In the brief time that I’ve known her, Sabrina takes a step back to process before reacting in most scenarios, yet contradictorily, is quick to temper. Defensive, yet not an angry person. She stands her ground and respects herself enough to hold firm to the boundaries that she’s set in place, likely a direct result of the woman on the other side of that phone.
“I don’t owe you a single thing. I’ve sacrificed my entire life in order to raise you, and look at you now; throwing yourself at any man that pays you a lick of attention. You’re supposed to be better than that, Sabrina. Better than the rest of them. Yet you’re simply... average. It’s disappointing, really, when I’d expected you to actually amount to something after how much I invested in you.”
Twisting the handle, I drop the bag and shove the door open, letting myself in. Sabrina’s back is to me, one hand braced on the top of the dresser across the room with her head bowed. Chest heaving as she takes slow, deep breaths, she seethes, “Yes, poor you. It must’ve been so draining the few times you actually attempted to parent. All that neglect really eats up time from your busy schedule.”
“You-”
“How often were we even home at the same time since Dad died?” she spits, growing more incensed. “Between school, work, and finding my way home from whatever new hellscape you decided to ditch me in, I’m impressed that you even remembered that I was alive half the time. Pretty sure you had some time after work to pick up a hobby if you’d really wanted, so don’t act like some victim that had every waking moment of your life eaten up by an ungrateful child.”
“WhywouldI spend any more time with you than necessary? You’re an abomination that kills everything you tou-”
Plucking the phone out of her hand, I end the call. She whirls around, cheeks and neck mottled red, and blinking back furious tears. The way that her body trembles, vibrating with barely restrained energy, has me tugging her against my chest before she even opens her mouth. She’s adamantly refusing to shift for whatever reason, but her other half is attempting to claw her way out by force to murder the thing that made her host so upset. The same way that Sabrina eased her mates through the transition so that their beasts didn’t ravage their counterparts beyond repair, she needs help shoving hers back into its cage until she’s mentally ready to unleash it into the world.
“Ssh, I’ve got you.”
Keeping my voice steady and calm, I imbue her wolf with a sense of security. It’s ten times more challenging than when I first met her, when her wolf was barely more than a wisp of consciousness, and even more difficult than I imagined to convince one as dominant as hers to cede control. Simultaneously, I siphon some of her feral energy into myself, but as a gradual trickle so as not to scare her off.
Several minutes pass by in silence, Sabrina’s face buried in my chest until her breathing eventually levels out and she whispers, “Why’d you hang up on her?”
Because I couldn’t kill her.
“She wasn’t giving you anything helpful anyway, only stressing you out to the point of spontaneously combusting. No point continuing a conversation that was going downhill fast.”
Releasing a heavy sigh, she pulls away. “Thanks. Not only for intervening, but for the mental bucket of ice water to help me get my shit together. I’m oka-” Abruptly, she cuts herself off, catching sight of the dresser that she was leaning on during the conversation.
The one with a blackened handprint seared into the surface.
We both stare at it for far too long, neither of us knowing what to say. Her mates may shift into beasts more akin to hellhounds than wolves, but we’ve dubbed them as such simply due to their size and the smoke that clings to their coats like a camouflage made of night air. None of them have displayed an inclination for anything flame related, and Sabrina...
She’s in human form. In the middle of the afternoon.
The others have mentioned that they believe with the right stressor they could shift during the day, but they’re reluctant to experiment unless it’s necessary in case there’s some terrible consequence since we’re all in uncharted territory, here. That in itself is an incredible concept to consider, butthis?
‘You’re an abomination that kills everything you touch.’Her mom knows. Whatever Sabrina is, that woman is well aware, yet is refusing to talk for some reason, would rather her daughter hate her than explain a damn thing.
“Is your mother always that delightful?”
Attention rapt on that damning handprint, she apologizes. “Pretty much. I’m sorry, by the way. I can typically keep myself in check when talking to her, so I’m not usually such an asshole, but,” she trails off, distracted.
Putting myself between her and the object of her distress, I lean against the dresser to conceal it from view before carrying on our conversation. “It’s harder than it used to be?” At her nod, I give a sympathetic smile. “I'm sure, what with your wolf being loose now, and all. Our emotions are more primal than you’re used to dealing with, so don’t beat yourself up over it. Hell, I’m impressed you didn’t chuck your phone at the wall and flip a table or scream into a pillow. Isn’t that what most humans would do, without even having someone inside of them chomping at the bit to get a piece of the action?”
Her small smile doesn’t reach her eyes, but those eyes are gradually showcasing more coral as she wrangles her wolf back under control, her pupils receding bit by bit. I was very careful after my conversation with Boden. While she needed help, I didn’t take over. All I did was take enough of the edge off to make things bearable, helped her find her footing so that she could finish dealing with the problem herself, simply with a support system.
“If it makes you feel better, my mom may not bethatbad, but we don’t have the best relationship, either.”
Interest piqued, she prompts, “How come?”
Gesturing for her to sit on the foot of the bed where her back will be to the dresser, I wait until she’s seated before taking a spot opposite her, a respectful distance away. “I’m the spitting image of one of my fathers. Unfortunately, they all passed several years ago, and naturally, it’s a sore spot for her.”
Strumming my fingers on my knee to dispel some of the energy thrumming through my veins, I make it seem as if I’m pausing for dramatic tension, when in reality, I need a second to sift through the images and impulses flitting through my mind. Pictures of the Hawthorne library filled with a sea of blood, bodies floating lifelessly on the surface. Of a starving teenage Sabrina as she traps a rabbit, turning off her emotions to cope with slitting its throat so that she doesn’t die in the freezing wilderness.
My fingers clench into a fist as I curb the desire to butcher someone whose face blurs from one to another in rapid succession, each visage taking a stab at her.
How does she deal with all of this and appear so... unaffected? Upbeat and sarcastic, masking it all with humor and a smile.
Even I need to exorcize those demons or contain them, can’t simply let them float around free in my mind. It’d drive me mad.
“Kaige?” She tucks a stray lock of hair behind her ear, frowning.“You don’t have to talk about it. Seriously, it’s okay.”
