Several lines end up blurred as his laughter keeps him from remaining perfectly still. By the time she’s adding a tiny treasure map in the doodle’s hand, his little restraint breaks and he palms her cheeks, knocking the pen out of her hand as he pulls her in for a hard kiss. “Can you stop being amazing for five seconds? Seriously, punch them in the throat; they deserve it.”
Gently pulling back, she picks up the pen. “Exactly why I’m not. Throat punches might trick them into thinking we’re even, and would ease their guilty consciences. That might makethemfeel better, but not me.”
Slade already has his shirt sleeve rolled up in preparation by the time she faces him, but she snorts. “That’s not nearly enough space. Strip.” Pursing his lips, he deftly unbuttons his shirt, folding and setting it aside. “Lie on your stomach and settle in, this is going to take a while.”
After he’s situated, she straddles his hips, sitting on top of his ass as she leans in with her pen to start at his shoulders. From this angle I can’t see what she’s writing, only Slade’s face turned my way with his eyes closed. There’s a peaceful air about him, bracing himself for her lecture like it's his due, but Sabrina hit the nail on the head. It’s almost as if he’shappythat she’s about to finally lay into him.
Several agonizingly long minutes pass as Cin and I watch her use his entire back as a canvas for her impromptu essay. “There.” Sitting up, she slides off of him. “Pass me your phone? That way you’ll always have a permanent reminder handy to refer to.” Taking a couple of pictures, she lets Cinjin pull her back onto his lap as Slade sits up and takes his phone back. He begins to read in his head, but she interrupts, “Nope, out loud for the whole class, please, good sir.”
Wetting his lips, he takes his lashings in stride. "Reminder: unless they're children, other people's emotions are not my burden to help manage." He furrows his brow, but she simply gestures for him to keep reading. "Because the people in this pack are adults, and their emotional maturity and enforcing their personal boundaries are onthem.Speaking up when they need help is onthem,and I haven't failed anyone by not being able to magically read minds and know exactly what they need before they've even realized it themselves."
The look he gives her would make you think this was a break up speech. "You're supposed to be calling us out for how much we suck, not trying to make us feel better after we failedyou."
She gives him a sad smile. "Which is why it’s a better punishment. If you were actually the soulless monsters you claim to be, it wouldn’t be so easy to torture you.” Leaning back against Cinjin’s chest, she gestures to the phone in Slade’s hand. “Keep reading."
With a nod, he zooms into the next part of the picture. "The only way I've failed is by setting a terrible example. Sabrina has a penchant for matching people's energies, so seeing me take on everyone else's problems to the point that I don't even know who I am if I'm not taking care of someone, was detrimental to her idea of what an alpha is supposed to be after just becoming one herself. Now she's a hot fucking mess that's struggling to cope with everything that happened, angry, and really sad because all of her relationships are blowing up, but she doesn’t know how to fix them because she’s socially inept with a maxed out emotional bandwidth. Plus, the whole 'do a rain dance and bless us with more babies to auction off, yet claim we love' insanity.”
His voice tapers off into a whisper. “Note to self: If you want to be a better mate, stop making your identity revolve around everyone else's happiness and focus on your own for a change. Then Sabrina won't feel like your happiness hinges on her emotional state so she can have her long overdue, nervous breakdown without feeling guilty."
He looks up from his phone to find silent tears running down her face. “Mon soleil.” Palming the nape of her neck, he pulls her out of Cinjin's arms and into a crushing embrace, her first sob wracking her body before her cheek hits his chest.
I was an idiot to think any part of my life sucked before, because this?Thisis a living hell. Watching my mate's body shake with gut-wrenching sobs, not even able to comfort her without stealing her from between Slade and Cinjin. And after the things she was saying, I'm forced to admit that doing so would be forme;not her. I'm not what she needs right now.
Sabrina doesn'twantus to fix anything.
She's already spent a lifetime patching the cracks in her foundation until there were so many, everything was precariously held together and unstable. These last blows were too much to endure, so now there's no choice left except to watch everything she'd managed to hold together for so long fall apart.ThenI can step in to pick up whatever pieces survived, and help put her back together. But for now, the only thing any of us can do is watch over her as she finishes breaking.
Slade was wrong. Sabrina wasn't sent to be our salvation or ruin, we were meant to be her's.
Chapter 7
Sabrina
––––––––
As the sun drops closerto the horizon, sending a myriad of colors across the sky above the branches, it takes the heat of the day with it, but not my splitting headache. Now that we’re nearing the end of summer, the nights are cool enough that Bo comes over to drag the makeshift bench that Reid and I are sitting on closer to the fire before returning to his spot beside Slade, avoiding meeting my eye, and it sends a pang through my chest that has nothing to do with my wolf.
