I glance at Ian, whose face is pinched tight with self-deprecation and blatant worry that I’m going to go along with Rheyas’ plan after he pushed me away, even if we’re on track to try and mend things. We haven’t yet though, and Rheyas isn’t wrong. This last week has pretty much sucked.
“No.”
He blinks at me. “What do you mean, no?”
I shrug a single shoulder. “I mean no. You don’t get to decide what I deserve; I do. And I deserve-“ I glance around the room, making sure to meet both men’s eyes on my perusal, “-better than this. I don’t feel good, so I’m going back to bed. And when I wake up, the three of us are going to sit down and have an actual conversation about what to do about this mess. You’re adults; act like it.”
Turning on my heel, I walk back to my room, closing and locking the door behind me and leaving them to either kill each other or abandon ship. But for people that seem to want what’s best for me, they’re having a girl half delirious with fever play peacekeeper, and that’s bullshit.
Their issues that they’re projecting are their own hang ups. While I’d happily help them figure out how to process and cope, to work through some of that baggage and put it somewhere they can process, because that’s what matesdo,I just…I can’t right now. I’m not their therapist, and I’m not responsible for fixing them.
Being in a relationship means being broken together, and it’s not always fifty-fifty. Sometimes all anyone has left to give is ten percent, and the other person rises to the challenge, shouldering the burden when the other is exhausted so they can have a break before switching off. But we’re not in a relationship, and they’re so caught up in their own heads, it’s like I’m not even here.
How in the hell did I end up with two mates only to be sleeping alone in the next room?
Fourteen
Ian
‘You deserve someone that can make you happy, and from what I’ve witnessed this past week, it isn’t him.’Extending a hand to Ares, Rheyas’ words continue to echo around my skull, the living room a silent pit of wreckage; both from the furniture, and the damage done with Rel.
The gashes on his side have already slowed their bleeding, a perk of being a shifter. Not so quick that you could watch the flesh knit back together, but by tomorrow, he won’t have so much as a scratch on him, the lucky bastard. My back, on the other hand, is going to be sore for a week.
She didn’t deny it either,orhis claim of being her mate.
It’s not unusual to end up with multiple mates. Hell, half of the shifters are drawn to forming small packs or prides like they’re drawn to each other by a weaker version of the Fates’ influence. Brothers and sisters bonded through trials rather than blood, as if their souls were reborn and still seeking each other out. It’s not a romantic bond, simply a familial one. Nine times out of ten, if one member of their unit ends up miraculously coming across their fated mate, she’ll have the same pull to the people within the pack.
But this man practically screams ‘leave me the fuck alone’, not particularly the sort that would be drawn to the idea of existing as part of a group. And hell, if he’s able to look at his fated mate and turn even her away? The guy is better at being the Grinch that Gavin compared me to.
“You could have given us a heads up about the mate thing,” Ozzy scoffs, looking around at the damage. “That changes the situation a hell of a lot and threw us for a loop on how to approach things. Rin made it sound like someone broke into your house just to murder you.”
Ares has his attention solely focused on the stranger in the room, not that I blame him. The simple fact that he was able to not only hold his own against Ares, but subdue both him and Ozzy without breaking a sweat? Pretty fucking alarming. All we can hope for is that whatever he can change into, it’s something that’s easily mauled by a tiger. Otherwise…
If he was bound and determined, he could easily grab Esmerelda and leave. He didn’t try to actually hurt Ares or Ozzy thus far, just get them out of the way. If it were to turn into a genuine fight, it would be a bloodbath, of that I’m certain.
“To be fair, I’m pretty sure he wants to,” I mumble, heading to the kitchen for a trash bag to start grabbing the splintered pieces and clean up.
I can feel his eyes on me in silent confirmation, simply leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. Yet he doesn’t attack again, and the more I think on it, it only started once I called Rel my mate and set him off. Where my magic acts up around my mate, a shifter’s territorial instincts ride them hard, driving their actions. And everything he’s said…isn’t exactly wrong.
With a sigh, I drop the bag, leaning against the wall and thumping the back of my head. “With good reason too; he has a valid point. I haven’t made her happy, driven a wedge between us because I was scared. I left her alone when she was sick, even though she’s said there’s a target on her back, and I couldn’t do shit to protect her in my own home.
“All I’ve managed to do is give her somewhere to sleep and something to eat. If the only thing I’m good for is providing financially, I’ve failed at that too. She had to get a job on a schedule she clearly hates to help have money coming in, since I was already living paycheck to paycheck before adding another person into the mix.”
Ozzy cocks his head. “So you’re willing to give up your mate just because it’s hard?”
Risking a quick look at Rheyas’ stony face, I see the same resignation in his eyes that’s reflected in mine. “No, I’m willing to give her up so that she can be happy.” I might be imagining it, but something flickers on the shifter’s face that looks the smallest bit like respect.
“You’re making a mistake.” Ozzy shakes his head, dropping into the only chair that survived. “You think she’s unhappy now? How the hell do you think she’s going to be if you officially reject her? You might be willing to deal with that agonizing pain, consider it your punishment to ease your conscience, but she’s going to be feeling the same thing.” He turns from me to Rheyas. “If you actually want her to be happy, quit thinking about yourselves and try thinking abouther.”
Ozzy doesn’t look the least bit bitter about getting his ass kicked. If anything, now that they know it’s a mate issue, they seem to almost pity the man, sympathizing since they get it better than anyone. Rin is completely human, not a spark of magic to her name. Rheyas may be freaking out about Esmerelda being vulnerable, but at least she has some abilities. Ares, Osiris, and Cole’s mate has nothing standing between her and a cruel world but the three of them.
Ares walks across the room and down the hall to raid my kitchen, Rheyas tracking his every movement since the second he stepped foot in the hall to get there, putting himself between him and Rel. Ares returns a minute later with an entire jar of moonshine in his hand, bypassing him to take up a post on the wall near Ozzy.
He takes a long drink like it’s a simple bottle of beer, not even flinching despite it being harsh enough to burn off someone’s eyebrows. “Why do you think we form prides, idiots? No one can be everything a person needs; it’s just not feasible, and that’s a hell of a burden to expect someone to bear. You can’t watch your mate every second of the day, work, handle all of the emotional junk, and still have time to do what you enjoy.”
Another long drink before he sighs. “You don’t stop existing as a person when you’re in love, forced to lose yourself to be anything and everything they could possibly need. That would be fucking exhausting. You don’t exist simply to serve them.”
Ozzy hops to his feet, stealing a drink before passing it back. “It’s like any other relationship, just…better. The fates deemed you were made foreach other,not that you were created to be her sex slaves or piggy banks. If you’re mates, then it doesn’t just mean she’s yours, it means you’re hers too. Give and take and communication are key.
