I expected the fist that embeds in my eye socket, but it doesn’t make it hurt any less. Worth it though.
Nineteen
Esmerelda
Starting to roll over, I promptly flop onto my back again. Groggily, I pry one eye open, enough to see the hulking form huddled up on top of my feet. As if he can feel my eyes on him, the wolf lifts his body enough for me to roll over, rearranging himself to curl against my calves and passing back out a moment later.
I thought he was joking earlier.
But nope, Hawk snuck into my bed naked on day one. Either I was exhausted as hell to not wake up at him crawling up, or my subconscious didn’t deem him a threat. Aw hell, who am I kidding? I’m starved for affection and find it endearing instead of creepy. And Hawk just feels…safe, despite being a nighttime prowler.
Shutting my eyes, I go back to sleep, even if a part of me is tempted to pat the bed beside me, wishing he’d move closer. I promptly squash that part down though, not wanting to come across as needy from the get go.
* * *
“Did you sleep there all night?”
Rheyas grunts as he gets to his feet, rolling his stiff shoulders without complaint. I mean, he’s been sleeping on the floor since he arrived, but never in the room I hijacked, with me. “Someone needs to keep an eye on the wolf.”
As easy as breathing, Hawk shifts back, head lying on his crossed arms and naked ass in the air. “Can’t blame ‘ya; you never know when I’m going to do something cool. I wouldn’t want to risk taking my eyes off of me either.”
“At least put some pants on,” Rheyas demands and I don’t even bother to conceal my laughter.
“Says the man that owns maybe two pairs. I thought you were so comfortable with nudity that it didn’t even faze you?”
Narrowing his eyes, he knows I backed him into a corner. “It’s different.”
Raising an eyebrow, I scoot back in bed so that I’m sitting up against the headboard more comfortably. “Because it’s not you that’s naked in bed with me?” Patting the comforter beside me, I slide over to the side. “Plenty of space.”
Sighing, he runs a hand through his snow-white hair. “I can’t.”
“No pressure,” I backpedal, not wanting to deal with brush offs before breakfast. “Just throwing it out there as an option if you get sick of the floor. You had no problems lying with me out in the woods, and now that I’ve gotten some showers in, it’s probably more tolerable if you managed to suffer through before is all I meant.”
“Don’t,” Hawk whispers, so quietly that I’m not sure if I heard him right until he speaks louder, devoid of any of the humor from yesterday as he glares at Rheyas. “You see what you’re doing to her, right? Making her spiral and doubt herself, try to figure out what she did wrong and why you’re keeping so much distance even after you’ve decided to stick around? And you’re just going to let her silently beat herself up rather than explain? It might be hard for the frost giant to have feelings, but it’s harder for her to bear them.”
Rather than get angry, Rheyas pauses in silent contemplation. I’m honestly half expecting him to just stalk out of the room and leave. But instead, he scrubs a hand down his face, glancing up at the ceiling like he’s praying for patience or to find the words he seems to struggle with. “It’s different because back then, you needed to not freeze to death. Here, you’re fine.”
Biting the inside of my cheek, I nod. “That’s fine, like I said; no pressure. I’m not trying to make you uncomfortable.”
His low growl cuts me off as he clenches his fist, hostile, violet eyes pinning me in place. “So if I climb into your bed at night, it’s not to keep you alive. There aren’t exactly many females out in the wilds, Rel.”
At first it just sounded like he’s worried that it would be admitting doing so would be something more to him, that sleeping with me is equivalent to a declaration that he’s here to stay. And for a man that made it clear he’s still torn on that front, I can see why he’d want to hold off unless he was sure if that’s the way he’s viewing it. But his last statement makes me pause.
“So you’ve never,” I trail off, seeing if I’m on the right track.
Hawk has mercy on the guy. “The mating instinct is strong, beautiful. Would be really easy to get carried away when it’s already fucking with our instincts, trying to overrule our common sense. To someone that hasn’t had sex before, the prospect becomes even more daunting, potentially dangerous. He’s got no clue how he’d react in the heat of the moment and is worried he’ll get carried away and hurt you.”
Rheyas refuses to meet my eye, his mouth a tight, stubborn line. Rolling out of bed, I walk right up to him, heart hammering a mile a minute.
“And that’s exactly how you know you wouldn’t.” He turns to face me, unspeaking. “Because you worry about it enough you’d be careful not to rip my throat out or tear my arm off.”
Finally, he snarls, “I’m not afraid of disemboweling you.”
Hawk loses it, laughing and howling even as he falls off of the bed. Through his hysterical tears, he gasps out, “May want to eat you, gorgeous, but definitely not like that.” He starts to push himself upright, laughing through his tears. “Can’t. Breathe.” A few more seconds. “Alpha’s are a stronger breed, but he’s not worried he’ll choke you out, just that he’ll break you.”
Oh.Oh.
I turn to look at Rheyas, grinning. “I can promise you, they’re made to take a good pounding. Me too; I encourage it, really. Remember the other day when I mentioned girls weep with joy? Seriously, go nuts.”
