Chapter 14
Sabrina
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Pulling my hair backinto a ponytail, I pop in my earbuds before firing off a text, jaw clenched with determination. While I know that the longer I ignore them, the more awkward things will get, I’m still not up to facing my... husbands... quite yet. Even if I had Slade’s number, I would have felt too guilty to bother him when it sounds like he has enough on his plate already, so I default to using Reid as a middle man for a little longer.
Hope my shadow brought his running shoes, because I’m going on a jog. I’m going stir crazy and need to get out of the house for a while.
His reply comes through as quickly as it always does.Ah, a cruel and unusual punishment. I like it. You know, since it’s not me lol.
I smile down at my phone.I’ll make sure to be back before sunset, to be safe. And I switched out the contacts in my panic alarm app so that it’ll send out an alert to the three of you instead of calling the police.
... Three of us?
Biting my lip, I point out,I don’t have Slade’s number. And I really don’t know where he stands on this whole issue anyway beyond going along for the ride.
This time, a solid minute passes before he responds.Might be a good idea to have a sit down soon to hash everything out, then.
Sighing, my thumbs race across the screen.I know. Breakfast at your place in the morning?
I’ll pick up stuff for mimosas tonight, and you at seven tomorrow? Then we can blame anything stupid we say on the alcohol, or get you blackout drunk so we can have a do over.
Chuckling to myself, I start to feel a little better about the meeting I’ve built up so much in my head.It’s a date.
Bringing up my playlist, I strap my phone to my arm and take a steadying breath, stepping out into the hall. I descend the stairs slowly, not sure if someone will be waiting for me outside of the building after my text to Reid, or if they’ll be staying in the background during my run, and not sure which I’m actually hoping for. When the late afternoon sun hits my face, I shrink back like a mole person after spending the last two weeks locked inside of my apartment in the darkness.
There are a few dozen people out and about on the sidewalk, but I don’t spot any of the faces that I’m looking for. Releasing a long breath, I crank up the volume to block out everything besides my thoughts.
Trust exercise. Literally.
Setting off at a slow jog to warm up, I can still make out the faint slap of my shoes against the cement, so I max out my volume until it’s absolutely deafening. I can’t hear the slap of my shoes against the concrete, my breaths, or the cars driving by. I don’t even know who’s watching over me, only that I’m completely at their mercy. Because if I want this to work out, I have to trust them. Completely.
I don’t have a damn clue about the inner workings of these people, the schemes, or pack politics. Even if I were to run, start a new life a country away, if what they’re saying is true, someone would find me eventually because of my scent. There’s nowhere that would be safe enough that I could let my guard down, and that sort of lifestyle sounds even more depressing than my current one. While I could isolate myself, if someone found me, there’d be no one around to turn to for help. I could be forced into a shotgun marriage with a group of potentially cruel strangers and no one would care because Ihaveno one that cares about what happens to me.
At least, I didn’t use to.
Here, though, I have an idea of who’s a threat. I have people to teach me what I need to know to survive this while actually having a life, rather than a life sentence. It may be overwhelming, but I don’t have to face an insurmountable issue alone, like I would if I ran.
You’ll depend on them completely, and give them the ability to destroy you.My mother’s voice echoes through my head as if she were standing right next to me.You’ll have nothing unless they allow it, no money of your own. You won’t be a person anymore, you’ll be their whore, and at their mercy. What about when they grow tired of putting in the effort? You’ll have nothing,benothing except their broken toy that they’d rather torment than let someone else have you.
“That’s not true.” Rounding the corner, I pick up my pace, my muscles burning. “I’m not helpless. Skills don’t disappear, just get rusty. Even if it was a decade from now, if I had to run with nothing but the clothes on my back, I’d be okay. I’ve always been okay with having nothing. Maybe not happy, but I make do with what I have.”
Having nothing and being no one isn’t the end of the world, it’s a fresh slate.
A few people give me annoyed side eyes and I clamp my mouth shut, not realizing I was talking to myself. Pushing myself harder, I bypass the construction zone beside Mal Tech, glancing out of habit, even if I can’t hear that asshole’s comments. He’s not here though, thankfully, and I’m able to run right on by without incident, thrilled that all of the bad luck thrown my way is finally beginning to tip back in my favor.
Frowning as I contemplate it, my steps slow to a jog.They wouldn’t... would they?Stopping completely, I catch my breath, taking another look around, but I still don’t find who I’m looking for.If they were following me to and from work, they’d have seen this guy several times. Hell, Cin was right there the day that I quit, heard the sort of things the jackass was spewing.
With one more cursory glance around, I start jogging again, mulling it over. I’m not actually upset, more surprised that they wouldn’t have mentioned it if they got involved. No, actually, except for Bo, none of them have really talked about that side of their lives. Besides, how would you even bring something like that up? ‘Oh, by the way, I slit a few throats on my way to pick up the dry cleaning today. Can you pass the salt?’
Snorting, I shake my head, rounding the corner at the next block to loop back as the sun begins to fall steadily. Red, orange, and gold paint across the sky, the waning light guiding my way home and sending long shadows dancing across the sidewalk like demonic fingers attempting to trip me up.
A chill runs down my spine, the acute awareness of being watched suddenly making my skin crawl, but it’s more of a phantom caress than ominous. My own words taunt the fringes of my mind, helping me past the last mental block that I have standing in my way.
Isn’t that what everyone secretly wants? Someone that would stick around, even if things were hard? That refuses to abandon you even if you push them away because you’re scared?
