But... am I? Am I honestly mad that there are people fighting for me when everything else is falling apart? Slade broke into my apartment, but it was only to make sure I hadn’t been abducted, or decided to give my toaster a bath. Even when he knew I might be mad that he crossed the invisible boundary line, he was determined to make sure that I was okay. And while I was at odds with myself, Cinjin and Boden were outside watching over me, despite their own struggles with the situation.
It hits me like a sledgehammer, and all of my tears dry up in horror. “I’m the one that took the choice fromthem. I’m the one that bit them, that claimed them. They aren’t the monsters here; I am.”
Chapter 13
Slade
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“You’re no good to herif you get arrested,” I point out, though in all honesty, I’m not faring much better.
Boden sighs, rising from the bottom of the stairwell in Sabrina’s apartment building where he’s been seated for the last four hours, thumbing the mark on his lip and looking like a beaten puppy. “She talks to herself, you know.” Offering him a hand up, I listen like it’s my penance, acting as if his words don’t lance through my chest. “Reid’s right. I don’t think she actually likes being alone, it’s just all that she knows. Whenever she’s not talking to herself, she’s got the TV or music on.”
Clapping my brother on the back, I lead him out of the building, tossing the bag of trash in one of the bins by the stairs on our way across the street to where the SUV is parked. “She isn't alone, she has us, whether or not we’re physically in the room with her. And as soon as she's had time to wrap her head around this mess, we'll be waiting to bring her home with us where she belongs. She trusts us to protect her while she falls apart. Not shutting us out, simply figuring out how all of the pieces fit together now that her life’s exploded. It’s understandable, and she’s not protesting us taking care of her. This is agoodthing, Bo, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now."
He simply nods, though it's clear that he isn't buying it. Boden's... well, devastated is too kind of a word. He doesn't love easily, but he loves hard. And Sabrina walking out minutes after I had to wake him up and tell him that he was even marked in the first place? He's not holding up well, desperately needing someone to tell him how to fix a situation that simply doesn’t have any clear-cut answers.
Betas aren’t the best at being proactive or making the hard calls, but they’re damn near unstoppable once given direction. They need a purpose to thrive, throwing themselves all in to do whatever needs to be done, no matter how difficult or impossible. But they need someone to give them a mission, something to hyper-fixate on, or they’re lost, locking up with indecision rather than risk picking the wrong path and fucking things up even worse.
He attempts to slide into the driver's seat, but after a stern look, moves to the passenger side with a sigh. He's in no shape to drive; neither of them are. And now that they've ignored my multiple requests to trade off with someone for days, they've forced my hand.
Reid is parked behind us to take over for the night, and his twin doesn’t spare him so much as a glance in greeting. Instead, Cin is seated behind me with the side of his head pressed against the glass, staring out of the SUV blankly with a lifelessness in his eyes that genuinely scares me. While Bo’s wrecked, wanting to storm into Sabrina's apartment and convince her that she belongs with us, to be given the exact steps he needs to take to end this entire ordeal, Cinjin’s simply... broken. The fire that I typically curse for causing me endless problems is completely gone, leaving a shell of a man behind that I barely recognize, a version of himself that I haven’t seen since he was a kid.
Rather than leave right away, I give them a few more minutes, wishing there was anything I could do or say that might help. It's my job, taking care of my family, especially when they're in no shape to take care of themselves. But the only thing that could make any of this better is across the street, suffering in equal silence, but without anyone to lean on.
"Reid will call if anything changes."
Cin sits up, reaching for the handle. "I'm going to sit with h-"
"No. You're not." I despise the sharp command that comes out of my mouth, knowing full well that they'll hate me for a while, but better me than themselves. "Neither of you have slept in four days. What are you going to do if someone actually shows up here to try and take her? You'll be dead before your feet hit the sidewalk, and she’ll be screwed because of your carelessness. Don’t put any more guilt on her shoulders by letting her see what a mess you are; she’s relying on you to keep your shit together so that she doesn’t have to."
A low growl slips from Bo that I overrule by starting the car. "Sleep. Eat. And when you can actually think straight, start figuring out what we’re going to do long term to keep her happy. If lavish gifts make her uncomfortable, what might she like instead? Which room are we going to set up as hers? What do we need to do to get it ready?" Giving them something to keep their minds busy, I pull away from the curb.
Boden shoves open his door, forcing me to slam on the brakes with a curse. “And when she finally comes out, only to discover that we abandoned her?” he demands. “It’s the only godsdamned thing we can do right now; show her that we aren’t going to make her face this alone. That she’s worth fighting for. We can’t do that if we aren’t here when she realizes that she needs us.”
As he begins to climb out of the car, I break, curling my fingers around his wrist in an unrelenting grip. He jerks his arm in an attempt to free himself with a snarl, but it quickly ends on a pained hiss. My palm burns as I mentally reach into his chest, seeking the feral wolf that’s snapping his jaws at nothing, as manic as his exhausted host.
