Embracing what Kaige taught me, I envision the storage unit of my brain, watching like a fly on the wall as I pack away all of my fears and anxiety. But this time, rather than wrap them in chains and chuck them into the dark recesses of my mind to repress like I used to, or leave them lying in plain sight to carefully step around like he suggested, I create a new system. Color coded, sectioned off quadrants; so it’s easier at a glance to see what’s building up to dangerous levels. This one falls firmly in the ‘parental trauma’ category, so I slap a yellow biohazard sticker on the box and kick it over to its designated space to fester until I’m ready to properly dispose of it.
Now, when my other half needs to pull on my reserves to fuel one of her murderous rages, I can pick which section gets shoveled into the furnace so that it doesn’t build up to a level that threatens to crush me.
“Has anyone told you lately how ironic it is that you’re so emotionally intelligent, yet make so many socially idiotic decisions that upset people?”
Chuckling, he pecks a swift kiss to my lips. “Analysis and application are two very different concepts, as you’re well aware.”
With one final deep breath, I pull on my game face. “I do, seeing as how I’m amazing at both of them; you should take notes.”
Outright laughing now, he takes my hand and opens his door. “Duly noted. Come on, beautiful, let’s see if we can’t get some of that confidence to rub off on the villagers and make three of your mates trip over themselves to sing your praises.”
Letting him lead me out of the car, I counter, “Hold on a second, do you mean to tell me the other four won’t be?”
Pulling me into his side, he shuts the door. “Are you kidding me? We love you enoughnotto subject you to our paltry attempts at singing. Our neglect is a gift, I promise you.”
It works like a charm, lessening the intensity and worry of the moment. Letting him lead me toward where the others are waiting, laden down with luggage, I try to ignore the feeling of dozens of eyes on me that make my skin crawl uncomfortably. Not only from the few strangers gathered around Kaige, Hunter, and Damian, several more men emerged from the warehouse, but also those between the trees nearby.
“Don’t let them know that they get to you. Predators feed off of the thrill of toying with their prey, and if there’s one thing we will never be, it’s beneath them; in either fashion.”Her voice in my head sends a chill down my spine, reminding me that no matter how much I may think I have a firm handle on my mental space, it’ll never be exclusively mine.“We belong here, and not because of our mates. It’s because even the blood-soaked ground of this necropolis can’t deter us from setting foot wherever we desire, and right now, that’s here. We don’t require anyone’s permission; ever.”
Stealing my hand back, I wipe my sweaty palms on my shorts and reach for my backpack, Boden looking at me like I grew three heads. Shrugging a shoulder, I don’t bother fighting him for it, because let’s be real. Nobodywantsto carry an extra thirty pounds on an uphill hike at the tail end of summer, and I’m not so stubborn as to lose the advantage of having seven men that are happy to get into pissing contests between each other over who can carry more shit without breaking a sweat.
Work smarter, not harder.
Without saying a single word to any of the strangers boring holes into my skull, I let Kaige lead the way off the beaten path through the trees. While there’s still grass underfoot, it’s a sickly green; yellow and patchy. Dry dirt stirs up dust clouds beneath our feet in several places, and most of the trees are long dead, their leafless branches offering no reprieve from the afternoon sun. One towers over the rest, a series of black scars ravaging the trunk from a lightning strike, not a speck of life to be found on it, but somehow still upright.
Dead inside, but still standing. It should be our pack’s new family crest.
Careful of my wording, since I’m sure at least one of the men stalking us is mated and has access to heightened hearing during the day, I attempt to dispel a fraction of the uncomfortable silence. “I'm going to play devil's advocate for a moment and admit that I get why everybody's killing each other out here. I’d go mad and start experimenting with a way to spice things up, too. Maybe not go so far as to emulate Frankenstein, but you know.”
The rock Reid steps on gives way in the dirt and nearly sends him sprawling, but with an awkward stumble, he rights himself, glaring at the nature around us like it personally offends him. “I hate this place already.”
Barking a laugh, Damian claps him on the shoulder on his way past. “Just wait until I tell you that the bunks share a single landline. Bright side, at least they have running water and electricity, even if it’s rationed.”
Slade looks back at me over his shoulder, his face a mask of horror like he seriously didn’t anticipate the practical applications of our trip out here beyond theoreticals. “We can shower though, right?”
As we reach a small, rocky ledge, rather than go around to continue up the steep slope, Kaige takes a running leap and scales it like he’s done it a thousand times before. Hunter grabs my hips and lifts me up to where Kaige can grab my hand and hoist me up the rest of the way without me needing to put in any effort at all. Waiting at the top, we watch them all climb it relatively easily despite the bags weighing them down.
“Am I the only wolf that actually has to work out to stay in shape? Fuck you guys.”
Cinjin grins up at me. “Yes, please.” Crouching down as he grips the top ledge, I offer a hand, but he doesn’t take me up on the offer. “I’m not pulling you down with me until we’re somewhere better, scoot over.”
Rolling my eyes, I leave them to it, following after Kaige and Hunter as they begin walking away. The latter calls back, “Yes, you can shower... on your allotted day. Conservation of resources with this many people.”
Slade catches up and grabs my hand, tugging me closer. “Quick, while they’re distracted, let’s make a break for it.”
Chuckling, I thread my fingers through his. “Are you kidding me? If I keep you here long enough, I won’t have to do a single thing to make this place more bearable. I just need to wait you out until you throw enough money at all of their problems, they go away.”
“Money doesn’t solve everything,” Bo argues, to which I shrug a shoulder.
“No, but take anyone that knows what it’s like to be poor, and they’ll tell you that it can solve ninety percent of them. Easier to solve the remaining couple when you aren’t worrying about people going hungry or getting their heat turned off in the dead of winter. Stress does more than age you and make you tired; it makes it hard to think about anything besides the most pressing problems staring you in the face.” My steps slow as I scrunch up my face.
Slade cocks his head, worried. “What is it?”
Biting my tongue, I slowly shake my head, walking again. “Thought nagging at the fringes of my mind, but nothing concrete enough to grasp and articulate.”
The rest of the journey bypasses in mutual silence, everyone lost in their heads. The closer we get to the Slaughter’s house, the more tense Damian, Hunter, and Kaige become. Their unease is contagious, spreading through our ranks until we’re all crawling out of our skins, expecting a blow to come from any direction at any second.
The paranoia is distracting as hell, and soon, I can’t even manage being nervous. Iwantsomething to happen, even if it’s awful, simply for the sake of alleviating this miserable state of anticipation. The people tailing us in the shadows of the dense trees aren’t even subtle about it; a sea of nameless faces, expressions warring between intrigue and disdain. Worse, when I force myself to meet a few of their stares, it’s to find their pupils blown despite the fact it’s the middle of the day. Sure,somemay be mated, but even if that’s the case, it shows that Damian was right.
