If I didn’t already believe in the concept of magic, I would have no choice but to accept it now. There’s something ethereal about Sabrina that’s simply beyond what my mind is capable of comprehending.
My voice is gravelly as I say, “Then let’s see what we can do to make it easier on you, shall we?” Clearing my throat, I scoot closer, holding my palm up in offering. As she slides her hand into mine, I explain, “If you pull too much, I’ll draw it right back, so don’t panic if it requires a little give and take. I’d like to get you to the point that you can draw it in slowly instead of a landslide that makes you sick or knocks you out of commission.”
As she closes her eyes, I coach, “Breathe it in. A long, slow, deep breath that makes you stronger with the inhale. When you feel the first traces of energy, visualize severing the connection before continuing to draw in air.” She gets it down after only a few attempts. “See? You’re a natural. A hell of a lot faster than anyone I’ve ever met.”
Scoffing, she snarks, “You don’t need to feed my ego, it’s okay. I almost killed three people less than two weeks ago, so it isn’t exactly hard to look good compared to that.”
Waiting until she opens her eyes, I make sure she sees the sincerity in mine. “I’m not blowing smoke up your ass, here. Most of us spend our childhoods toying with our abilities and limits, and it’s not until we’re teenagers that we have such precise control. It’s hard to stop, Sabrina; the power boost is pretty damn intoxicating.”
Her hand flexes in mine before swiftly releasing it, a blush spreading across her cheeks. “Oh.”
It has to be a crime to look that godsdamned alluring. A siren, I tell you.
Before she pulls away from me completely, I get us back on task. “So, tell me if I’m on the right track, but I’m assuming all of those images and impulses are floating around loose in your brain? Sneaking up at random times to stab you when you’re not prepared?”
Her tongue darts out to wet her lips, and I track the motion like a man dying of thirst. “Exactly. And I think that’s why I picked up on your first lesson so quickly. You put things in terms that I can easily visualize, and I really appreciate it.”
You can’t kiss her, you can’t kiss her, you can’t kiss her.
“Then you’ll love this next part.” Taking a page out of my own book, I shove away my increasingly dirty thoughts to do what I actually came here to do; help her. “The same way you compartmentalize, visualize taking all of those thoughts floating around unchecked and throw them in a box. Instead of finding a spot on the shelf to collect dust and be dealt with later, though, you slide it just out of the way, far enough that you won’t trip over the box as you go about your normal day. You can do what you need to, but it’s not out of sight out of mind this time; you let those thoughts fester within their designated safe space where they can’t hurt you while keeping them in your line of sight. Similar to the way you leave alcohol to ferment in a barrel and come back to it only when you’re ready for a drink that’ll make your head spin.”
She’s leaning closer now, elbows rested on her knees and her chin on her clasped fingers. “That’s playing a dangerous game though, isn’t it? One wrong step, one stumble, and you could set off a domino effect as the boxes fly open; all hell would break loose.”
Bringing my lips to her ear, I whisper, “That’s what makes people afraid of us, Sabrina. We turn their pain into fuel, use their own suffering to completely obliterate them. Every toxic thought you take in, throw it to the side and refuse to look at it until you’rereallypissed off and want to make a point. Then reach into your reserves and set the box aflame, push yourself further than you knew you could go. Once you purge your system, you’ll feel more at peace, but empty. You’ve always felt like you were missing something, right? That’s because you’re one of us; pain makes you feel alive, even when it’s killing you.”
Kissing her cheek, I pull back and get to my feet before I get carried away, wanting to end things on a good note. “We’re a masochistic breed, us alphas. Our souls are hollow voids, and despite knowing how other people’s pain eats away at us, you’re desperate to take it on, like we’re destined to punish ourselves for existing.”
Pulling the bedroom door shut behind me, I call out, “I can’t wait to see what happens when you give up the control that you cling to like a lifeline. It might hurt, but I have a feeling you just might like it.”
Chapter 15
Sabrina
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Snapping my laptopshut, I roll my neck to work out the cracks with a groan. “Fuck, how long were we under this time?”
