I toss my hands up in exasperation. “We run, he’ll find us. Our only real choice is to stay and do what you guys had hoped; convince people to dethrone him. Stabbing him in the heart didn't work, so maybe this time we tear him to pieces and scatter them across the globe. Even if he somehow miraculously survives that, he won't be a threat. Or heck, tell your people to go hang out in the fields and we burn everything down while they’re safe. Then Ash can be king of the ashes. If nobody hasanythingleft, nothing can be used against them, because even being arrested for murder would be a step up at that point. Three meals a day and a roof over their heads, just swapping one warden for another.”
Slowly, I release a long exhale through my nose. “Kaige can siphon without touching anyone, and Damian can transfer energy, which is more powerful than most alphas, yet even with the three of you as a united front, you weren’t able to move against him. None of that’s changed. If anything, it shows that there’s nowhere any of us can go to escape him, so we’re better off staying close and seeking out a weakness.”
“And you.” It’s a soft whisper, taking some of the wind out of my sails as I watch him scrub a hand down his face before pinning me with an anguished look. “You funneled everything you took from Merrick straight into Leo without a lick of practice, Sabrina; far easier than anything Damian can pull off. And now that you claimed us, we’re immune to manipulation from other alphas. I don’t know what makes the three of you special, and don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful for it, but I don’t understand it. I could write off Damian as a fluke since he was trained as a kid before his wolf dug his heels in, but that doesn’t explain why you and Kaige have extra abilities over any of the rest of us.”
Growling, he fists his hair, closing his eyes. “It doesn’t explain how Ash survived being stabbed in the heart. There isn’t something wrong with you, Sabrina, there’s something that sets some of you apart from the rest of us, and I can’t figure out what it is.” Nostrils flaring with his long inhale, he grits out, “And why them, but not me? I already tried to kill Ash once and failed. How am I supposed to save you, save any of us? Why do I want to get you as far away from this place as possible, while at the same time, the thought of you leaving makes me sick?”
Stomach flipping in the face of his abject misery, I whisper, “When was the last time you slept?”
His eyelids fly open, pinning me in place with a furious glare. “Don’t. Don’t try to make it out like I’m just sleep deprived and paranoid.”
“Are you seriously going to lecture me like I don’t know what it’s like to not know what’s real and what’s not, to assume that everyone that pays you any attention wants to use you for something? Paranoia isn’t a bad thing, Hunter. Not when we live the sort of lives that we do.”
A few weighted seconds pass before he admits, “I usually sleep an hour or two a night. And catch a few minutes here and there throughout the day.”
I take a step closer, but he matches me to keep some distance. “What happens when you sleep?”
Refusing to look at me, he storms off toward our bags piled against the wall. “Don’t.” Shaking his head, he utters a nearly imperceptible, “Please.”
And I’ve officially reached a crossroads that will define my relationship with Hunter from this point on. Either I respect his request and back off, or I take it as the cry for help that it is and push a little harder, knowing things will likely explode in my face before they have a hope of getting better.
Beyond sick of ultimatums, I create a third option. “Kaige said I talk in my sleep. Is that true?” Tensing even further, he offers a curt nod, still not looking at me. Taking a deep breath, I muster up my courage. “Then you probably already know that I’ve been through countless scenarios. Each of you loving me, yet still gutting me. Blade after blade tearing me apart at your hands, because I can never bring myself to stop you, knowing that I deserve every bit of disdain that you lob my way. When I sleep, I watch you tear me apart, break me down into smaller pieces that are easier to manage.”
Staring at his back, I force the words out of my mouth, hating him just a little bit for not facing me when I’m bearing my soul, while also relieved that he’s offering me the mercy to do so without having to see his condemning gaze. “Yet every day I wake up and look you in the face with a smile, having to remind myself countless times that half of the interactions I remember us having haven't actually happened. It’s hard, Hunter; so fucking hard. Sometimes it’s almost impossible to remind myself that my memories are only dreams.”
With a distressed sound, he begins pacing. “Stop.”
Pretty sure I’m going to throw up, I snag a water bottle off the counter, taking a sip. “No. You respect me enough to be an asshole when I don’t realize that I need you to be, so I’m going to extend you the same courtesy. You’re falling apart, and either you let me slap some duct tape on your wounds, or you talk about your damn feelings, but you have to do some sort of patchwork before you completely splinter apart.”
Twisting his mouth into a grimace, he replies, “I don’thaveto do jack shit.”
My lip twitches. “No, but you acknowledge that I make your depressing life suck a little less by being in it, so you’re going to roll with it when I tell you that I want to take a nap. You can either sit there cranky as fuck and watch me live my best life, or climb in with me. Ultimately, it’s your call if you’re joining in, or being a creepy weirdo watching me sleep. Come on.”
Grabbing his hand, I drag his grumbling ass into the bedroom. It’s a basic set up with a queen sized bed, a dresser on the opposite wall in the corner with a large mirror mounted above it, and shelves lining one wall that hold the various items Sebastian deemed worth owning. A photo album, some books, knives, and wood carvings. There’s more empty space than not, but I try to tell myself that the fact there’s anything sentimental on them at all is a good sign.
Kicking off my shoes, I release Hunter to crawl across the mattress and pull back the sheet we’ve been using as a blanket. Settling into place, I punch the pillow no less than fourteen times, flipping it twice to recapture the cool side, as I attempt to capture the elusive, optimal position. Without the luxury of air conditioning, though, it’s more difficult than relaxing.
A few minutes later, Hunter crawls in behind me, sliding an arm under my pillow and putting my neck at the perfect angle to finally be able to close my eyes. “I don’t like this,” he whispers. “I can see him toying with the Slaughters like this was all a sick game, but why would he watch you suffer from afar instead of here where he could control what happened to you? Isn’t that what those sorts of sick fucks get off on?”
Scooting back against him, I bite my lip as I mull it over. But the harder I try to organize my thoughts, the more difficult they are to articulate, so I blurt them out half-formed, hoping they’ll solidify into something sensible when out in the open like earlier. “Because he wanted Annika away from this place, and me too, even if we don’t understand why. There’s something going on here that makes people grow hopeless and complacent, so maybe he wanted us free of it for... some reason.”
Grinding my teeth, each word I spit out is a challenge. “Kaige and Damian have an extra ability, so it’s not a surprise that Ash does, especially since he’s the king of the castle. Alphas manipulate the feral energy of our wolves, and our wolves are connected to every part of our system. Most may focus on comforting, strengthening, or weakening, but they’re only looking at one application of energy. Damian thinks outside of the box and coaxes our wolves into healing our bodies, because theyareus. It’s not that crazy to think that Ash is able to tap into where our wolves are connected to our brains.”
Shaking my head, frustrated, I latch onto my rumbling wolf as confirmation that I’m on the right track. “I don’t think he’s really the threat that you think he is, you justthinkthat he is. He fucks with people’s heads, and that’s the source of his power, not actual power. He turns you not only against each other, but also against yourselves.”
Slowly, he articulates his thoughts. “I don’t feel the same hopelessness as I did before we brought you back here. I don’t know if it’s because of you, or because of how your bite made us immune to external manipulation, but things feel different than before. If you made us tamper-proof, though, I don’t know why you wouldn’t be.” Before I can manage a statement, he scoffs. “Scratch that, Kaige was able to affect you before you bit him, but I think he was onto something when he was trying to seduce you by the campfire. You give us a fraction of your power to hold onto so when you’re barely holding on, we can take the lead.”
Nuzzling the back of my neck, he presses a kiss to my heated flesh. “I’m going to need you to clarify what you want from us, because I’m getting mixed messages, here, princess. Do you want to take the lead, or let us dominate you?”
The corner of my lips twitch. “Stop making it sexual.” When he releases a low, rumbling laugh, I admit, “I want you to acknowledge that I know what I’m talking about, but then I want you to be so desperate to use me, my feminism checks right out the door.” He arches his hips into my ass, showcasing exactly how much he likes the idea, so I clarify, “I want you to prove exactly how much you want me, how desperate you are to fuck the thoughts of any other man from my head. But I also only want you to be that lust-crazed because you know exactly who I am, and none of the things you find scare you away.” A stuttered breath escapes me as he slides a hand down my stomach, dipping beneath my waistband to circle my clit. “I want you to want me because of the hot mess that I am, to fuck the chaotic thoughts right out of my head, and then stand by my side as we face whatever problem of the week is trying to do us in.”
Though it makes me mentally weep, I wrap a hand around his wrist, stilling his efforts. Warily, he rumbles a gravelly, “What are you doing?”
“The same thing you did for me the past couple of weeks; making sure you take care of yourself whether you like it or not. So right now, I want you to get some sleep, because if we’re already not thinking clearly, sleep deprivation is going to make it worse.” Tugging the sheet over us, I command, “Sleep.”
Though I can’t see him, I can feel the sarcasm wafting off of him as he rolls his eyes. “Oh, you're right, it’s that easy. I must’ve simply forgotten how to do it.”
“Fine then, let me bore you to death until you pass out simply to escape my monotonous droning.”
