Unbuttoning the cuffsof my final sleeve, I shed my suit jacket as the elevator door opens. What was supposed to be a relatively quick meeting ran three damn hours over, and I’m exhausted. Though my bed is calling my name, I seek out Scarlett. Not only because she’s the best vision to wake up or fall asleep to, but she’s been trapped up here all day with no one to talk to. After being forced to live so long in silence, the phantom cacophony of screams haunting her day and night as her memories return, it kills me to think of her sitting up here all alone.
I’d give anything to bring her with me to my office, where she could keep me company as she became lost in her games while I endured an endless parade of people pitching ideas, shoving stacks of documents my way to be reviewed. But until I can find a way to turn ‘shifter’ into a perfume line, I can’t risk it. Every shifter in the building recognizes Hendrix’s scent; it’s not like fooling strangers in a department store, or out on the street. It’s a warning to other shifters nearby that the person covered in their scent is off limits. Whether it’s a lover, a child of a mixed species pack, or a friend, it means if you touch them, there’s going to be hell to pay.
But here, with no underlying shifter scent of her own, people will assume human or mage, and her vivid eye color will shoot both theories out of the water. So for now, until I can figure out the next step, she needs to stay where I know she’s safe.
Frowning when I see that she’s not in her room, I head over to check the bath, but the door’s wide open. “Scarlett?”
“In here,” she replies, and my eyebrows jump to my hairline as I backtrack to my room.
She’s sitting cross legged in the center of my bed, fisting the blanket like she means to pry genuine sapphires from the color by force. Tossing my jacket on the floor and kicking off my shoes, I crawl onto the mattress, kneeling in front of her and settling my palms on her tense shoulders.
“I’m so sorry I’m late, love, I didn’t mean to worry you. I need to get you a phone so-”
“I want you to mark me.” My ears start ringing as the silence following her words becomes deafening. Wiping her sweaty palms on the blanket as she releases it, she squirms. “Malcolm? Do you-” she swallows “-if you still want, I mean.”
Her anxiety has me snapping out of my shocked state and reaching out to cup the side of her face, thumb stroking over her cheek. “What brought this on?”
A flash ofsomethingcrosses her eyes, and for the thousandth time, I wish our bond was established so that I could get a read on her. But now here she is, asking, and all I feel is a sense of dread instead of relief. She’s wound impossibly tight to the point a harsh breeze would blow her over, and struggling to meet my eye. I want my mate desperately, but I need her to want me to, not just... relent, like she’s tired of fighting.
When she doesn’t answer, I lean in, pressing a chaste kiss to her lips. “Talk to me, beautiful. Did something happen today?” As she starts trembling, I try to lighten the tension. “Because if you’re just incredibly horny, you do know that I can fuck you six ways to Sunday, no mark necessary, right?”
Her trembling ceases with her breathy laugh and I mentally sigh in relief. Continuing to stroke her cheek without pressing the issue, I wait for her to be ready to talk now that the edges of the ominous cloud have begun to dissipate.
Straightening her spine, she looks me dead in the eye, hers glassy and hard with determination. “It was hard not to bite that shifter when he was scent marking me.”
My eyes darken immediately. “He frightened you? I promise you, Scarlett, Hendrix is loyal and kind; he’d never hurt you, nor would I allow it if he so much as tried. But if he makes you uncomfortable, I’ll make sure you never have to see him again and I’ll arrange for a diff-”
“He smelled good!” she blurts out as her cheeks start to mirror her name. “I wasn’t scared, I wanted to feed off of him. I’m glad it happened, though, because I’ve gotten spoiled up here and sort of forgot what it was like being around other people. It was a good test of restraint before we went outside, and it made the rest of the smells less overwhelming after having my face shoved right against the dude’s throat.”
Leaning my forehead against hers, I resume my steady stroking. “I’m so damn proud of you, love, that can’t have been easy on you. Is that why you’ve been subdued the last couple of days? It shook you up a bit, worried you might hurt someone?”
Her lip wobbles as she pulls away and I frown, but let her go. Gods, I wish I could read her so I could skip the guessing games and justknowwhat she needed.
Voice watery as she fights tears, she says, “But feeding now that I’m not feral is-” she’s forced to pause as she chokes back a sob and I finally crack, her distress sending a physical pang through me.
Wrapping my arms around her, I guide us to lie on our sides, holding her tightly against me. “Ssh, deep breaths for me, love. It’s alright, you’re alright.”
A few hot tears soak into my shirt, so I stroke her back, hoping I can pull her back before she breaks down. She’s hovering right on the precipice, and with a few minutes of steady breathing, she regains control of herself, drying her few tears on my shirt. I keep her pinned against my chest for good measure, hoping it’ll be easier to talk if she doesn’t have to look at me, anxiously watching my face for signs that I’m upset by whatever she’s trying to say.
“Want to tell me what’s got you so upset now? Or do you want me to start guessing and you can tell me if I’m on the right track or not?”
She grips my shirt in a tight fist, burrowing her face against my chest to hide. “Now that I’m not feral, feedings are, well, you know.”
My face stays scrunched up until it suddenly clicks and my eyes widen with understanding. “You’re worried that it’s not the mate part, but the actual feeding. So now it’s a confusing jumble of hunger and sexual hunger?” At her jerky nod, I cautiously press, praying I’m not reading this wrong and about to put an idea in there that isn’t already. “So you’re beating yourself up because you had a visceral reaction to Kasen and aren’t sure if it was hunger or lust, and you’re worried that in the heat of the moment if you had to feed off of someone else, you might lose control and have sex with them even if you were mated?”
She groans. “It’s got to be hunger, right? Because fated mates don’t get crushes after meeting their mate?” My stomach flips, because she’s completely right. Which means either vampires have yet another thing working against them, or more likely...
“You gorgeous, amazing, anxiety ball, let me make a few things perfectly clear.” She starts to retreat, and I jerk her back against me, not wanting her to start crying again. “One, I strive to never have you in a position where you’re so hungry that you’re at risk of losing control. Between myself, packing blood bags in your lunch box, or that you can eat regular food to stave off the cravings, you’ll be fine.”
“And two-” my fingers dig into her back and I have to forcibly lessen the pressure, the sound of the outlet surging behind me a muted distraction. “If, and that’s a heavyifsince we’re speaking strictly hypothetically right now, you ever find yourself on the brink of starvation or in a dangerous situation, do whatever you need to in order to survive. Yes, the thought of you sleeping with someone outside of whatever unit we find ourselves in makes me want to throw up. But there’s also a difference between you being desperate to survive, and sleeping with someone else because you’re indifferent to my feelings and don’t value our relationship. While it would be rough, we’d figure it out somehow. But if the choice was you dry humping someone so you could make it back to me safe? Love, I can’t live in a world that doesn’t have you in it.”
Her voice is muffled against my chest. “Maybe you just conditioned me to associate feedings with foreplay.”
Smiling softly, I roll so she’s pinned beneath me, my hands braced beside her head, caging her in. “I would apologize, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t flattered.”
Bending down to kiss her, I wait until she melts into me, finally relaxing and lets some of her fears subside. Nipping at her lip, I swallow her gasp, pulling away with a grin before I sigh, knowing we need to hash the rest of this out before I get carried away.
"Explain this one to me, because I'm a little lost. You suddenly want my mark because you wanted to assuage your guilt? Like you owed me something to even the scales, or something equally ridiculous? Because I'll be completely honest, Scarlett, this is a big deal for me, the same way it should be for you. If we're not on the same page about that, I'd rather wait."
