Attempting to cling to the pressure of his mouth on my skin, I clamp my eyes tightly shut, but the heat of his body is replaced by cold, numbing, depression.
“They need you to step up, Hunter. I get that you’re grieving, but so are they. You need to put your misery aside and help them; they’re floundering.”
I can feel my lips forming words, but it’s Hunter’s voice that emerges. “They were my parents, and you’re asking me to make these assholes feel better because they’re scared to not have someone taking care of them? How the fuck do you think I feel?”
The responding voice is cold as ice before fading away, as if leaving the room. “It doesn’t matter how you feel. You’re an alpha, and that means you put your own emotions aside in order to manage everyone else’s. Fair? Of course not. But we all have our roles to play in this life, and this was the hand you were dealt, so figure out how to live with it. Because if you don’t, you’re dragging hundreds of people into the grave with you.”
When I shake the vision off, I’m straddling Hunter’s lap. His voice is a low whisper as he praises, “There you are, princess. I knew you’d come back to me.”
Kissing down the side of my neck, there’s a soft click and vibrating sound before he presses something against my clit through the thin barrier of my underwear. With a groan, I grind against him, the sucking sensation enough to have my toes curling within seconds. Damian appears behind me, pushing my underwear aside, and I tense at the feeling of a lubed-up toy against my ass.
“Breathe for me,” Hunter coaches, capturing my mouth in the next moment and speaking against my lips between kissing the hell out of me. “If you want to stop, you just need to say the word, but believe me when I say that when we make you scream, we want it to be because you’re getting as off on it as we are. So relax, and trust that we’ll take care of you.”
Hunter kisses me through the sharp pinch as the toy is pushed into me, distracting me from some of the pressure. But as my thoughts scatter, and Damian drives it deeper, I take a sharp intake of breath, siphoning from Hunter faster than I’d been attempting.
The sound of screams startles me awake, and my bare feet slap into hardwood as I roll out of my bed alongside several others awakening around me. Storming out of the communal bunk, the crisp air licks my skin as I run harder, faster. Dust is stirred up beneath my feet, caking them in dirt, the occasional rock and hard prickle of dried grass stabbing into them, but I don’t let any of it slow me down.
Scream after scream rends the night air, simultaneously growing louder and fading away the closer I get. By the time I get to the clearing at the edge of our territory, it’s in time to see the Slaughters still tearing apart several men from my pack. Limbs lay scattered in the dirt amongst a few sacks of food, the produce spilling from them now bruised and flecked with blood.
It’s my fault. They’re dead because they were starving and desperate, because there was no one to stop them from pulling such a suicidal stunt.
They’ll destroy themselves if I don’t do something to keep them in check.
“Keep a tighter leash on your men,” a younger version of Merrick spits, wiping his bloody hand on his jeans. “Next time we won’t be so understanding that the acts of a few don’t represent your entire pack. Another offense will be considered a declaration of war.”
He runs his cold gaze over me, standing here in only a pair of faded pajama pants, my feet torn to shreds, and in shock. I can’t even nod, let alone form a response. I just stare at the corpses of people my age, teenagers that I grew up with and failed to protect because I was too caught up in my grief.
Shaking his head, he gives me his back, the three of them walking away. “And you will lose. Go home, Varyn, get some sleep. Trust me; you’re going to need it.”
The scene skips forward to me in my single bed, surrounded by dozens of men; some snoring, some taking such deep, slow breaths, it’s obvious that they’re barely holding it together. Everything around me is being torn apart, everyone being torn apart. The second I cave into weakness, someone swoops in to capitalize on it.
I try to close my eyes, but every time I do, all I can see are the mangled bodies of the people I was supposed to protect. All I can hear is the sound of their screams, a haunting lullaby daring me to let my guard down long enough to sleep.
The dark presence in the back of my mind expands, taking advantage of how off-kilter I am. Every time I muster up a small amount of confidence in how to handle the situation, he’s there, taunting me, replaying the memories of tonight like he intends on driving me completely mad.
“You can’t save them,” he whispers, the sound echoing around my skull on repeat. “They’re self-destructive people that look at death as a release. You may protect them from those who would attack them, but it’s temporary. You’ll never be able to save them from themselves.” The voice slithers and writhes inside of me, making me nauseous.
“You have to sleep sometime, Hunter. And when you do?” The pressure in my skull increases, threatening to shatter everything contained within it. “You’re mine.”
Hunter swallows my small whimper as Damian pushes the tip of his cock into my ass. “You’re killing me here, love.” Damian’s voice is little more than gravel. “We keep having to push farther and farther to bring you back to us, and it makes me feel like a creep.”
Licking my lips, I shove away the sense of hopeless frustration that’s taken up residence in my head. “Don’t, Iaskedyou to. I’m one hundred percent on board with what we’re doing. If anything, I actually want you to treat melessdelicately, because a little physical pain might help keep me grounded better.”
Two sets of agitated growls surround me before Damian grits out, “You’re taking on too much.”
Exhaling long and slow, I force my body to relax and rock back, taking another inch of him. “And you’re both carrying enough guilt to drown a continent, so I suppose we all have our faults.”
Hunter turns the toy sideways, utilizing the vibrations against my clit to turn me into putty between them. “Were.” With an agitated huff, he clamps his teeth around the side of my throat, biting down to drive his displeasure home. “You took the brunt of it when you were only supposed to be searching for whatyougave us. I hate you a little bit for taking it away from me, you know. That guilt was well deserved and forced me to get my shit together.”
When he pulls back, I hold his gaze. “You don’t hate me for taking it away, you hate thinking that I’m suffering the way that you have all of these years.” My breath hitches, nails digging into his shoulder as Damian drives to the hilt.
“Damn straight I do.” Chucking the toy aside, he frees himself in a fluid motion while rising to his feet. “You’ve been through too much as it is, yet you keep pushing yourself into taking on more.”
Lining himself up, he surges inside of me with a solid thrust, and I’m forced to cling to him before I splinter apart. The pressure reaches new levels when I lock my ankles around his lower back, as Damian wraps a hand around my throat while he snaps his hips. But as they fuck me senseless, I file away every bit of pain I took off of their shoulders, box them up, and chuck them into their designated section in my head. While those memories hurt, and help me understand them on a new level, why they act the way that they do, ultimately, the memories and the pain associated with them aren’t mine. It’s easier than I thought it would be to shed the weight of them from my shoulders, not needing to bear it for more than a few minutes. Will I remember these things for the rest of my days? Absolutely. Will I let them loom over my head to torture me?
Abso-fucking-lutely not.
“You like when I take more,” I breathlessly tease.
