After we reach the base of the tree we were heading for, Kahl hooks a finger in the loop of my jeans, tugging me into him. “You are perfect,” he practically purrs, tongue slipping into my mouth as he deepens the sudden kiss.
A pulse of desire shoots between my legs and I nearly whimper with need. The rough bark scratches at my back as he grinds into me with a groan, palm tracing up my side as I squirm against him, seeking more.
“Don’t make me get the hose,” Kaiden huffs, voice sounding strained.
Kinsley grips Kahl’s shoulder to pull him back as Kaiden pivots me around, placing his hands on my hips. For a hopeful moment, I think he’s actually going to cave, will fuck me from behind as I brace myself against the tree, but those wishes dissolve in a puff of smoke when he lifts me up towards the lowest branch.
“Keep testing us like this, and Kins won’t be the one you have to worry about snapping,” he warns.
Gripping the branch, I start hauling myself up, a pro at climbing by now. “You say that like it’s meant to be some kind of threat.”
They wait until I’m a bit further up before jumping, easily pulling themselves into the branches and starting their ascent. “You know why we can’t cross that line,” Kahl answers softly, though I have the excuse memorized by now.
Gritting my teeth, I gather my thoughts, exhaling the tension before it can force me to react. I’m jacked up on hormones right now, so I’m aware I’m overreacting to a rejection that isn’t there. They won’t sleep with me not because they don’t want to, but because most importantly, none of us want to take a risk on getting pregnant.
As much as nothing can ever be perfect, this is something we can actually control. No one knows what’s happening to me and I’d never want to condemn any child of ours to the same fate. And as much as I’ve come leaps and bounds healing, I have no idea how I’d react if one of them actually came inside of me. That sudden splash of heat as someone grunts above me, telling me I should be so lucky as to birth their spawn.
I really don’t think I could go through that without bursting into tears, and it would absolutely crush them if something like that happened. Honestly, I don’t think I’ll ever want to have kids, and in a world that banned production of birth control in response to the fallout of the war, it means we really never should cross that line unless we’re sure.
Still, we could do other stuff, yet they’re afraid we’ll get caught up in the moment and carried away. They’re likely right with as ungodly horny as I’ve been these last few days, but I don’t have to like it.
Ezra comes into view with her mates, laughing and smiling. I’d forgotten how absolutely massive Soren is, with obsidian hair and grey eyes. Even as they joke around, his eyes still scan their surroundings, never fully letting his guard down. Vyrian though, looks like he stepped out of a story book, with dark auburn hair and blood red eyes, looking like some sort of lithe, demon elf.
Seeing Caius, on the other hand, always gives me mixed emotions. I had a teenage crush on him for years after he helped me escape when my parents were killed, but it was just based on idolization, nothing deeper. He’s always been the more serious of them all, his blue eyes narrowed more often than not beneath his blonde hair. But as he looks at his mate with nothing short of absolute devotion, my heart squeezes, beyond happy for all of them.
“You kept them from losing that, you know,” Kahl whispers, watching the emotions flit across my face.
Leaning forward, I rest my arm on the branch near my face and lay my cheek on it, just watching them all for a minute with a sense of yearning, jealous of such simple, easy happiness. “Breaking into houses, spying on people and stalking their movements; you guys are turning me into a creep.”
From my right, Kaiden reaches over to place a hand on my knee, thumb stroking back and forth steadily. “We might have kept too much from her, but you can’t really blame us. Everything in life was working against her and we just wanted her to have that-” he gestures to her broad grin “-the ability to actually have a life like the rest of us take for granted.”
Yri moves to pull out his keys as we all watch with bated breath before he starts apologizing and Cai begins cursing. “You left them at the diner? Seriously? Knew we should have grabbed ours too, but noooooo that’s not necessary,” he drawls as they head back the way they came, Ezra chuckling and instigating to make it a race. She finally agreed not to run in the Gauntlet anymore, since the guys are convinced she could get pregnant at any time even if they aren’t trying since they go at it like rabbits.
“I don’t think it will ever be that easy for me,” I admit as we watch them sprint away, even though I know it’s not what they want to hear. “There’s just been too much to forget, as much as I’d like to. But you all changed me once already, so maybe some of your optimism will rub off too.”
Kinsley snorts. “We’re not optimistic. We know what absolute shit the world is and have no grand illusions about starting a revolution that will change the entire world. We just want to live out our lives as best we can while protecting the people we love. Hence why the house is armed to the teeth and we’ve invested so much effort into turning this town into a safe haven.”
Kahl squeezes my left shoulder reassuringly. “You don’t have to be blissfully ignorant to be happy. You can be scared it won’t last and let that stop you from ever enjoying anything, or you can take the little moments when and where you can. We’re surrounded by people we love that we’re terrified of losing too, you know.” His fingers tighten with his last statement, and I chastise myself for being so caught up in my own fears that I haven’t given much stock to theirs.
“But you realize everything you’d miss out on if you let it take over your life.”
My scales recede, and as much as that’s a relief, if it sticks to the pattern of the last few days, that means it will be wings next. We’re out in the open, and there are plenty of people walking around or driving past. There’s no doubt that someone would see me. But instead of rushing home to hide in the shadows just to be safe, I make a spur of the moment decision and start unzipping my jacket.
Kinsley starts questioning me so I logically point out, “She’s less active when I’m cold. It should buy us some more time before my wings give me away. And if we’re quick and I don’t destroy the jacket when they burst out, I can wrap them around me like a cocoon and it might be big enough to still cover me. Sure, I’ll look like a hunchback or a Christmas tree, but not like I’m trying to impress any of these people anyway.”
The first breeze that brushes over me elicits goose bumps. As much as I want to curl in on myself, I force myself to remain seated and draped over the branch in front of me at chest level. It doesn’t take long before I yawn, my energy diminished in the face of the cold. It works though; she seems completely passed out in the back of my mind. The only downside is that I’m far more susceptible like this. I’m not alone though, and for once, I actually believe things will work out.
Eventually they return, Ezra darting around the side of the house and sliding on the loose leaves. She snakes a hand out to catch the handrail before bashing her face on the cement steps, pivoting as she falls to land on her ass and dons a casual pose in one fluid motion.
Two seconds later Cai appears, putting his hands on his knees and huffing. “Knew I should have tripped you along with Soren.”
She snorts, still breathing heavily herself. “Pull punches, you’re going to pay for it. You’re too soft, Cai.”
He helps her to her feet, kissing her once before pulling the key ring from his pocket. “No, you’re just a feral heathen. Thereisa middle ground between following all the rules and using bodies as firewood, you know.”
After he unlocks the door, she slips beneath his arm to step inside ahead of him. “First one home gets out of chores for the week; them’s the rules. And out of courtesy to you, I will respect them.” He scoffs, but there’s no heat behind it, smacking her ass as she saunters inside.
And promptly invents at least five new curse words with her shouts.
