We’ve spent so long trying to get them to the point where their pasts don’t completely control them anymore, to show them that they can have lives that they can actually enjoy without a dark cloud constantly hovering over their shoulders. All it took was one trigger to have them regressing again, getting sucked down into the dark pits they’ve tried so hard to fill with anything that might make them feel better. Alcohol, hookups, fights, hobbies; but no matter how much they dumped into the void, it never seemed to shrink.
They didn’t have Risa before, though. It might have been her story that got them thinking about their own traumas, but I doubt they’ll allow themselves to spiral too far this time, not when she needs them. They wouldn’t want her to start beating herself up and blaming herself for upsetting them, to think that she won’t be comfortable telling them anything in the future because of it. She gives them a sense of purpose that they’ve never had before, and I think it will make all the difference; for them, and for Risa.
Which means I can’t sleep, having to keep my guard up while theirs are down, and knowing it’s entirely possible Marcus’ brothers are stupid enough to try and get revenge for his death. I glance out the window, pushing the curtain aside and staring out into the center of the clearing. We let them collect the body two days ago and they apologized on his behalf, saying all of the right things for people that value keeping the peace they need for their survival.
But they couldn’t conceal the hatred in their eyes as they did so.
A pained whimper has me halfway to my bedroom before the curtain even falls back into place, pushing open the door a few seconds later. I’m both relieved that it’s unlocked and not. On one hand, she trusts us, on the other, while I’m paranoid of someone possibly attacking her again, I’d feel better knowing there was an extra blockade between her and whatever idiot might break into the house. Not that the feeble lock would do much to keep anyone in this settlement at bay, but a few seconds can mean the difference between life and death.
“Risa?”
The tension leaves my shoulders in a rush when I find her still asleep, tossing and turning. Tangled in the sheets, her restricted movements have another of those heart wrenching sounds slipping from her, caught in a nightmare that she can’t fight her way out of.
Crossing the room, I gently shake her shoulder, but she doesn’t respond. Her heart is racing a mile a minute as she rolls to the side, mumbling nonsense that can’t even be strung together into a mockery of a sentence. Gently, I unwrap her bindings, and on her next thrash, I barely avoid getting a black eye. But as she senses her freedom, her heart stops beating so quickly, settling back down.
I only make it two steps towards the door before stopping. Another whimper and a pleading ‘no’ comes on the next thrash of her head, and I head straight back to the bed, giving up all this ‘respectful distance’ bullshit to crawl in behind her. Ensuring she’s free of the blanket, I pull her back against my chest, feeling worlds better than I have in weeks merely from the contact. Swiping the tangled mess of her hair from her face, I brush my knuckles over her cheek.
I keep my voice a low murmur. “Ssh, I’ve got you. You’re alright.”Alternating smoothing a hand over her hair or arm, I keep up a steady stream of assurances and praise until she settles down. She releases a soft sigh of contentment, and honestly, it’s the first time I actually feel like I’ve managed to do anything right by this girl.
Wrapping an arm around her, my palm settles over her stomach, holding her close. And as I rest my head on the pillow behind her, the irritation that’s been riding me for days fades away, exhaustion hitting me hard. Everything might be falling apart around us, but if there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s holding on to my family’s broken pieces until they’re ready to try taking them back.
Tightening my grip, I burrow my face in the crook of her neck, her scent a comfort as I start to drift off. I’ll hold her together until she finally realizes what I’ve been trying to convince the others for years.
There’s nothing to actually fix, because they aren’t broken. They just need someone to love them while they figure that out.
***
Risa’s ass grinds backinto me as she squirms, stirring awake. Groggy and still half asleep, I don’t open my eyes, tightening my hold and buying myself a few more minutes before I have to move.
She pauses, realizing that she isn’t alone. “Bane?”
“Mmm,” is all that I manage, not wanting to wake up.
Drifting back off for a bit, when I finally accept that I need to get up, her hand is covering mine over her stomach, fingers interlaced with mine. Leaning forward, I kiss the side of her neck.
“Morning.”
“It’s still dark,” she corrects, subtly tilting her head as if giving me an invitation. “Stryker’s snoring finally drive you away?”
Not one to deny her, with my next kiss, I rake my teeth over her skin. “You could hear it even in here?”
Shifting her thighs, I gently bite her shoulder as she chuckles, “I’m sure the entire clearing can on some nights.”
Her amusement turns into a soft moan that has me growing harder than I already am. Slowly, her fingers still laced with mine, I slide my hand lower. Her shirt’s already bunched up to her waist from her tossing and turning, and soon, my thumb brushes over the waistband of the boxers she’s wearing as sleep shorts.
When she doesn’t give any sign of being uncomfortable, I slide my hand above the fabric. Removing her hand from mine, she shifts one leg so it’s on top of mine, giving me a better angle with us lying on our sides.
She might want someone to chase away her demons, or they very well could have already disappeared. So that I don’t risk dredging up the memories, I gloss over the fact that her nightmares brought me into her bed.
“Then you’ll understand I couldn’t survive another night in those horrendous conditions.” Kissing away the sting from my bite, I start circling her clit above her underwear. “And my own bed sounded so much more enticing.”
Craning her head back with a soft sigh, conversation cuts off as I quicken my pace. She huffs in protest when I stop, and with a smirk of amusement, I lick my fingers before slipping them beneath her waistband, resuming my ministrations on bare skin. Gently stroking over her slit, I simply toy with her for now, enjoying the way she squirms against me.
As the seconds turn into minutes, her hips arch into me with her frustration. “Condom?” She inhales sharply as I slip two fingers inside of her without warning, continuing to work her sensitive bundle of nerves with my thumb.
“Shifter women have to beonthe pill if they’re trying to get pregnant; natural borns as well as turned. Something about the shift in biology messes with women’s systems to make natural pregnancy incredibly rare. One theory is that our advanced healing senses the foreign intrusion and attacks it before it can take root. Or even if it manages to, it’s a drain on the body, tricking it into believing you’re sick, so it quickly rectifies the situation.”
“And the other?” she asks on a gasp as I hook my fingers within her, quickening my pace.
