Page 75 of Forged in Fear


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Saige

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“Istill can’t believeit didn’t work.”

Throwing another punch at Kahl’s face, he ducks while spinning back a step. Anticipating it, I hook my foot behind his ankle and yank, throwing him off balance. He stumbles, catching himself before crashing to the ground, but doesn’t swipe my feet out from under me like he should. Honestly, they take it far too easy on me during our training sessions, but I can’t say they haven’t been effective. I’ve managed to build up a decent bit of muscle between the sparring and steady meals, and I can predict most of their moves by now.

“We weren’t even sure it would work in the reverse. No use losing any sleep over it, love,” Kahl placates, but I can still sense a bit of disappointment. Or at least, I imagine it.

After the way my dragon took his rejection, there was enough debate over if her biting them would even be effective, since her heart wasn’t in it to try and draw their dragons out anymore. It was a long shot in the first place, but honestly, despite Kahl’s frequent assurances, she hasn’t forgiven him.

Each shift gets a little bit easier, like it was when my wings started growing so long ago, but it’s still a painful struggle. And every day since, I miss my conversations with my murder monster, not appreciating her nearly enough before she decided to hibernate for the damn winter in a bitchfit.

Faye’s starting to open up more now that we got the kid out of that place, and it makes me feel guilty mourning the loss of a voice when she’s lost so much more. I still have my mates and my dragon, even if she won’t talk to me.

“Still. How the hell are we ever going to get you guys to shift now? Not as much worry about me dying when chucked off a mountain if you know I can fly. I actually managed to screw things up even worse than they already were.”

Rather than try to land a hit on me in return, he goes for my bracelet, warped a bit from my initial shift and having to bend it back. Pivoting into him at the last second instead of away, I clutch my hands in front of my chest, using my shoulder to slam into him. Wrapping his arms around me reflexively as he starts to fall, I go down with him, the two of us crashing onto the mats.

“You didn’t mess anything up, Saige. We’ve told you a thousand times; we aren’t with you for the sake of accessing that part of ourselves. It’s because we love you.” His voice is harsh, trying to drive the point through my thick skull that doesn’t know how to accept it.

“I know, I just feel bad,” I admit lamely, slumping against him.

He rolls us so that I’m pressed into the mat with him hovering above me, caging me in. My heart ratchets up in response and he misinterprets my sudden stillness as fear.

“Fuck, I didn’t think, I’m so sorry,” he rushes out, pulling back instantly.

Hooking my legs around his waist, I shove off the mats, gripping him between my knees as I straddle his hips. “I’m okay.” Hands settling onto his bare stomach, fingertips tracing the hard ridges, I remind myself not to roll my hips, to control myself.

His palms settle on my sides, groaning and thumping his head back on the mat. “Come on, another twenty minutes before we can take a break.” He playfully slaps my hip to get me off, though I hate to tell him it’ll take a little more than that to do the trick.

In a bid to change the subject, I extend a hand to help him up. “Think they’re doing okay up there?”

Since Faye came to stay with us, even Ben’s icy, jackass heart started to thaw. And with as much loss as she’s suffered and the grief, he’s made a point to repeatedly warn us that everyone copes with trauma differently and she shouldn’t be left alone.

A convenient reason to need him to stick around if you ask me, for him to upgrade himself to therapist for her sake, but only the fact that she didn’t balk at the idea made me reluctantly accept seeing his stupid face around so often. Still, none of us trust him alone with her, so every time he finds a chance to stop by, someone sits in on their impromptu sessions. Since Kaiden’s taking point at the forge today, Kinsley’s up there busy playing chaperone and sketching while Eli and Ezra keep Timmy occupied in his room so he won’t overhear something he shouldn’t.

Faye’s not sure if he’s her nephew or not, only able to go based off of rumors. She long since thought her sister dead, but there’s no mistaking that exact shade of amber eyes matching hers. No name or pictures to go off of since his mom showed up at the human’s bunker days before she died in childbirth. It takes a village to raise a child in his situation, but it makes custody much murkier waters to navigate and really left no one to have a claim over his fate in the end. It makes more sense now why Faye was so desperate to save him, and I doubt it ever won’t piss me off that rather than let her just take him and run, they’d rather kill him to ensure he couldn’t come back for revenge when he was fully grown.

A self-fulfilling prophecy, really.

“If I didn’t know better, I’d think she might actually be starting to look forward to him stopping by,” Kahl grins, waggling his eyebrows and making me chuckle. “And I don’t think it’s for the therapy.”

He goes for my wrist again, but I drop to a crouch before rolling off to the side. “I doubt her dragon actually died. Likely just is hibernating in depression, for lack of a better phrase. Maybe having a crush on the asshole will help her move on, even if I desperately wish she’d like literally anyone else.”

He wraps an arm around my waist from behind, plastering me against his front and reaching for my wrist. Without a better idea, I stuff my hand down my shorts, turning to look at him over my shoulder and raise an eyebrow.

Might as well accept that I have an invisible damn chastity belt on, so why not store my valuables in my locked box?

“You just love playing with fire, don’t you?” He smirks, following the path down my arm and ignoring the scars that pave the way.

“You’re the one half naked right now. Before calling me out on being a hussy, you might want to take a good look in the mirror. Can’t really blame me when you walk around looking like that.” I gesture with my free hand to his chest and abs, because really, I feel like they explain everything perfectly.

“Saige,” he states, a bit of warning seeping into his teasing tone that I’ve become far too familiar with.

“Yes, yes, I’m aware of the rules.”

I try to keep the snark out of my tone, because I’m not about to bully him into caving. That goes against everything I stand for, even if it leaves me questioning where we stand. Up until now, hand jobs and blow jobs have been perfectly fine so long as the other person keeps their pants on, but he and I haven’t crossed that line, and it leaves a nagging bit of doubt in my head that I can’t dispel. Logically, just based on his words and affection, he’s interested. But with my dragon already licking her wounds, it doesn’t help to be constantly shrugged off, no matter how much of that is an issue in my head and not reality.