We were so goddamn lucky this time. And luck strikes with the same frequency as lightning; rarely in the same spot twice.
“The queen requests Cambria’s presence,” one of Achlys’ personal guards declares, hands in her pockets casually.
Luce’s hand tightens on the doorframe and I watch him bite his tongue. I don’t need to be a telepath to know where his thoughts are at, because we’re completely in sync with our distaste on this one. But unlike our last experience being summoned by a queen, I don’t feel like curling up in a ball of hopelessness.
It’s different this time.I’mdifferent. And though I have no interest in playing the games of frightened immortals, I have no intention of losing them either.
One scared of losing her power, and the other of losing her people. Fear breeds recklessness, and I know better than to trust Achlys simply because she’s treated us with more kindness than we’re used to. She was blatant in the fact that it’s because she wants to stay in our good graces, to offer food and shelter in exchange for protection for her kingdom. And if she doesn’t flinch telling someone to their face that she’s using them, I have to wonder the depths of secrets she deems worth keeping.
“Sure, just let me get dressed.”
Lucien wastes no time closing the door in the fae’s face, expression pinched as he turns to me. “You’re not at her beck and call.”
“Well I would hope not.” He follows me up the stairs, heading for our room. “I better be getting paid a hell of a lot more if I’m a call girl for royalty.”
He grips my wrist, pulling me to a stop. I turn to face him, those amber eyes tortured. Atlas filled me in on our way back from the spring, so at least I had some forewarning. I’d been glimpsing small cracks in his stoic armor over recent weeks, but this is nothing in comparison. This is a burst dam and a man that’s drowning.
“I’m coming with you.” Absolutely no room for argument, his mouth set in a stubborn line.
Rising on my toes, I place a gentle kiss there, flicking my tongue over the corner to tease it into curling up. “One of my favorite pastimes, really.”
His lips twitch as I turn, pulling out my drawer and digging for some soft, leather pants and a tunic as black as the shadows the court is named for. “I’m serious.”
Raising an eyebrow, I glance at him over my shoulder. “So am I.” Before he can get annoyed, I start stripping and tugging on the fresh clothes. “Why you thought I planned to go alone is beyond me. She requested my presence. My presence just so happens to come with presents. I’m generous like that; the gift that keeps on giving.”
He rolls his eyes, following my lead and stripping. My mouth waters at the sight of solid muscle, but goes instantly dry at the scarring on his stomach and shoulder from what Victor did to him. Mine may have faded thanks to the changeling, my body even more of a tic-tac-toe board in the right light than it used to be, but Lucien’s are still upraised; angry slashes of red and pink against his flesh.
The scars mottling my skin have never bothered me before, save the ones on my back. Those, I think I’ll be self-conscious about until the day I die. But the ones on the people I love? Those hurt to see.
“Don’t give me that look,” he whispers, voice low. He pulls a similar outfit on, covering the evidence. Out of sight, out of mind, so we can pretend that everything’s fine and shove the nightmare into a dark corner to be forgotten.
But I’m getting really tired of pretending.
It’s all that kept me sane for decades, but it’s just not working anymore. I can find ways to cope with my own pain, but not how to manage that of everyone else’s around me.
“Though losing track of your humans was pretty neglectful.” My eyes snap up to his, mouth partially agape. “No better than forgetting your kids at the store and driving home. Maybe Achlys wants to meet with you because you’re losing custody.”
I just blink, dumbfounded, until he smirks. My grin splits my face as I see what he’s doing, and I throw my hair back into a quick ponytail. “You’re right; Iamresponsible for you three in Faerie.”
His smile softens. “And I’m responsible for the three of you on Earth. Just because we made that deal what seems like a lifetime ago, that doesn’t mean it doesn’t still hold. Magic or no.”
Wrapping my arms around his waist, I rest my head beneath his chin, just for a minute. “The Fates’ know what a burden you all are, after all.”
He rests his cheek on the top of my head, fingers running a soft, soothing path over my spine. “The Victor mess was my fault, Cambria. Whether or not he was crazy, even if I didn’t know of his connection to Maddox, the two of us had been feuding for years. It was that hatred that escalated things so severely, beyond simple revenge or silent loathing, made it personal.”
I simply let myself breathe in his scent, giving him time to clear his mind of everything haunting him. Bringing him trigger happy in front of the person offering us our only safe haven will end catastrophically and he wouldn’t forgive himself anytime soon if he got us thrown out on our asses.
The poor guy has the emotional range of the universe, and all of the control of a toddler. He has a hell of a lot to learn to manage his newfound ability, and not a lot of time to master it before he causes himself to implode.
“As much as they’re going to be pissed, I think Dorian and Atlas should stay here to keep Azazel out of sight.”
He sighs. “They’re not going to like the idea any more than I would.”
I let my shoulders sag, matching his heavy exhale and absorbing his comfort. A minute, that’s all I allow myself before straightening. I’ve spent enough time at the mercy of everyone else, forced to be grateful for whatever freedom I was allowed. I’m not about to enslave myself to another queen with better motives, no matter how noble they may be.
Whether it’s from him projecting or my own revelation, when I face Luce, the low ember burning in my chest flickers to life. The small fire that’s kept me going swells until I feel alive, likemeagain, and I finally understand what they’ve been trying to get me to understand all of this time.
That I. Deserve. Better.Wedeserve better.
