willing to work with me.”
His features soften, and Kodi captures my wrist, obnoxiously licking my fingers before finally popping the entire snack in his mouth. “Ready for a tour,mo chuisle?”
“That depends, are you going to tell me what that means?”
He kisses me abruptly, the taste of peanut butter and dirty promises lingering on my lips after he pulls away. “Direct translation would be my pulse,” he claims, lifting me off the counter and walking toward the hall, encouraging me to wrap my legs around his waist. “My heart, lifeblood. Take it as you please, but it’s a term of endearment that means you’re the reason my heart beats.”
My pulse stutters as I hold on for the ride, taking in the scenery as it passes us by, struggling to come up with a good response. Saying these three are intense is a massive understatement, and they always leave me scrambling in their wake, thrown off-balance.
“But no pressure or anything.” Finishing off the last cracker, I slide to my feet. Licking my fingers, I walk between the two of them down one of the endless hallways, this place a labyrinth of the best and worst varieties.
“Raiden said you three have been on the outs for a while, right?” We pass door after door, more rooms in this place than any three, let alone twenty people could ever need. “So Raiden’s just been living here... alone? For nearly as long as I’ve been alive?”
Both of them squirm guiltily, Stone offering his excuse first. “It makes more sense for me to bounce around hospitals across the country. Puts me in contact with more shifters that might need my help.”
Kodi fidgets with one of the silver rings in the cartilage of his ear. “I see him all the time because of political bullshit crossing over with my company. My training building is stationed here, so I come back every time we need to run drills or train a new recruit, too.”
“Then why don’t you live together?”
Grimacing, he explains, “Because he’s so caught up with work, he rarely leaves Khalida. This city ishisbaby, not ours. I’ve always wanted to find my mate, and the only way that would happen is by putting myself out there. And Stone has always been on an endless quest of redemption. Our priorities took us in different directions, and by the time any of us realized how distant we’d become, the chasm was so big, none of us knew how to repair it.”
