Kaiden
––––––––
The sound of a smallcreak has my eyes flying open and I’m on my feet in an instant, yanking open my door the rest of the way and stepping into the hall. I smack the light switch, but there isn’t anything out of place at first glance. Still, I triple check the doors and walk the perimeter of the house, cursing myself for being so jumpy. Not like I don’t have a reason, but fuck, she’s just so...so...fragile. Not breakable, because goddamn, her spirit must be made of steel. But she doesn’t have the same defenses a female dragon has. She has no abilities, men aren’t naturally inclined to protect her. She’s alone without anyone to guard her back, and coming from someone drowning in siblings and family, I can’t even imagine that type of loneliness and vulnerability.
I head back to my room, chastising myself for jumping at shadows. But after discovering that my brothers and I were right to be paranoid all of these years, I cut myself some slack. Still, I toss and turn, unable to fall back asleep. After about an hour, it’s clear I might as well kiss sleep goodbye and just get up for the day.
Passing by her door I hesitate, warring with myself. Yet her earlier words whisper in my ears and I try to curb the impulse. She’s so convinced that she has to deal with her issues on her own, doesn’t want to be a burden, but she doesn’t see how much harder it is to just sit out here and not intervene. When her nightmares make her toss and turn all night, it’s not like we can’t hear her whimpers. Hell, I’ve probably put four new holes in my bedroom wall this week, trying to find an outlet for my rage and helplessness.
Why can’t she see it wouldn’t be a burden to just sit with her so she isn’t alone? Maybe she’d sleep better if she knew someone was there watching over her, making sure she’d be safe while she let her guard down. She only knows how to be alone, but we could show her how much better things can be when you have people you can rely on.
I almost open the door, just to reassure myself she’s okay, but talk myself out of it. It has to be hard enough for her to even trust us as much as she seems to. If I go looking like some creep sneaking into her room in the middle of the night, it will destroy every bit of progress we’ve made, no matter my intentions. So even though it grates at me, I grab a bottle of water before heading downstairs to work out some of my frustration.
Losing track of time in our mock gym, I only snap out of the zone when I hear footsteps on the stairs. Grabbing a towel to wipe the sweat off, I meet Kahl’s worried gaze, my heart dropping into my stomach.
“What?” I bark, needing him to put me out of my misery because I know whatever he has to say isn’t going to be good. I know that face, see it every day in the mirror besides its clones always staring back at me. I know every little tick and what puts it there. And that open worry? Two guesses as to why.
“She’s gone.” I storm over and he continues to explain before I have to demand answers. “She left a note, no one took her.” I glance down and see him still clutching a paper in his hand and snatch it, eyes raking over it quickly.
I can’t thank you enough for everything you’ve done for me. I’m not ashamed to admit that I’ll look back on this time as the happiest I’ve been in years, and that means more to me than I can ever explain. But I can’t let you guys risk your lives to hide me after giving me that gift, or have you ruin them by always being afraid someone is going to find out. I’ve lived in that constant state of fear and wouldn’t wish it on anyone, especially you three. Take care of each other and hug your siblings for me. Don’t worry, I didn’t take anything; I wouldn’t repay your generosity by stealing from you.
Take care of yourselves,
Saige.
Cursing, I grab the handrail and take the stairs two at a time. Kinsley’s minding the forge today with our brother-in-law -which still makes me gag just thinking about- and I don’t run up to tell Elias. He won’t care, already had himself closed off knowing it was bound to happen, and I don’t need to hear it right now.
Not like I think I’ll magically see her sitting there, but I open the door to her room anyway, seeing the window open and the staples ripped out of the curtains. I bite my cheek, pissed off at myself for being hurt because I knew better. She’s human, and no matter how much we may have wanted to keep her for our own, she’s spent enough of her life imprisoned already. Why would she resign herself to a fate of being confined to a house, hiding in the basement every time there was a knock at the door?
Why would she trust us to protect her when the entire world has already let her down?
“She said she was happy,” Kahl mumbles lamely, looking just as forlorn as I no doubt do.
Grimacing, I spit, “It was a better prison than the one she left, was all. That doesn’t mean she was happy.” I swipe a hand down my face, forced to face facts I’d rather ignore.
I knew it was stupid to hope, but that doesn’t make it hurt any less.
Taking one last look around at the empty place before turning on my heel, I march into my room. Grabbing an empty duffel bag and stuffing some clothes into it before heading towards the kitchen, I load it up with some nonperishables.
Kahl comes around the corner, leaning against the door frame. “What’re you doing?” he asks, sounding defeated.
I don’t bother looking up, stopping short of dumping the whole kitchen in there, but I don’t want it to be too heavy. “She didn’t take anything with her. If she wants to ditch us, fine, but that doesn’t mean she needs to fuckin’ starve,” I growl, annoyed. “The hell was she thinking, not taking a damn thing with her? It’s not like she can just walk into a store and shoplift; they’d spot her a mile away.” I zip the bag shut and throw it over my shoulder, storming towards the front door and swiping the keys off of the end table.
“How are we even going to find her? She could have hours of a head start, we don’t know when she left,” he points out, falling into step behind me.
Letting loose a stream of internal curses as I realize the creak that woke me up this morning was likely her sneaking out the damn window, I clench my fist until the keys dig into my skin. Kahl’s right if so; she’s likely long gone.
“Call Kins,” I command, throwing the bag in the backseat of our new-to-us SUV and getting in the driver’s seat. “We’ll pick him up on the way.”
Kahl gives me a measured look, used to always taking the lead on everything, but not having the heart to do so right now. I really don’t give two shits about sparing his feelings over the pissing match either. Get mad; I sure as hell am. Better than being depressed and sitting around on our asses, moping.
She wants to leave us? Fine. But I’ll be damned if she’s going to be stupid about it.
We stop outside of the forge, Kinsley climbing into the back and looking ten different shades of hurt. “You fucking lost her?!” he demands, lashing out in his worry.
Kahl narrows his eyes at the condemnation in his tone, but doesn’t snap back, which just goes to show he’s too busy blaming himself. He won’t fight to defend himself if he doesn’t feel like he has room to talk, won’t seek forgiveness when it’s not owed.
“What’s your plan, Kaiden?” he dubiously asks, but a small flicker of hope still sparks to life in his eyes. “You really think you can find her?”
